Dating Someone Fresh Out of a Relationship? 11 Things You Need to Know

Breakups are hard. You go through phases of grief, anger, fear, resentment, and maybe even guilt. When it’s a long-term relationship, the emotions run even deeper. Recovering from a breakup is rarely a matter of days or weeks, it’s more like months… or years.

Dating someone who has just come out of such a relationship is therefore not easy. Of course, it is possible that the love between them had long since disappeared and that the relationship ended peacefully. But it could also have been unexpected and traumatic. So it is never the same and that is why it is important to think about the situation you will find yourself in when you start dating someone who has just come out of the relationship.

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Dating someone who just got out of a relationship?

If you are going to date someone who has just gotten out of a relationship, you should know that there are some risks involved. You could get hurt, disappointed, and you could also expect the wrong thing. Here are eleven things you should know.

1. They may not want a relationship

The first point is obvious. Most people want a period of peace after a breakup. What they don’t want is to jump straight into another relationship, even if it’s just to get over an ex . Because of the rising infatuation, you can easily ignore or ‘forget’ this, but the fact is that your new interest may not be able to handle a relationship at all. At least not at this moment.

2. It could be a rebound

A rebound is a reaction to the previous relationship. It is not the start of a new relationship, but rather a consequence of the broken relationship. As you might expect: the rebound relationship is temporary and mainly intended to fulfill the physical, emotional and social needs of that moment. This can be at the expense of you – as the new partner – and your feelings.

3. They can take on a role

Those who have been betrayed or mistreated by their partner may still be in their role as victim. This is a role they can carry over into a new relationship, despite the fact that you are very different. As a result, you treat this person very differently than others. This changes the dynamics of the relationship.

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4. They may compare you

It is not good for the relationship when you are compared to an ex. However, this happens more quickly with someone who has just gotten out of another relationship. You can’t even blame them, because the previous life is still so fresh. However, it does make you feel insecure about yourself and the relationship.

5. They may not be ready

The man or woman you like may not be ready for a new emotional connection. It may be because they still long for the connection with an ex. This is the case if they have not yet let go of the relationship. Or they still have feelings for their ex. In other cases, it may be that the previous relationship needs to be processed properly first.

6. They can take you for granted

Because this person hasn’t had the chance to become independent yet , they may behave as they did in their previous relationship. That is, they don’t put in the effort you would expect when you first start dating someone. Instinctively, they sit on the couch, initiate little, and take the relationship for granted, because that’s what they’re used to.

7. It requires trust

If the ex is still a factor in the life of the person you are dating, it requires a certain amount of trust. This can be difficult. You will start asking yourself questions like these:

1. Do they still have feelings for each other?
2. Will the ex try to make amends?
3. Will they develop feelings for each other again soon?
4. Can I trust him (or her)?
5. What should I do if they are flirting?
6. What do other people think?

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8. It must be taken slowly

Try not to rush into making plans for a future together. It is too fragile when someone is fresh out of another relationship. Take it slow and at a slower pace than you may be used to. Spend enough one-on-one time together first instead of introducing them to everyone right away.

9. They can be awkward

Those who have just come out of a long-term relationship probably have no experience with dating. The only experience they have is from a different time, when they were much younger and different. Because of this, they may not know what to do, how dating works, and what is expected of them .

10. They may have trouble trusting you

Depending on what happened in the previous relationship, they may still have a distrust of others. From long-term affairs to physical and emotional abuse: such experiences take time to process.

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11. Expectations may be different

While you may have the intention to eventually settle down with this person, they may feel very differently about it. They may see you more as a friend with benefits . Therefore, make your expectations clear early on, taking into account that the other person probably wants to go slower than you do.

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