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Do you use “I” instead of “we” more often in a relationship? You could be even happier in love than you already are, according to new research from the University of California, published in the journal Social and Personal Relationships . The study examined the link between plural personal pronouns and happiness in romantic relationships. The results? Couples who use “we” and “us” more often are happier in love.
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From self-oriented to relationship-oriented
If you have been together as a couple for a long time, it is not strange that you see yourself as part of something bigger. You are no longer a separate individual but part of a package of two.
Previous research has shown that “we” expressions are an indicator of strong interdependence; a shift from self-focused to relationship-focused. The new research confirms these results but also shows that the use of plural personal pronouns can predict the future prospects of a relationship .
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Favorable for multiple factors
The team, led by psychologist Megan Robbins, analyzed 30 studies with more than 5,000 participants. More than half of this group of participants were married. The researchers took into account five key factors in the relationships: how long the couples have been together, their behavior within the relationships, mental health, physical health and how well they take care of themselves on a daily basis.
After analyzing the studies, the scientists concluded that “we-talk” proved beneficial in all categories, for both men and women, which corresponds to being happier in the relationship. Talking about ‘us’ and ‘we’ is not only good for older couples but also for young people. It can help to resolve a conflict, but it is good even if your partner is not physically nearby.
The question remains whether couples who are happy are more likely to speak in the “we” form or whether talking about “us” makes them happier. According to researcher Robbins, it’s probably both, ScienceDaily reports . “Hearing yourself or a partner say these words can change the way you think. It can make you as a couple more interdependent on each other, which could lead to a healthier relationship.”
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