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Everyone has emotional needs. Even those who don’t even know they have these needs. It starts at birth and will remain that way throughout your life. When you are still small you have emotional needs towards your parents, and as you get older and get into a relationship, you also have emotional needs towards your partner.
To know which emotional needs you have in a relationship, it is useful to first know what emotional needs exactly are. We will give you a little more clarity about the emotional needs you have.
What are emotional needs?
The basic needs that everyone has are water, air, food and a house to live in. Everyone needs this to survive. However, that does not mean that if you have access to these needs, you will have a nice and happy life.
For that you have emotional needs, such as affection, safety and friendship . Another emotional need is to feel felt and heard. These are just as important as your basic needs . Without these emotional needs you can stay alive, but chances are your life will be much emptier.
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Emotional needs in a relationship
You also have these emotional needs in a relationship. The strength of your bond can depend greatly on how safe and comfortable you feel with your partner. If you feel like he or she never listens to you and doesn’t give you affection even though you really want it, your emotional bond can suffer significantly.
Of course this varies per relationship and per person. One person likes to cuddle every evening or to have in-depth conversations regularly, while the other may have much less need for it.
There are couples who have a very intimate relationship, but there are also relationships in which intimacy plays a much less important role. This does not mean that this relationship is less strong, but perhaps they simply have less need for intimacy.
1. Affection
Affection is an important emotional need in a relationship and it comes in different forms . For example, it can involve physical touch , sexual intimacy, sweet words or just a sweet gesture from your partner. Affection is a warm, loving feeling that you have for someone or someone has for you.
If affection is an emotional need, then it means the need to feel loved by your partner. This will help strengthen your bond and make you more intimate.
Not everyone shows affection in the same way. This can be confusing, especially at the beginning of a relationship, especially if you differ in this. By talking and getting to know each other better, you will soon find out what the other person finds important.
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2. Acceptance
Accepting each other in a relationship is also very important. Of course, you have to be able to be yourself in a relationship, otherwise it will be difficult to maintain the relationship. It is also nice to know that your partner completely accepts you for who you are, especially when you may be a little insecure about it yourself.
However, acceptance not only means that you and your partner accept each other, but it also means that you are comfortable being in each other’s lives and having each other in your lives. This feeling can be heightened when you introduce each other to your family, when you do things together, share future plans, and ask each other for advice when making difficult decisions.
3. Identity
The deeper your relationship goes, the more you share and the more you are likely to do together. Sometimes you can lose yourself in a relationship. It is important that you always remain yourself and remember who you are. You are not one person together, but one couple containing two different people.
You may have a lot in common and that can be a lot of fun, but it is also important to have your own life. If at some point you no longer fully recognize yourself in the relationship, it may be best to take a step back and look at everything from a distance. What do you think is really important?
Of course, it is not surprising if you and your partner become more similar over time. However, make sure that you still support everything and that you don’t become more like your partner because you feel like you have to do that to make the relationship work .
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4. Safety
This emotional need is one that begins at birth. Everyone wants to feel safe. In the past, you looked for this security from your parents, and as soon as you get into a relationship you naturally want to feel safe within it. It is important to know that your partner respects your boundaries and does not cross them.
You want to be able to share all your thoughts and feelings with the other person without thinking about it and without being afraid of what the other person thinks or says. When you have to make a difficult choice, you naturally want your partner to support you and stand behind you, whatever you decide.
In addition to being emotionally safe, you also want to feel physically safe with your partner. If this is not the case, it is very important to know that that feeling is not normal and that you should seek help. Physical abuse is often easy to see and recognize, but emotional neglect is a lot harder to recognize.
5. Trust
Trust is very important in a relationship. Without trust you are nowhere. This emotional need is often accompanied by safety. It is difficult to feel comfortable with someone you cannot trust. Trust doesn’t always come easy and sometimes it has to be earned. But when it’s missing in a relationship, it can cause you to argue a lot and be suspicious of each other. And of course that won’t make your relationship any better.
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