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One of the hardest things in dating – and sometimes in “real” life – is to figure out if a man finds you attractive. You ask yourself: “Does he find me attractive?” As a woman, it is of course very important to know if a man finds you nice and attractive. You can then decide to take the next step or to stop dating.
Luckily, there are a lot of things you can learn from a man’s body language to decipher whether he finds you attractive. For example, you can pay attention to his posture, eyes, and other small signals. But it’s not just the nonverbal cues. What he says to you, how he says it, and how it makes you feel are just as important.
But what does attraction actually mean? What is the role of hormones in this process of seduction? And what are clear signals of attraction?
What exactly is attraction?
Attraction is when you find someone so cute or attractive that you feel attracted to that person and want to get to know him or her better. If you are sexually attracted to someone, it means that you want to touch that person and feelings of lust arise. This intangible force is of great importance with falling in love; you can only fall in love with someone if you are also attracted to that person.
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Attraction and relationships
A lot of people will say that sexual attraction is not very important in a relationship. However, scientists say something different. They believe that attraction is actually very important for a healthy relationship. This often has less to do with your appearance, but more with chemical processes and hormones in your body.
When you get to know someone, your body will subconsciously assess that person. Many chemical processes will be activated to assess their scent, body shape, voice and appearance. Without you being aware of it, your brain will make a judgment about a potential partner.
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The role of pheromones
One of the most important chemicals in your body that determines whether you are sexually attracted to someone is pheromones. These chemicals have played an important role in relationships between men and women for years. They are small molecules that humans, and animals, can secrete. Pheromones have a structure that resembles hormones and are secreted through the skin, via sweat glands. When you inhale someone’s pheromones, they have an effect on your hormone balance.
The Smell and Perception of Pheromones
Pheromones are produced in the pituitary gland, in the brain. They do not have such a strong odor, so you do not consciously smell them in small amounts. In large amounts you can sometimes smell them. The most important pheromones for men are androstenone and androstenol. Androstenol resembles the smell of musk, which is often used in male cosmetics. According to most people, the smell of androstenone smells like sweat and urine, but some people find it a fresh, fruity smell.
If you inhale these pheromones, this is registered by your body and can therefore influence your behaviour. Some pheromones you find pleasant unconsciously and to others you feel not attracted at all. In this way, the pheromones determine – in part – whether someone finds you sexually attractive.
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10 Signs He Finds You Attractive
If you want to find out if a man finds you attractive, it is smart to pay attention to a number of clear signals. If you pay attention to these, it can be very easy to find out if a man is sexually attracted to you. These are the most important signals listed for you.
1. The importance of eye contact
If a man is attracted to you, it is smart to pay close attention to his eyes. He will not always have his own wandering eyes in hand and will unconsciously stare at you. If he looks you up and down and can’t keep his eyes off you, this is an important signal.
In addition, people who are sexually attracted to you will want nothing more than to make eye contact with you. This is a way for a man to show that he is interested in you. If a man holds your eye contact often, this can be a clear sign that he finds you attractive.
2. Smile a lot
When you see something you like, the automatic reaction is often to smile. This is also the case when someone finds you attractive. They will smile a lot because they are happy to see you and to show that they are interested in you. Men often tend to limit their smile to a grin, but if they smile with their eyes (“Duchenne smile”, as shown on the left), this is a clear sign that they really like you.
3. Larger pupils
You can find out more information about attraction in his eyes. Your pupils dilate when you look at someone you like or find attractive. So do you notice that during intense eye contact with a man, his pupils dilate? Then this can be an important signal to pay attention to.
4. Touching his throat
Something that a lot of men do when they find someone attractive is touch their throat. This is something that comes from insecurity and a man who is vulnerable. When men find someone attractive, they will also be more nervous because they don’t know if this is mutual . They will then touch their throat because they are nervous. Men do this unconsciously, which makes this a perfect signal to pay attention to.
5. He comes close
If someone finds you attractive, they will want to touch you. Touch is important to show affection . So as he walks by, he will rub his arm against you and touch you in lots of little ways. You may not even notice it until you pay attention.
Maybe it’s a hand on your arm, an arm around your shoulder or a subtle touch when you’re standing next to each other. He will also always try to be close to you. Whether you’re walking, sitting or standing together, he will always try to be as close to you as possible.
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6. The eyebrows and the lips
You can read a lot from a man’s face to find out if he finds you attractive. It is not only his eyes that are important for this, but also his eyebrows and lips. The eyebrows are raised a little when there is attraction; out of pure interest and because he likes to look at you.
In addition, licking your lips is an important signal of attractiveness. If a man is interested in you, he will want to come across as charming. He does this by maintaining intense eye contact with you and licking his lips. He probably does not have that he moistens his lips: ready to be kissed .
7. The pace at which he walks
This may seem like a strange signal, but research has shown that a man will adopt the pace of a woman he is attracted to. He will slow down or speed up to match yours. So the next time you are walking with your new flame, you might want to pay attention to his walking pace.
8. He speaks in a lower voice
Research has shown that men lower their voices when talking to women they are attracted to. Of course, this can be hard to notice, but compare the pitch of his voice when he is talking to you or just chatting with friends or family. Does he start to growl a little? Or does his voice sound a little deeper when he talks to you?
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9. He gets jealous
If you see a man get jealous when you are meeting or chatting with another man, this can also be an important sign. How a man shows his jealousy varies from person to person. But jealousy – in a healthy dose – is perfectly normal if he finds you attractive. If you notice him getting jealous, this probably indicates that he is attracted to you.
10. Flirting
Perhaps the most obvious signal is flirting . If a man is attracted to you, he will naturally flirt with you to show that he is interested in you. It is one of the clearest signs of attraction.
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