Share This Article
It could be the hardest decision of your life: ending a relationship. Especially if you have been together for a long time, ending a relationship can be extremely difficult. And then we haven’t even talked about how hard it will be for someone who didn’t see this decision coming.
Yes, we are talking about a rather heavy topic today, but that does not mean that we do not have some useful tips for you about this. One of them is to make a decision as soon as possible, because the longer you put it off, the more painful it will be.
Why end a relationship?
Ending a relationship is a decision you will remember forever. If you are thinking about ending a relationship, you can ask for advice from family members or close friends, but ultimately you have to listen to yourself: whether to break up or not is your decision.
Therefore, prepare yourself for a difficult period, because not only is the ending of the relationship and the aftermath extremely difficult, but also the fact that these thoughts are running through your head is anything but pleasant. You will therefore have to ask yourself questions and understand who your partner is, who you are and what you want from a relationship.
The most important question is whether you still see yourself with your partner in, say, 10 years. Is the answer ‘no’? Then you have your answer right away. Because leaving someone hurts, of course, but staying in a relationship that is completely hopeless hurts even more.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
Reasons to end a relationship
In fact, the main reason is quite simple: according to you, there is no future music in it anymore. In other words, there is no solution anymore for the relationship problems that you are experiencing. Underneath that, a whole bunch of sub-reasons can be pasted that are specific to your relationship. However, with each of these reasons it will become clear that the situation has deteriorated to such an extent that the damage can no longer be repaired. A number of common reasons for ending a relationship are in any case:
1. One of you is cheating
And that is at least one of you for the record. Because although some people still give their partner a second chance after a partner has had a good time on Second Love , that may not always be a good idea. Leaving someone who has cheated may sound easy, but in practice it is quite difficult. Still, you will have to confront this situation, no matter how difficult it is. Because if there is no more trust in the relationship, then the relationship is actually already broken.
2. Violence in the relationship
Are you a victim of violence in your relationship (in whatever form)? Then you must end the relationship. Are you subjected to blackmail, emotional abuse or physical violence in your relationship? Then end your relationship today. Are you afraid of your partner? Then seek help from family members, friends or an agency, no matter how difficult that may be. Together you are stronger.
3. Completely grew apart
In this case, you could care less about what your partner is doing, in fact, you have no idea. You live completely separate lives and have different daily activities, sleep separately, and have your own friends. Does this sound familiar to you? Then it is time to take action. Either you sit down at the table or you end the relationship.
Stop or continue?
Of course, we are taking this quite lightly now, but it is not that easy. It is therefore not surprising that many people endlessly doubt whether to stop or continue. The most important question is whether it makes sense to fight for the relationship or whether you should just let it go? In this regard, we have a number of comments for you:
You know yourself
Ultimately, there is only one person who can decide about your life and that is you. Sure, you are in a relationship together and you naturally take each other into account when making decisions. However, when deciding to end the relationship, you will really have to choose for yourself. Only you are the boss of your own life, don’t forget that.
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
Feeling vs. reason
This immediately brings us to the next point, because the struggles between feeling versus reason soon emerge. The choice to fight or to let go often comes from a trade-off between emotion and rationality. Therefore, keep in mind that there must be a balance between the two.
You can’t just say that it’s wiser to do ‘x’ and completely ignore your feelings. We’re all human in the end and emotions will always play a role. You can try to bring your feelings and reason as close together as possible. There has to be a balance in your choice.
Is the base strong enough?
This balance is reflected in another characteristic word: the ‘base’. Because there must be a foundation to build on. This is not only the case with a house or any other building, but also in an intangible thing like a relationship.
Is there enough trust, love and communication despite the doubts? Then there might still be a future if you discuss with each other what is going wrong. Is there no more basis and therefore no more reason to fight for each other? Then you know what you have to do.
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
How to stop
In the latter case, you may immediately ask yourself how you stop. Whatever the reason may be that is decisive, the conclusion is in any case that you realize that letting go is better. You know that by letting go of your partner you will ensure that you will be happier in the long run.
In the long term? Indeed. Keep in mind that it takes time to wean off and forget what you had together. Think of mutual agreements and other fixed rituals. It takes time to realize that you no longer have to take your partner into account.
While ending a relationship can be done quickly, and in a variety of ways , the aftermath is inevitable. How to go about ending a relationship?
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
Different ways to end a relationship
The first step is to realize that you are in for quite a ride. And in this case we are talking about a whole rollercoaster of emotions. Therefore, prepare yourself for a strong reaction from your partner and in many cases that can also spread to yourself. Therefore, try to remain as calm as possible, no matter how difficult that may be in practice. In addition:
1. Be decisive
What we mean by this is that you have to decide quickly. Avoid getting stuck in your doubts and therefore continuing to postpone the decision. Because the longer you hold on to a hopeless relationship, the more energy it costs and the more painful it becomes.
2. Personal, always personal
This may be obvious, but we have all become very good at making everything as impersonal as possible. This also applies to important announcements that are now done via WhatsApp without batting an eyelid . Try to avoid this and end the relationship personally. Wait until the moment you are together.
3. Choose the right moment
That doesn’t mean that the first moment you see each other, you have to break up. Maybe your mother-in-law is having an important operation at that moment or your partner is in a busy study week. Keep this in mind subtly and choose the right moment.
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
4. And the right place
This automatically includes the right place. Because you may have waited patiently until your partner has passed his or her important presentation, but if you make the announcement while the two of you are stuck in a long traffic jam, we can already predict a lot of drama. So choose the right place.
5. Provide substantiation
Finally, be prepared for the many questions that will come your way. Of course, you can say that ‘the feeling is not right’, but that will not help your partner much. Make sure you can substantiate these feelings with examples.
Your partner will come up with questions and you have to provide answers. Remember that ending a relationship is like closing a book. Make sure the chapter is really closed. Good luck!
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?