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You’re Tindering and match after match comes to nothing. Suddenly there are two matches that catch your attention and you have a first date with both of them . It’s a phase in which there is no exclusivity yet, but at some point you have to make a choice. Who do you choose? After all, you can’t start a relationship with both of them, even if you see both women as relationship material.
Choosing between two women
It may seem like a perfect situation, but in reality it is a big problem. Because if you want to take your relationship with one of the two women to the next level, you have to make a choice. Who will it be? With these tips you can make the choice between two women.
1. Note the pros and cons
A simple way to deal with difficult decisions is to write down all the pros and cons. Don’t do this in your mind, write it down. If you write it down with pen and paper, you will remember it better than if you do it in your mind or digitally. Write the name of one woman at the top of an A4 sheet and write down all the pros and cons below that. Do the same for the other woman, but on a new A4. Write down everything: from obstacles and challenges to what you feel and find beautiful.
Compare the two women on the pros and cons, but don’t be guided by who has the most pros or the least cons. This comparison on paper will make you think consciously about what each woman has to offer so that you have more information to make a final choice.
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2. Consult with friends or family
The choice for one of the two women is one that you have to make yourself. But that does not mean that you cannot ask for input from others. On the contrary, the people who know you well can protect you from mistakes and help you make the right choice. In many cases, others see it differently than you see it and that is extremely valuable when making choices. They give you a different perspective. Especially if your friends or family have already met both women, this is a useful helpline when making the difficult choice.
3. Don’t procrastinate
It is difficult to tell one of the two women that you want to continue with someone else. In the end, postponing the decision is not an option either. The longer you continue, the harder it becomes. Not only for you, but also for the women in question. You can hardly divide your feelings, time and attention between two women. It is a half-hearted approach that does not benefit anyone.
Dating two women may be a cool thing to tell your friends, but that’s the only upside to postponing the decision. Be a man, make the hard choices in life and accept the consequences.
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4. Distinguish between lust and love
Attractiveness and sex appeal are different from love. When you date two women, one is probably a bit more attractive than the other. This does not necessarily mean that this is the best choice for you. Perhaps the less attractive woman suits you much better. Looks often get too much priority while the invisible qualities are much more important when you are looking for someone for a relationship .
As men, we often make the wrong choice when we let ourselves be guided by lust. What we see is sometimes stronger than what we feel. This is how you can make the wrong choice based on sexual desire. However, remember that what your eye wants is not the same as what you need in a partner. Do not forget this difference when making your choice. The list of pros and cons from earlier gives you a good idea to distinguish between lust and love.
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5. Pay attention to your feelings after sex
In the period in which you get to know each other, sexual desire builds up. This desire can cloud the view of the relationship. Before you have sex with a woman, your thoughts are too focused on the sexual contact, while women think more clearly before the bed is shared. After sex, however, it is the other way around and men can suddenly think clearly and women lose control of their feelings more quickly.
Every man knows the feeling after an orgasm when everything suddenly became clear; “This is not going to work out between us”. Only when you have had sex with both women, you will have a good idea which of the two suits you best. Please note, this is not a license to justify sex with both women. It is only a way to get clear for yourself what your feelings are for a woman.
6. Think about what makes you happy
It is obvious that you do not want to disappoint either woman. Unfortunately, this is inevitable when you make a choice. Deep down, you may already know who suits you best. Others may not think it is the best choice, but in the end, it is about what you feel. When making a choice, it is all about one thing: which of the two women do you think you will be happiest with?
Is it the attractive career woman without a desire for children or the single mother who wants nothing more than a home-tree-animal? Identify for yourself what makes you happiest and with which woman you are most likely to experience this.
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7. Cut the knot
Whatever you do, don’t lie. You may not have to tell the whole truth when you’re dating two women, but don’t make a big lie out of it. Telling the truth to both women will get you in trouble. But lying will get you in trouble. Also, don’t assume that you’ll be able to date two women and both think they ’re the only one . It’s not a question of if you’ll get caught…it’s when.
Be honest with both of them and make the decision when it is time to make a choice. In most cases, this is after a few dates with both of them, when it is time to continue exclusively with one of them. It may not be an easy choice, but no one ever said love was easy.
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