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High sensitivity, hypersensitivity or new age children. Different names with the same definition. How we live today reveals many of these high sensitivity symptoms in a negative way and is often seen as deviant or problem behavior. Shame. Because just like any other child, these children also have their own talent and are often very humorous, creative and gentle children. The danger, however, is that these children are regularly confronted with misunderstanding from their environment.
They may develop fears of failure, insecurity or, for example, a poor self-image . In addition, I also see children who develop behavioral disorders, partly due to misunderstanding from the environment. In this article I want to give a number of tips to better understand hypersensitive children and how to deal with them.
1. Empathy
With high sensitivity comes the intense experience of emotions and feelings. Children learn to recognize emotions such as anger, happiness and sadness and learn how to deal with these emotions. For many children this comes naturally. It strikes me that for a large number of highly sensitive children this is a point where they get stuck. Situations but also emotions of others can evoke so many intense emotions in these children, with the result that they do not really know what to do with them. They express this under the guise of ‘anger, rude but even hyperactive or aggressive behavior’. It is logical that an adult in a parenting role then scolds that child.
Yet in reality this child does not need punishment, but a helping hand to express these emotions in a different way. Because these children are also extremely empathetic, can help other children well and have a strong intuition. They can ask pointed questions and sometimes seem to know exactly what is going on with you.
They notice the smallest changes such as wearing different shoes, but also emotions. When you feel sad, you will also see this reflected in your child’s behavior. Keep this in mind. For example, it is useful to actually discuss certain emotions and to acknowledge the child’s feelings without sacrificing your own norms and values. For example, if a child shows hyperactive behavior because there is tension, you can say ‘I see that you are having a hard time staying calm right now, you are running around and making a lot of noise. I’m going to help you by putting you in a quiet place for a while. You can come back when you are calm.’
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2. Creative
These children are often extremely creative. This is especially reflected in children’s crafts and games. You also hear it in their experience. They usually experience and see things differently than others and can also get away with it by fantasizing stories about it. It strikes me that a restriction is quickly imposed on this. Coloring within the lines is still very important in upbringing and education, while later in life this fantasy and creativity is greatly appreciated!!
As a parent you can encourage this by continuing to talk to teachers. Indicate why you think it is important that there is room for your child to express his/her creativity. As parents, compliment your child. Tell your child that you think it’s great that he/she prefers to make his/her own drawings rather than coloring in coloring pages. Join your child’s play. We are used to playing by the rules, but as a child you don’t have to do that yet, right?!
When your child comes up with a few extra or replacement rules in a game of Monopoly, applaud them! Even better, join us! Make up some too. Listen to what your child has to say. This way you also hear what is going on in their world. You can also stimulate it by philosophizing with your child. Ask questions so that your child thinks and try to avoid judging the answer as right or wrong as much as possible. In this way you stimulate the creativity but also the self-confidence of the child.
3. Increased consciousness
The senses work more strongly than others. Stimuli such as sound, light, smell, touch and taste become more intense. This increased awareness contributes to the child’s development of strong intuition. Children who are highly sensitive can observe and analyze well later in life. They know how to emotionally assess situations perfectly and are often highly developed socially-emotionally.
Unfortunately, today’s society quickly creates overstimulation, causing children to show extreme behavior such as mood swings, fatigue or chaotic or manic behavior . Children find it difficult to give direction to this themselves and often do not really understand what is happening. As an educator, you can support the child in this by allowing him to regularly recover from the stimuli, the so-called stimulus processing. By letting the child play alone for a while in a quiet, sober space with few belongings, the child can relax and recharge without punishing the child.
For some children it is also enough to sit in a separate room with a friend. You can do this at home by giving your child space to play. Children already have to go to school a lot. Of course, a hobby such as a sport is good for a child. Ask your child what he/she likes and choose one thing together. This way, in addition to school and a hobby, there is enough time to play. These children need time and space to learn. When someone pushes too much or is watched too much, there is a good chance that a child will underperform.
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The way of making contact and addressing the child is also important. It helps to walk up to a child, sit at eye level, gently touch an arm and make eye contact. Speak in a soft, friendly and calm voice and clearly state what you expect from the child. This way the child immediately hears what you want from him or her. When you shout something from a distance, there is a good chance that the message will not reach the child but will instead cause anxiety.
Of course I don’t want to forget cuddling! These children also feel intensely and can really enjoy contact. Girls love to curl up on your lap and have a cuddle, but don’t forget the boys. Even the tough ninjas sometimes need some warmth through contact. With or without a hug, a good tickle or romp is certainly appreciated and before you know it they secretly add a little cuddly toy afterward.
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