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When someone has lost their partner, with whom they may have shared decades of joy and sorrow, it can be difficult to start a new relationship. Change is not easy when it comes to love. However, after a period of mourning, a widow or widower can once again feel the desire to share their life with someone.
If you are dating a widow or widower, you may wonder whether that person is ready for a relationship. Fortunately, there are a number of important signals that you can look out for to find out whether this is the case. We will tell you more about these signals and give you tips to prevent a false start.
A fresh start
If you are dating a widow or widower, it is important to find out if this person is ready for a relationship. Maybe he or she is still grieving and is not really looking for a new relationship.
If someone has lost their husband or wife, it is very natural that they feel alone. This can make them feel like they ‘have to’ start a new relationship to fill that void. They have most likely been in a relationship for years and are no longer used to being alone. Combined with a lot of sadness, this can make them want to rush into a new relationship, while they are not really ready for it.
Of course, you don’t want to be the one to fill that void – the temporary replacement for a lost partner. You want to be with someone who is really ready for a new start and wants to go for it with you. But how do you find out? How do you know if the widow or widower you’re dating sees a new future with you?
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Avoid the false start
One of the most important things to keep in mind is that everyone needs a period of grieving after losing a loved one. This is a process that can sometimes last for years, and in many cases, the grieving process never really ends. How far along someone is in the grieving process largely determines how ready they are to start a new relationship. That being said, the widows and widowers who are active on dating sites are usually at that point already.
In general, widowers seek love more quickly than widows. For a man, this can be as early as a year after the death of their partner, while for women it can take up to five years to fully recover. Of course, this varies from person to person and the process can take longer or shorter.
However, it is important to avoid a false start and not to start a relationship with a widow or widower too soon after the death. If someone is already reaching out after a few weeks, there is a good chance that this is because he or she feels lonely, and not because they are really looking for a new relationship for the long term.
Don’t make excuses
Another important tip to avoid a false start is to be honest with yourself. Therefore, do not make excuses for the behavior of the widow or widower you are dating. If there are signs that indicate that he or she is not yet seriously looking for a new love, then you should not want to continue with it.
It is wiser to leave this man or woman, as difficult as that may be, and look for someone who is ready for love. You do not want to wait months or years for someone to get through the grieving process.
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5 Signs That He or She Is Ready
But what exactly are the signs that the person you are dating is really ready for a new relationship? If you are dating a widow or widower and you see one or more of the following signs, then there is a good chance that your relationship will be successful.
1. Words and actions match
One of the first signs you can look for is whether the words and actions of the person you are dating match up. Of course, this is not only the case if you are dating a widow or widower, but in any relationship this is important.
If you notice that a man or woman keeps his or her words, then this is a very good sign. This often means that he or she really wants to go for it. Do you notice that someone only talks nice words, but never really follows through? Then it is often smarter to break off the relationship and move on.
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2. He or she does not constantly talk about the deceased partner
Of course, it is logical that the deceased partner of a widow or widower still plays a role in his or her life. They have most likely shared joys and sorrows for years, and that love will never go away. However, it is important that he or she does not always talk about his or her deceased partner.
Do you notice that the name of the deceased partner is mentioned in almost every conversation? That everything triggers a memory? Or that he or she starts talking about beautiful moments from the past very often? Then there is a big chance that he or she is not yet ready for a new relationship.
If you notice that you also have days where it is not about him or her at all, then this is a good sign. Of course, it is logical that it is about the deceased partner every now and then; this is also something you will have to accept if you are dating a widow or widower. The most important thing is that there is a balance; there is attention for the past, but also a look to the future and a beautiful new relationship.
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3. There are only a few photos
It is logical that after years of a beautiful marriage or long-term relationship , there are photos from this period. If there are a few scattered throughout the house, this is understandable and again something you will have to respect. However, it is also about balance; are there photos throughout the house and does he or she still have a photo of their partner next to their bed? Then there is a good chance that the person is still in the grieving process.
It is therefore very important to respect this and give him or her time. The grieving process is not something you can rush. It takes time. So do not ask to remove the photos; he or she will do this on their own – when the person is ready.
4. He or she contacts you
When you are dating, you want to get to know each other better, talk to each other and go on dates. Just like in any relationship, you want to be contacted and interested in you. If the widow or widower you are dating is interested in who you are and what you do, this is a good sign.
As a widow or widower, it is very easy to only seek contact when they feel lonely. Company, not love. So if you notice that they want to talk to you weekly, or maybe even daily, this can be a good signal. Consistency is very important for a new relationship and can therefore also be a sign whether your relationship has a chance of success.
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5. You meet his or her family
The final sign that the person you are dating is genuinely interested is when he or she introduces you to their family and friends. Of course, it may take longer before you meet the kids, for example. Most men and women want to be pretty sure that you will be in their lives for a long time before they introduce you to the kids. Give your new partner time for that and try not to rush it.
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