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Do you also dive into the wonderful world of Tinder, happn, and other dating apps ? Then you know that it is common for people to only show their first names in their profile. Most of the time, the apps don’t ask for it and there is a reason for that: it is a kind of protection wall to keep the identity of the users safe. Imagine your name is Sophie, then no one will know which of the thousands of Sophie’s you are, unless you want them to know. This way you can avoid stalking .
But it cuts both ways. Because how do you know that handsome ‘Tom’ or charming ‘Eva’ is not a pig in a poke? You know, one of those catfish who hides behind a screen and pretends to be someone else. To make sure you are not being taken in, it is useful to find out a last name. But how do you do that?
Know who your match is
“Know your date before you date” is the motto. Doing your research on a match never hurts. In fact, it’s a smart move if you care about your safety. And there’s no harm in seeking confirmation using Google. This fairly simple verification can save you a lot of awkward moments, especially if you’re a woman. In this world, you can never be too careful, especially when it comes to dating. So finding out that last name is your first clue to the truth; is your match a real person, a catfish , or perhaps someone pretending to be a younger version of themselves?
The internet is a goldmine when it comes to exposing fakers. It can provide you with proof that your date is actually the person they say they are, the person you confidently swiped right on. But it can also provide you with confirmation that it’s too good to be true. Let’s take a look at the different ways you can find out someone’s last name.
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The Google Method
You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to knit together some loose information into a whole. You already have a few puzzle pieces: a first name and a place of residence. Simply throwing these terms into Google can do wonders. With ‘Jan from Amsterdam’ you might not get far, but when it comes to ‘Quinten from Bornerbroek’ you’ll quickly get a bite. You’ll have matching profiles in no time.
Your dating app conversations and bios will give you some additional leads. If you know your match goes to UvA or works at Unilever, combine that info with what you already have. The questions you ask to get to know each other better can be the key to verifying someone’s identity.
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The Facebook Method
With just a first name and a city, you can gather some serious information on Facebook . Type in the name and city, and tap ‘See all results for…’. The list that appears gives you a good chance that your match is among them.
If you also have your match’s phone number or email address, it becomes a breeze. You can paste that information into the search bar and, if they haven’t hidden it, their profile will pop up. This only works if they’ve made that info public, of course. If you don’t want to be found that easily, try tinkering with your Facebook settings.
The LinkedIn Method
The LinkedIn method is basically a carbon copy of the Facebook approach. Enter the name and city and tap the search button. Be careful, if you view a profile on LinkedIn , the owner can see it, unless you go incognito of course.
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De Reverse Image Search-methode
Digital detective work doesn’t have to be limited to names and places of residence; after all, a picture is worth a thousand words. With the Reverse Image Search method, you go for visual verification. Take a screenshot of that cute profile picture of your match and enter it into a search engine that supports reverse search, such as Google Images .
It’s easier than you think. Drag the image into the search bar or upload the screenshot directly from your device. Click the ‘search button’ and the magic happens. You’ll get an overview of all the places where that photo is online. This way you can discover whether that photo is truly unique or just taken from an Instagram model.
Now it’s time to put the pieces together. Combine this visual info with what you already know from your chats and bios. Let’s say you find a photo on a travel blog with the same image. If your match said they love to travel, that seems true. But if the photo shows up on multiple spam accounts, you might be wondering.
To be extra sure, check to see if the photo is being used on multiple dating profiles. Some people have multiple accounts on different platforms. But if you see the same photo on ten different accounts and also on strange Russian dating sites, with ten different names? That should set off alarm bells.
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Nothing, nada, nothing?
If Google, Facebook, and LinkedIn don’t yield any results, you can always take it a step further. Try Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, you name it. It’s rare that someone has properly blocked all social media. If all else fails, asking for a last name isn’t such a bad idea. It’s still the most direct way to know for sure if someone is the real deal.
It seems simple, but it’s an effective way to confirm that your match is who they say they are. Of course, you can keep it casual: “Hey, I tried looking you up to see if we have any mutual friends or interests, but I couldn’t find you. What’s your last name?” It’s open, and pretty clear and straightforward.
Do you do it too?
A survey of 15,000 people found that one in two (50%) dating app users searched for their match online, either on Google or social media. Of this group, 30% decided not to meet their match based on what they found or couldn’t find.
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Should you search for your match or not?
As soon as you feel those first butterflies, we all dive into Google en masse. Could Tim from Utrecht be a hidden guitar talent? Or is Kim from Assen really as pretty as the pictures in the dating profile? Before you know it, you’ve spent hours on an online search and you’re completely up to date, even before you’ve met. But is that really so smart? There are people who consciously don’t look up anything in order to start a date without prejudice. Isn’t that better?
In general, we can say that checking is fine, but don’t overdo it. The last thing you want is to get caught liking an old vacation photo from 2015. Then you can forget about a first date. So let’s take another look at the pros and cons.
Pros of looking up
- Safety first: you want to know if that charming Tim from Utrecht is not a scammer who wants to extort your money? A quick name check can prevent a lot of problems.
- No catfishing: you immediately check if the person in question is who he says he is and has not created a fake profile. Nobody wants to waste time on a fictional character.
- Trust: You just feel a little more confident when you know more about the other person and maybe have seen a few more pictures. No nasty surprises.
Cons of looking up
- Quick judgment: you may unconsciously form an opinion based on what you see online.
- Creepy: There’s a fine line between doing a little research and downright stalkerish behavior.
- Authenticity: There’s something magical about it that gets lost when you know everything in advance.
- Disappointment: What if you see nothing but perfection online and the reality is a disappointment? Inflated expectations can really dampen the mood.
Does this give you enough food for thought? Do you play it safe and play internet detective, or do you keep the mystery intact and trust the chemistry of the first date? The choice is yours.
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