Break Up with an App or Message? 31 Messages, Tips and Examples

Whether you’ve only had a few dates or have been in a relationship for years, breaking up is never fun. It gets even more annoying when someone can’t muster the courage to tell you in person and instead opts for a hands-off approach, such as breaking up with them through apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, or any other chat app. While it’s always better than disappearing off the face of the earth without a word , it feels extra painful when someone dumps you via a simple text.

Many consider this behavior disrespectful and a cowardly way to break up with someone. It deprives you of the opportunity to really talk to each other about what went wrong in the relationship. Moreover, the victim continues to torment himself by reading that annoying message over and over again, like a voluntary torture. As immature as it may seem, it still happens quite often.

When is it okay?

That said, there are times when it’s just more practical to do it via an app. Imagine this: you have just been humiliated and abandoned at a party, you have discovered that your partner has cheated on you, or you have only been on two dates while the other person lives 200 kilometers away. These are situations where no one will blame you if you decide to break up over text.

It may not be the most elegant way to end a relationship, but sometimes the other person simply doesn’t deserve you wasting any more of your precious time. So, if you find yourself in one of these situations, let’s look at some helpful tips and examples of messages you can send. It will help you tackle this difficult task with a little more ease and understanding.

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The introduction

You’re about to send a tricky message, but rest assured, we’re going to handle it with style. The fact is that a well-executed ‘breakout text’ consists of an introduction, a reason and a conclusion. Here we show you some examples of sentences that you can use to spice up your introduction.

• “Jeremy, it’s time for me to say goodbye”
• “Hi Amber, I hope I’m not disturbing you. There’s something bothering me that I need to share with you now”
• “Hey Jeremy, it might be a bit unexpected. But I have to tell you this”
• “Amber, the last few weeks have been a lot of fun.”
• “Jeremy, I would have liked to tell you this in person, but that’s not possible right now.”
• “Amber, this may come as a surprise, but I have to be honest with you.”
• “Hey Jeremy, I really can’t do this anymore”

The reason

In this part of the post we’ll get straight to the point. You have decided to tie the knot and that deserves a good explanation. Your message probably came as a complete surprise to the other person, and they are probably left with doubts in their minds right now. Clearly stating the reason for breaking up will avoid a lot of confusing “why” questions. It is more honest to tell what is really bothering you.

The more open you are, the better it is for both. No matter what happened between you, the other person at least deserves a reason. This is crucial if you want to say goodbye properly to someone you don’t necessarily have an argument with.

• “Because of what has happened between us lately, I have lost myself. I want to get back to myself, a version that was once happy.”
• “Honestly, I still have feelings for my ex. I wish I was over my ex, but I’m not.”
• “My feelings for you have changed. I don’t love you anymore.”
• “The fact that you still want to maintain contact with your ex is a bridge too far for me. I would have liked to discuss this path with you, but time and time again I am disappointed by your lies.”
• “I can’t stand it anymore how you destroy yourself with [drugs|alcohol] use. As much as I love you, it ends for me with this message.”
• “You’ve humiliated me enough. I’m done being treated like this.”
• “You betrayed my trust by secretly meeting up with your bad friends. There is no need to deny. I stand by my decision to leave you.”
• “I found out you cheated on me. This is the final straw for me.”
• “Over the past few months I have realized that I am not as happy as I used to be. I want to feel like I did back then, happy.”
• “Our date was very nice, but I don’t feel the connection . I wish it were different, but I can’t make it more than this.”

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The closing

With the introduction and rationale out of the way, let’s now talk about that all-important ending. After all, you want to make it clear that you are serious about it. It’s tempting to make the suggestion to ” stay friends ,” but honestly, and let’s face it, that rarely happens in the real world.

It may sound like a way to soften the blow, but it rarely provides real comfort. What you really want is an immediate closure stating that you want to end contact. Let’s see how you can do that in a respectful way:

• “I hope you respect my wishes and never contact me again”
• “It was nice knowing you, but I would appreciate if we don’t talk anymore”
• “This is the last you’ll hear from me. Bye”
• “Please delete my number”
• “I don’t need an apology or a response. I’d rather you leave me alone”
• “I never want to speak to you again”
• “Thank you for the time together, but this is the end for me”
• “Bye. I mean it”
• “Thanks for the memories, but that’s the way it is”
• “I wish you much success in the future!”
• “I wish you all the best and I mean that. Bye”
• “You deserve someone who has more feelings for you than I do”
• “It was nice to meet you, but it’s not enough for me. Good luck”

Which of these sentences suits your situation? That is something only you can judge. No two break-ups are the same. Although many situations may be somewhat similar, each situation is ultimately unique. So for each situation you actually need a different text to properly break up or to end contact.

No matter how you feel or what happened, sometimes a text message is the most appropriate way to do it. It could be that you don’t feel safe saying it in person, that you’ve been cheated on and just don’t want to, or that you’ve only been on two dates. In those cases, a simple app can be the perfect way to communicate it. Of course you can choose to tell it in person. But if you decide to do it in writing or digitally, you now at least know what to send.

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Why break up with by app or message?

There are several reasons why you might choose to break up with an app or message. These are some of those reasons.

1. Safety Considerations

If you are in a situation where you fear for your physical or emotional safety, an app message is the best choice. In these cases it is better to do it via message. An app or message gives you space to keep a safe distance. And that’s the best way to protect yourself.

2. Long distance relationship

In a long-distance relationship it can often be difficult to meet in person. A message can then be the most practical way to share the news, without the extra effort of traveling to the other person. Perhaps it is better to do it via video calling. But a message is also possible.

3. Avoidance of confrontation

Sometimes you just want to avoid the emotional rollercoaster of a face-to-face confrontation. A message allows you to share your thoughts quietly. Sometimes you also feel more comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings through the written word. Appen gives you time to think and formulate your message carefully.

4. Time saving

In busy times, a message can be an efficient way to do it. Sometimes it’s the only choice because your schedule doesn’t allow you to do it in person. It will save both of you valuable time that you would otherwise spend meeting in person.

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5. Immediate communication

There are times when you need to clarify quickly, and a message provides the opportunity for direct communication without delay. Have you found out that your partner has cheated on you and you never want to see this person again? An app or message is the fastest.

6. Ending an informal relationship

In less formal relationships or early in the dating phase, a message can be an appropriate way to end things. Sometimes an in-person meeting is simply not necessary. It keeps everything clear and direct.

7. Communication barriers

If there are language or communication barriers, a personal conversation can be difficult. A message can be the best way to convey the message so that it is understood correctly.

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8. Fear of the other person’s reaction

Sometimes the fear of the other person’s reaction makes it difficult to do it in person. How will your future ex react if you tell him you want to leave the relationship? A message puts you in control of the situation.

Ultimately, you have to keep in mind that breaking up via a message is often not appreciated. It is considered less respectful than meeting in person. Therefore, think carefully about whether you want to do it this way.

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