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At some point in our lives, most of us find ourselves in a relationship that isn’t working. Sometimes it’s just the way things go, like when two people grow apart . Other times the reasons are more clearly stated, such as a long distance or an age difference . But the problem that ultimately causes the breakup can also be a bit more complicated.
Do you increasingly notice that your partner is annoyed by the way you eat, even though you always eat the same way? Is your partner starting to correct you more and more often? And are you increasingly being reminded that you are doing something ‘wrong’ in the eyes of your partner? Then that could be a sign of contempt in your relationship.
What is contempt in relationships?
Contempt in relationships occurs when either partner speaks condescendingly about the other. That’s when you value yourself more than your partner. You therefore treat your partner not as an equal, but as someone who is inferior – as if your partner is beneath you or not worth your time. It’s more than criticizing your partner , because contempt is fueled by dormant negative thoughts that build up throughout the relationship.
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8 signs of a condescending partner
When people think about the behaviors that lead to a breakup, most people tend to think of the known causes: from cheating and financial problems to changed personalities and changed feelings . But in addition to these clear causes, there are other causes that appear smaller and insignificant, while they are not. Contempt for a partner is an example of this. These are 8 signs you have a contemptuous partner.
1. Your partner feels superior
The first sign of contempt in a relationship is that your partner has a feeling of superiority. When it comes up, your partner is the best and the brightest of the two of you, even if you question that. There is nothing wrong with self-confidence, but there is something wrong with arrogance . It is very tiring to have a partner who acts as if he or she knows everything and you know almost nothing.
If your partner has the opportunity to teach you something you don’t know, don’t miss the opportunity. Because everything is explained to you in detail, even the simplest things, your partner comes across as very condescending to you.
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2. Your partner puts you down
Since this person has placed themselves high above you, a very critical view arises. In the eyes of your partner, you can never do well enough. No matter what you do, nothing is ever good enough. This mainly focuses on your weaknesses. Whether it’s the food you cook for the family or the work you do, it’s not good enough. But your partner does not want to be under a magnifying glass, because weaknesses supposedly do not exist in your partner.
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3. Your partner always knows best
Always being right, but always: it is an annoying habit of your partner. Even when something is wrong and it is even obvious, it is certainly not admitted. Everything is done to ensure that you are not proven right. Why? Because it’s just not possible for you to know something and your partner not to.
4. You are compared to other people
Even though you are doing certain tasks that you really don’t want to do, your partner manages to make it worse by saying that “[Name] is doing a good job.” Making your partner feel inferior to someone else is a form of contempt.
5. Your partner interrupts you all the time
A condescending partner can make you feel like your opinion is worthless. For example, while you want to say something, you keep being interrupted and you don’t even get the chance to share your opinion. If you don’t get that opportunity, your partner doesn’t see you as an equal. Constantly interrupting is also a way to humiliate someone.
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6. Your partner makes sarcastic comments
Sarcastic comments are a form of contempt that is not so obvious. For example, your partner may hold a grudge about something he or she is unhappy with. But instead of open communication, they prefer sarcasm to make it open to discussion. Only in a way that is belittling.
7. Your partner corrects you publicly
It is terribly annoying when you are publicly corrected, especially by the partner who should support you through thick and thin. While it may seem like someone is being helpful at first, it can quickly become a problem. You have the right to finish your sentences when you have the floor.
8. Your partner is patronizing
Does your partner regularly deprive you of the opportunity to do something yourself? Or are you not allowed to make your own choices? If this happens regularly, it can start to belittle you. A patronizing partner or spouse may seem helpful, but the underlying message is very clear: you are incapable of doing it yourself.
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