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Do you also notice that you often adapt to the wishes of the people around you? Because it is easier to adapt than to stand up for yourself and say what you want.
It is often about simple things like agreeing with someone’s choice of restaurant, while you yourself do not really like it. Or watching a movie that you yourself do not think is that nice. People who please find it easier to always keep the peace and sacrifice a part of themselves in doing so.
The problem with constantly adjusting yourself is that you manoeuvre yourself into situations that do not suit you. In this way, you let your own self down when making choices. Although it seems as if pleasers avoid unpleasant feelings, in this way those unpleasant feelings bounce back twice as hard. Because depressive feelings, nervousness, a sad feeling and nagging headaches are common among pleasers.
Therefore, do not always try to adapt yourself to someone else. Because you will not become happier from that constant adapting. It is not easy to break a habit of years, it is hard work to get through uncomfortable situations. But the result will bring you more happiness. And when you are happy, you can also give others a piece of happiness.
Below you will find 4 ways to not always adapt to others.
1. Recognize when you are sacrificing yourself
Of course we have to sacrifice ourselves sometimes, but it is important that we are aware of when and why we sacrifice ourselves. For example, if you always choose the least comfortable place when you are in a restaurant or bar with your partner or friends, then it is good to be aware of that. Next time, sit in that beautiful place with that beautiful view! The point is, think about yourself. Go for it! And be alert to your behavior and especially to your feeling when you have not sacrificed yourself for someone else. This positive feeling in your body shows you that you have done well. Listen to this feeling, this becomes your compass and this is what makes you authentic.
2. Make a list of your sacrifices
Can you think of 5 ways in which you have sacrificed yourself for someone else in the past? So that the other person felt safe, happy or appreciated? Try to look closely at those moments and try to feel what you felt then. The more you delve into your behavior, the more you will learn about it. Perhaps there is a pattern to your sacrifices. This will help you not to let yourself be sacrificed so easily in the future.
3. Take a moment to notice the signals your body gives you when you make choices
The positive feeling you get when you put your wishes before those of someone else is a good indication that you are listening to your heart. Use this feeling to experiment with new situations that you will encounter in the future. When you listen to your body and your heart you will make the right decisions. It may not be easy, but it is actually quite simple, listen to your feelings.
4. Realize that other people notice your change
When you break your patterns and take better care of yourself, you will notice that others treat you differently. When you stand up for yourself, you speak from your heart, people will respect that. You will notice that others will not take advantage of your kindness as quickly. This does not mean that you are selfish or arrogant. No! This means that you have respect for yourself and love yourself. This will bring you more peace and happiness in the future.