Dating Etiquette in 2023: Good Manners Explained from A to Z

Picture this: Your heart is racing, your breathing is getting shallow, and you feel a slight nervousness in your stomach. You’re about to go on a date with that special match. But wait, before you rush out the door, have you thought about dating etiquette? Yes, those unwritten rules that ensure your date goes smoothly and pleasantly. Because let’s face it, who doesn’t like a touch of elegance and courtesy in the dating process?

From the preparation to the moment of goodbye, a first date is all about the first impression you make on each other. It’s a chance to show who you are, put your best foot forward and show that you’re willing to make an effort for the other person. But how do you make full use of the right dating etiquette? We’re going to tell you more about that.

What is dating etiquette?

Dating etiquette is like a magic recipe for a successful dating experience. It is the unwritten rules and norms that ensure that your date goes smoothly and that both parties feel valued and respected. It is all about showing courtesy, respect and consideration for the other person. In other words, showing good manners.

Imagine going on a romantic date with someone you find attractive. It all starts with the preparation. You take the time to groom yourself and present yourself in a way that suits the occasion. You choose your clothes carefully, taking into account the location and type of date. You make sure you are fresh and well-groomed, with attention to your personal hygiene. These small – but important – details show that you value the date and that you have taken the time to look your best.

Dating etiquette goes beyond grooming. It’s also about communication leading up to the date. And while you’re meeting, you’re practicing dating etiquette. But dating etiquette goes even further than that, because it’s also about showing respect and courtesy in the small gestures. Like offering to split the bill, putting your phone down, and giving your full attention to the other person.

Example

A more specific example of dating etiquette in action might be when you notice that your date is a little unsure about choosing a dish at a restaurant. You suggest sharing some of your favorite dishes so that you can both enjoy different flavors. This not only shows your caring and willingness to share, but also your flexibility and ability to accommodate the other person’s wishes.

When etiquette is not followed

Etiquette creates a pleasant atmosphere during the date. It helps to avoid unnecessary tensions and creates a feeling of mutual respect and appreciation. You show that you appreciate the other person when you follow etiquette and that you make an effort to make the date enjoyable. And that is necessary, because without good manners a date would be anything but enjoyable. And we can best explain this using an example.

Imagine yourself sitting at a table in a cozy restaurant, eagerly awaiting your date. Suddenly, your date walks in, hurried and without any apology for being 10 minutes late. On top of that, their disheveled appearance and unkempt hair detract from the effort you put into looking your best. Your date sits down, without a greeting or a smile, and immediately starts texting while you awkwardly wait for a conversation.

After an awkward silence, your date starts talking, but the conversation is mostly about the other person. Your date interrupts you constantly and doesn’t let you finish. You try to be polite and ask questions to show interest, but your date doesn’t seem to pay much attention. You start to wonder if your date is even interested in who you are and what you have to say.

As the evening progresses, you notice that the other person is also not showing any form of courtesy. The lack of respect and attentiveness is starting to bother you more and more. Finally, your date insists on splitting the bill , without any discussion. You realize that this date is far from pleasant. Not because you have to pay your own share, but because etiquette is nowhere to be found.

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Possible consequences

When dating etiquette is not in order, as the example shows, various awkward situations can arise that negatively affect the atmosphere and the course of the date . Here are some possible consequences of ignoring etiquette:

• Confusion and discomfort: You may experience awkward silences and uncomfortable situations.
• Bad first impression: it gives the impression that you are disinterested, rude or careless.
• Inappropriate behavior: you make the other person feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or disrespected.
• Mismatch in expectations: you cause awkward moments or disagreements.
• Negative reputation: Your bad manners spread quickly within social circles and online platforms.

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How to Show Good Manners: Etiquette from A to Z

Dating etiquette is of great importance during a date if you want the meeting to go smoothly. It makes both you and the other person feel valued. How do you show these good manners? We explain etiquette from A to Z, from preparation and online etiquette to saying goodbye.

Online dating-etiquette

• Make sure you have an honest and representative online profile , including clear and recent photos.
• Be respectful in your communication.
• Avoid sending inappropriate messages.
• Be polite and personable when initiating conversations.
• Show interest in the other person.
• Ask open-ended questions to spark a good conversation.
• Respect the other person’s pace.
• Protect your personal information.
• Be careful when sharing sensitive data.
• Give the other person space to respond
• Don’t take everything personally .
• Wees open-minded.
• Treat others online the way you would like to be treated.
• Be honest if you are not interested and indicate this in a respectful manner.
• Be open to different backgrounds and interests.
• Set realistic expectations.
• Be polite when turning someone down.
• Give compliments in a sincere way .
• Take the necessary precautions to protect your privacy.
• Be considerate of the feelings of others.
• Ensure good grammar and spelling in your posts.
• Avoid sending too many messages without waiting for a response.
• Do not send unsolicited sexual photos or messages.
• Be honest about your relationship status.

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Preparing for a date

• Think about your choice of clothing .
• Shower ahead of time.
• Make sure you have clean clothes.
• Brush your teeth.
• Use deodorant.
• Take care of your hair.
• Shave or trim your facial hair.
• Cut your nails.
• Wear clean socks.
• Put on some nice perfume.
• Make sure you have a clean car.
• Check your breathing.
• Iron your clothes if necessary.
• Wear appropriate makeup.
• Put on your favorite jewelry.
• Style your hair.
• Wear clean underwear.
• Have a backup plan in case of changes.
• Before the date, be clear about your intentions and what you expect.
• Be clear about the practicalities surrounding the date.
• Please confirm the date in time.
• Discuss the location and time so that you are both well prepared.
• Think of possible topics of conversation that you both find interesting.
• Research your date’s interests.
• Plan your route to the meeting place.
• Charge your phone before the date.
• Make sure you have enough money for the date.
• Find information about the location of the date .
• Please bring your ID.
• Do not drink alcohol before the date.
• Read the news to stay informed about current events.
• Write a positive affirmation for yourself.
• Make a list of possible questions to ask your date.

During the date

• Be on time.
• If there are unforeseen circumstances that will cause you to be late, please let us know in advance.
• Please be patient if your date is a little later than expected.
• Choose a greeting that suits your relationship and comfort level, such as a handshake, kiss, or hug.
• Behave respectfully and kindly in your demeanor.
• Show that you are excited to meet the other person.
• Practice active listening during the date.
• Focus your attention completely on your date.
• Show interest in what the other person has to say.
• Avoid sensitive and inappropriate topics.
• Make sure you both have the opportunity to share your thoughts and opinions.
• Be considerate, kind, and respect your date’s personal boundaries.
• Show appreciation for others through small gestures of courtesy.
• Limit your phone use during the date.
• Be present in the moment.
• Avoid negativity or complaining.
• Let your date finish talking.
• Don’t just talk about yourself.
• Don’t be too critical.
• Show that you take it seriously.
• Discuss in advance who will pay.
• Avoid excessive alcohol consumption .
• Be prepared to make your contribution.
• Stay calm and collected when uncomfortable situations arise.

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Closing the date

• Pay attention to nonverbal cues that indicate the date is coming to an end , such as a change in body language or a decrease in energy.
• Be aware of verbal cues, such as mentioning other commitments or indicating fatigue, that indicate the date should end.
• Thank your date for meeting you.
• Discuss a follow-up, such as another date, if there is mutual interest.
• Afterwards, send a thank you note to your date for the company.
• Make plans for the next meeting if the date went well and there is mutual interest.
• Discuss together what you like and choose an activity that excites you both.
• Send a good night message to end the evening.

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Safety and borders

• Always be aware of your personal safety while dating.
• Choose a safe meeting place.
• Don’t share your personal information too early.
• Trust your intuition.
• Set clear boundaries for yourself.
• Respect your date’s boundaries.
• Communicate openly and honestly about what you are and are not comfortable with.
• Then be assertive and protect yourself when you encounter unwanted behavior.
• Seek support from friends, family or even the police.

Dating etiquette is actually essential to create a positive and respectful dating experience. It shows consideration for the other person and contributes to a pleasant atmosphere. While etiquette is important, it is also important to develop your own personal style. So be authentic while adhering to etiquette.

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