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Relationships change. Where you were madly in love with each other in the beginning, there is a good chance that after a few months or a few years you will have come down from this pink cloud. Is your relationship ready for a refresh? Do you want a better relationship? Then you will have to work for it. A successful relationship often does not happen by itself. You will have to put in the work and fight for it together to make it work.
When you live together day in day out, there is a big chance that irritations will creep in from time to time. The sparkle is gone and even though you love each other dearly, your relationship is no longer what it used to be. Do you want to improve your relationship? Here are some tips for a better relationship, as well as concrete tips and 3 interesting books to read.
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How does your relationship improve?
Your relationship can be improved in several ways. The simplest way is to solve the existing problems or figure out which relationship issues are worth addressing.
For example, in a long-term relationship you can get into a rut , where you miss the excitement in your relationship. There can also be something wrong with your communication and understanding each other. Problems can also arise when it comes to jealousy , making time for each other, honesty and feeling comfortable with each other.
So if you want to improve your relationship, it is first of all very important to find out what exactly is wrong at the moment. You will need a different approach to a problem in communication than to get out of a rut. But besides that, there are also some general strategies that improve a relationship.
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8 Tips for a Better Relationship
There are a number of tips and advice that can help you with this. For example, it is important to understand each other better, show more affection and talk well with each other. Below we give 8 tips to improve your relationship.
1. Look for new interests
A relationship often doesn’t just happen. You’ll have to find new ways to keep things fresh and exciting, so you don’t get stuck in a rut. In the beginning of your relationship, you’ll often go on lots of fun, new dates , but after a few months, a routine will start to emerge.
To get out of that rut, it is an idea to look for new interests together. Then you have something that you are both very enthusiastic about. By doing new activities together, you create joint memories and have a shared passion.
There are many examples of activities you can undertake together. How about a dance lesson with your partner, a painting course or start learning a language together. You can also go mountain biking, running or take a cooking course. Doing it together will greatly strengthen your bond.
2. Learn to understand each other better
Communication is extremely important in a relationship. This can sometimes be quite difficult. For example, some couples think they can say anything, while others tend to keep things to themselves. Communication can make or break your relationship. It is very difficult to trust someone who does not communicate properly. This is not just about the words, but also about your body language. Therefore, be aware of it.
Communicating is also not just talking, but listening is also just as important. By listening to each other and trying to understand each other, you will grow closer to each other. This is a very important and positive thing to improve your relationship.
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3. Address your problems
Many couples are too lax in tackling the problems that are at play. People often think that it will solve itself, while it often takes real work to improve it. One of the first things is to make the problems discussable. Only when you talk about your problems together, is there the opportunity to start working on them and provide support. It may turn out that the problems are deeper than you actually thought and then relationship therapy can offer a solution.
4. Create excitement in the bedroom
For a healthy relationship it is also important to have and maintain a healthy sex life. By continuing to try new things, you ensure that you build sexual desires towards your partner. Try to keep it adventurous, go on a discovery and vary it. By getting to know each other better in the bedroom, your relationship will certainly improve. The tension in the bedroom can also help enormously to get out of a rut or routine.
5. Learn to deal with jealousy
One of the most common relationship problems is jealousy. This may be natural in your personality, but it may also be due to your relationship history. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and it will take a lot of time to regain it. It is important to work together to regain trust.
Talk about it, be honest and keep your promises. In addition, make sure that jealousy does not lead to controlling each other. You have to trust that you love each other for your relationship to work.
6. Make time for each other
In the modern world, you are probably extremely busy: a full-time job, socializing with friends, exercising and time for yourself leave you with little time. It can therefore not be easy to create time for each other. But if you want to work on your relationship, it is essential to also create more time for each other. This will give you more time to talk about problems and get through the difficulties of your relationship.
Look at your calendar together to see where you can plan a date night, for example . If necessary, choose a standard day of the week on which you will do something together. It is very important to free up enough time to prevent you from living past each other. Try to make sure that you are really there at these moments. Show affection and do not look at your phone or email with a sideways glance.
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7. Show affection and do sweet things
Commitment and affection are very important in every relationship. Be honest with each other, be involved in each other’s lives and also think about the little things. Doing something kind and thoughtful for your partner can significantly improve your relationship. This makes your partner feel appreciated and, according to research, this is one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy. How about a love note , a massage, a bouquet of flowers, a surprise dinner or a night out?
8. Stay honest with each other and with yourself
The last tip is to remain honest with each other, but also with yourself. It is important to be honest about your feelings, insecurities, expectations and fears. What do you want yourself? How do you see the future for you? Think about this yourself and dare to talk about it openly with your partner.
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3 Books for a Better Relationship
So your relationship is definitely worth investing in. Of course, the above tips are just some of the advice to improve your relationship. But where can you learn more about improving your relationship? Numerous books have been written about love, relationships and ways to solve relationship problems. Below we provide a brief summary of three of these relationship books .
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
A winged statement is the title of this book in Dutch. The book has sold millions of copies since its publication. This book is about the differences between men and women, which is also reflected in the metaphor.
In this book, author John Gray flawlessly explains the differences between how men and women think, feel, communicate and love. By understanding that you are very different, you can solve a lot of relationship problems. You will find many situations in the book recognizable and a lot of annoyances can be solved with this.
John Gray, the author, has been working in the field of relationships for over 35 years. He is an expert when it comes to personal development, relationships and communication. The goal of his books is for men and women to understand each other better.
The five love languages
According to Gary Chapman, the author of the book, there are different ways in which people express their love. Every person has a first love language; the way in which he or she understands love the most. According to Chapman, the 5 ways in which people express love are: by giving time, by words of encouragement, by gifts, by helpfulness and by physical touch.
For example, a man wants to be supported in the choices he makes, but his wife thinks that a fatty meal will make him happy. A woman wants to feel attention and affection, but the man thinks that if he works more and earns more, he has more to offer her. For example, two partners speak a love language that the other does not understand.
The book makes it clear that your partner sometimes speaks a different language that you do not understand. By recognizing the love language and applying it in practice, your relationship can be significantly improved.
Hold me
Everyone needs love, support and connection. The book Hold Me Tight was written by Dr. Sue Johnson. The book is intended for relationship therapists and couples who want to work on their relationship. Dr. Sue Johnson is the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy , which you can read more about in this book.
It is a groundbreaking way to create successful, close relationships. EFT is a form of relationship therapy, where love is central instead of rules of communication. This book is intended as a self-help book, to better understand where things go wrong in the relationship and how to improve it.
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