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Nobody likes to feel lonely and the temptation to fall in love again right after a breakup is not easy to resist. Those who can’t resist the temptation jump from relationship to relationship, without taking time for themselves and getting everything in order. For some it works, but more often it doesn’t.
Experts agree that it is therefore not smart to start dating again immediately after a broken relationship. By rushing from one relationship to the next, you sabotage your new relationship before it has a chance to blossom into something beautiful. How long should you wait until it can happen again?
How soon will I be ready?
The truth is, there is no standard answer to the question of how long you should wait. It’s different for everyone. It would be easy to read this article and say you should wait X months, but that’s not how it works. The length of your relationship, what happened, how unhappy you were , and how you feel after the relationship: these all determine how quickly you’ll be ready to date again after a relationship.
When it comes to your feelings, no situation is the same. It is not only important to give yourself time to recover from the breakup, but also to give your new relationship a real chance.
It is better to be alone than to be in bad company – George Washington
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You are not the same anymore
Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows that it changes you. You learn positive things about yourself, but you also have to leave certain interests behind to keep the relationship healthy. When you are single again, life is not the same as before; you have changed. Give yourself the chance to discover yourself after the relationship . The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself.
After a relationship, it takes time to reflect on what exactly happened. A relationship can be an emotional rollercoaster that you need to recover from. Think about your role in the relationship and identify what was done wrong. This analysis of your broken relationship will prepare you for a healthy relationship in the future. It can also help you leave all negative thoughts about the opposite sex behind.

Am I ready?
Whether you are ready depends on how you feel. And especially on how happy you are. If you feel like you need a partner to feel happy, then you are not ready. A breakup is never easy and the logical consequence is that you want to get rid of this pain as soon as possible, but a new relationship is rarely the solution.
Fill the void with hobbies, interests, passions, friends, family, sports and all the other things that make you happy, without starting a new relationship. If you are happy on your own but open to what is to come, then you are ready.
What about the ex?
An important sign to realize whether you are ready or not is your thoughts about your ex-partner. Do you still think about your ex every day or hardly at all? If you still think about your ex often, then the time has not yet come to start dating again. The same goes for the situation in which you still compare others to your ex-partner.
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Can you feel it?
You are the one who can “feel” whether you are ready or not. Do you feel like you want to fill a void? Then you are not ready yet. This is only aimed at restoring a temporary situation by using someone else. The situation can only be restored by waiting for the void to disappear. This takes time.
Give yourself this time, even if it takes longer than you want. Only then will you be ready to start over with someone else.
Dating after a relationship is not easy. It is an uncertain time in which you may be confronted with your relationship past too much in the beginning. While others say that you should move on, you feel that you are not ready for it yet. There is no one who can give you better advice than yourself. If you “feel” that you are ready, then that is often the case.
5 things you need to know
If you want to date after a long relationship, you will soon find that the game has changed. Suddenly there are numerous dating apps that make it easier than ever to meet someone. It seems like a gift from heaven, but in practice it is a nightmare. Dating apps cause the well-known paradox of choice ; with too much choice you become overwhelmed 1 . This is especially the case if you are just getting back on the market.
You thought you would never have to date again, but suddenly you find yourself in the same situation as years ago. It is no wonder that you find it difficult to get started. Luckily, we have a few tips for you. Here are five things you need to know.
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1. You are not alone
The number of singles in the Netherlands varies every day. Some singles find love and start a relationship, while others become single again after a breakup. That’s just how life works.
You are not alone in having to rediscover the dating world after a long time away. The process of breaking up can be difficult, but in the end, you are no longer in an unhappy relationship and are free to do what you want again.
2. There is someone for you
The emotional rollercoaster of a bad breakup can leave your self-confidence in tatters. You no longer feel attractive and feel like no one will ever be interested in you again. These feelings are the result of a period of unhappiness. In reality, there are many singles out there just waiting for someone like you to sign up for a dating app. Don’t worry about no one liking you; there is always someone out there who is very interested in you.
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3. Leave the past behind
The danger of dating after a long relationship is that you start comparing potential candidates to your ex. This is not so strange if you have spent years with the same person. However, you have to realize that no two people are the same. Do not compare the new people you meet to your ex and leave them out of your dating experience. Do not think about them or talk about them.
Think of dating after a long relationship as a clean slate. This means not talking about your ex, not talking about your past and only looking to the future.
4. Take your time
It is tempting to immediately look for a new partner after a breakup, but that is not wise. It is essential to take time after a long relationship to process everything. You may think you are ready, but in practice it often works very differently. You do not want to start dating again too soon and then quickly find out that you are not emotionally ready.
Take your time not only to start dating again, but also to make initial contacts. There is no need to meet the first person you meet. Online dating has become a game of eliminating the unsuitable candidates to leave the best candidate. Avoid rushing things and take your time to get to know the other person .
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5. Online is where you need to be
The time when you were matched with a colleague of a friend or girlfriend is as good as over. It still happens, but to a lesser extent than years ago. It is no longer necessary due to the rise of dating apps. Online is where dating happens; no matter how old you are and what you are looking for.
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