Good example compliments for children

In this article, you will find good example compliments for children, which will help your child’s self-confidence grow. We want our children to feel good about themselves and their achievements. Many parents think that giving lots of compliments is the best way to increase their child’s self-confidence. But is that really true? Research shows that compliments given in the wrong way can actually be counterproductive. In this article, you will read why some compliments can be harmful and get practical examples of how to give compliments so that your child’s self-confidence does grow.

Why are some compliments harmful to children?

We learn that it is important to give your child lots of compliments. And this seems innocent, but it can have negative effects on your child. Your child can become dependent on external confirmation and this can actually decrease your child’s motivation and make your child insecure . Instead of your child being proud of his or her own efforts, your child can start doing his or her best for the approval of others. Your child can also become fearful of failure from compliments aimed at the person ( “You are smart” ); your child gets the feeling that he or she has to live up to this image. 

What are the dangers of over-complimenting?: 

• Dependence on external validation: Children who are constantly praised learn to link their worth to the opinions of others.
• Reduced Effort: Excessive praise can make your child less likely to put forth effort. Your child expects praise without having to work hard. 
• Fear of Failure: If your child only receives praise for success, he or she may become afraid of failure and therefore avoid new challenges. 

Many compliments that parents give their child(ren) these days are well-intentioned, but lead to insecurity and fear of failure. Make sure you know how to give good compliments, so that your child’s self-confidence does grow.

Good example compliments for children

Below you will find sample compliments for children that will help build your child’s self-confidence and create a positive self-image. 

Describe the stake

Focus on the process rather than the outcome. For example: “You really worked hard on that project!” or “I love how you never give up, even when things get tough” .

Instead of saying “Good job!” you can say, “I can see you really tried hard to finish this, even though it was hard.”

Instead of saying “You’re so smart!” you could say “You found a clever way to solve that problem . ”

Ask questions

Help your child reflect on their efforts by asking questions such as: “What was the hardest part for you and how did you solve it?” This encourages your child to think about their own achievements. This helps develop internal motivation.

Be specific

Give specific feedback instead of general compliments. So instead of “Good job!” say, “You really have an eye for detail, I could see that in how neatly you colored within the lines.”

Replace “Good job” with “Success”!

In practice, there is not always room to describe in detail what your child did well, so a “Good job!” seems easy and quick. Instead, you can better say: “You did it!” . That shows that your child made an effort and there is no judgment attached to it. 

Focus on fun and not on the result

Focus on what your child enjoys about an activity. So don’t focus on the reward or praise your child receives. If your child has painted, instead of saying “That’s beautiful,” say “What did you enjoy most about painting that picture?”

Enjoy the moment

Teach your child to be in the moment and enjoy the activity and the process, without worrying about the end result. Often we tend to say during an activity, “That’s going well” or “That’s going to be beautiful .” But instead say, “This is fun to do, isn’t it!”

Sample compliments for children on homework

Instead of saying, “Good job!” after completing homework, ask, “What did you learn from this assignment?”

Sample compliments for children in sports

Instead of “You’re the best!” you could say, “I saw how hard you trained and it really helped.” 

After a game, don’t ask your child if he won, but ask: “Did you play well?” or “What was the best part of today’s game? “

It is important to be intentional about how you encourage and support your child. By focusing on effort, self-reflection and internal motivation, you help your child build self-confidence, which makes them independent of external validation. Try out the tips and example compliments for children and watch your child grow in a confident way.