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The pain after a breakup is terrible. When a relationship ends , it is normal to feel sad, angry, or emotionally broken. There is probably a rollercoaster of emotions running through your body and you no longer know how to proceed with your life.
How you react to it differs per person. Where one person has another relationship in no time, the other builds a wall. And the best method to pick yourself up after a relationship breakup also differs per person. However, there are a number of tips that can help you to pick up your life again after the breakup.
Life after a breakup
After a breakup, chances are you have a broken heart and feel a lot of emotions. Maybe you are hurt, angry, sad or have an enormous feeling of helplessness. You do not know what to do to process the grief and at the same time get your life back on track. Because after a breakup there is also a mourning period. You feel the loss of the relationship and have an uncertain view of the future. What should you do now?
First of all, it is very important to give yourself time. The pain does not go away from one day to the next and you cannot expect this of yourself. There are, however, a number of tips to process the grief a little faster and to be happy about the future again. How do you do that? We will tell you below.
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The process of coping with grief
It is completely normal to feel sad after a breakup. After all, it is quite a process to get over heartbreak . You do not do it lightly, because the process is very similar to the grieving process. Here are the 5 important steps in the process of getting over heartbreak.
1. Accept the pain
The first step in dealing with heartbreak is accepting the pain. Don’t try to push it away, but feel the pain. Cry if you want to cry and don’t try to run away from these feelings. It is a crucial part of the grieving process and in order to move on with your life you will first have to give these feelings a place.
2. Organize your thoughts
After the end of a relationship, your mind will probably be full of thoughts. You may have unanswered questions, doubt whether you made the right choice, or think about ways in which you could have done things differently. Objective observations and subjective thoughts are mixed up, which will make you feel tired. It is therefore important to try to organize these thoughts.
Write them down, meditate, make lists or keep a journal. If you don’t do this, the thoughts can pile up into an overwhelming chaos. But by organizing your thoughts, a clear picture emerges and you can focus on a happy future.
“Breaking up is like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream.” – Anoniem
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3. Open yourself up
As difficult as it is, it is important to open yourself up to others. You cannot process heartbreak alone, but you need the help of good friends and family. Talk to a trusted person to be able to give your emotions a place. Tell what you are thinking about, what is going on in your mind, how intense the emotions overtake you at the strangest moments: by sharing it, you make it easier for yourself.
4. Focus on the future
It is important not to dwell on the past. You can keep worrying about everything that happened, but you can’t change that anymore. Focus on the future, your dreams and goals. You have plenty of new opportunities, open the door to your heart and don’t be afraid of getting hurt again. It’s part of life. Discover new hobbies, passions and gain new experiences to fill the void in your heart with new happiness.
5. Let the past rest
The people who remain unhappy the longest after a breakup spend the longest time thinking about the past. They keep thinking about what happened, reminiscing (good and bad) and romanticizing the relationship. But enough is enough: the past is the past. Learn from the positive and negative experiences in the past and apply them to your new future. What’s done is done: nothing can change history. Let go of the past and embrace your future.
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5 tips to become happy again
You naturally want to speed up this processing process. Not so much because you want to forget your ex , but mainly because you want to feel good again. About your life, with yourself. You don’t want to spend months mourning, but want to be happy again. These are some good tips for getting your life back on track after a breakup.
1. Live in the here and now
Important steps in the grieving process are putting the past to rest and focusing on the future. This is an important tip to become happy again. Live in the here and now and don’t get stuck in possible scenarios. This wastes valuable energy that could be better spent on something else. Therefore, focus on the here in now, on the beautiful things in life and be curious about the possibilities that the future has in store for you.
2. Remove memories of your ex
If you are constantly reminded of your ex, it will be harder to move on with your life. Get rid of things that remind you of your ex, unfollow them on social media , and stop looking at old photos on your phone. This will help you focus on the future and not keep reminiscing.
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3. Take care of yourself
To get your life back on track, it is important to take good care of yourself. Eat healthy, cook delicious food for yourself and pay attention to the food you eat. This will give you more resistance and energy, which will make you feel better. Exercise a lot and treat yourself. Buy new clothes, an educational book and treat yourself to nice things.
4. Discover new hobbies
After a breakup, you probably have a lot of time on your hands. You can spend this time discovering new things. Take a course, go to a museum, visit a nice city or spend more time with friends. These new experiences make you feel better about yourself and make you happier with your life.
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5. Start meditation
Do you find it difficult to focus on the here and now? Then meditation or mindfulness can help you. Enjoy the moment more consciously, meditate and try yoga to become more relaxed.
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