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Since the advent of Tinder , dating apps and social media, romance often seems to only exist in romantic movies. Because of this, the player has also become a thing of the past, but now you will have to watch out for the softboy. This type of boy seems very gentle, romantic and intelligent, but is also only looking for sex.
But how do you know exactly if he is a softboy? Below we will tell you more about what a softboy is, the difference with the fuckboy and give you a number of signs to quickly recognize a softboy.
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What is a softboy?
First of all, it is of course important to know what type a softboy is. According to the Urban Dictionary, a softboy is described as a fuckboy, only without the arrogant attitude. This type of man is a lot more emotional than his predecessor.
He has ‘real’ feelings for you, almost always answers your messages and listens to your problems. He seems to be a great good guy , is very attentive and romantic, but this is just an illusion. Because just like the fuckboy, the softboy is only interested in one thing: sex. So you will not get a steady relationship with a softboy that quickly.
This type of man is always attentive, fulfills all your wishes, but he can also just drop you when he gets tired of you. This behavior can hit extra hard. With a fuckboy you probably expected it, but because the softboy seems so sweet and sensitive, the blow hits extra hard.
The difference between a softboy and the fuckboy
The biggest difference between a softboy and a fuckboy is that a softboy seems very smart, sensitive and attentive. A fuckboy does not have this behavior at all; he mainly behaves very arrogantly. A softboy will listen to your problems, your goals and dreams and seems like a real good boy, where a fuckboy will not even try. Still, this makes a softboy more dangerous than the standard fuckboy.
You don’t expect this ‘good’ guy to just want sex and drop you, but this is what will happen. A real, long-term relationship with this type of guy is simply not in the cards.
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How do you know if your crush is a softboy?
Of course you want to know if the guy you are dating is a real attentive man or if he is secretly a softboy. There are a number of typical statements that you can recognize a softboy by. For example, he will say that he will never hurt you and that he has never been so in love with anyone. Fortunately, these are not the only signs that you can recognize a softboy by. Below we give you 5 more signs that you can notice that you are dating this type of guy.
1. He is very alternative
One of the first signs you can recognize that he is a softboy is because he has a special, alternative taste. For example in movies, music and books. Very often you will never have heard of the bands or movies that he recommends. He is a soft boy, he will listen to alternative indie rock bands instead of the standard top 40 hits. He will also often make it clear to you how original his taste is.
Besides being alternative in his taste in music and movies , he will also tell you that he is an outsider in life. He will say that he does not fit in well with normal people and that he prefers to be alone and think about life. He will try to act like he is not understood, which will quickly make you feel a lot of sympathy for him.
2. He has a good guy attitude
In addition, the softboy will also emphasize very much what a sweet guy he is. He will almost always be a feminist, participate in campaigns against environmental pollution, do volunteer work and be very passionate about equality between the sexes. He may be very philosophical and only talk about the latest environmental documentary on Netflix. These are all ways to make himself seem like a good guy, while in reality he really is not.
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3. He has a sense of superiority
Of course, someone doesn’t necessarily have to be a softboy if he listens to alternative music and is committed to equality and the environment. However, one of the things a softboy will have is that it makes him feel better than everyone else. He will have a huge sense of superiority and will be contemptuous of people who listen to ‘normal’ music or don’t commit to the environment.
He will also very often let you know how much he knows and how intelligent he is. He will tell you about the many literary books he has read and will use every opportunity to show his intelligence. He will also often not be interested in your opinions on these subjects .
4. He is very open about his feelings
Who knows, maybe he wrote a love letter about his feelings for you, or wrote lyrics about you. You will immediately think that he is a very attentive, sweet guy. Of course, it is good for men (and women) to be open about their emotions and to communicate about them. The difference with a softboy, however, is that this type of guy uses these feelings to his own advantage. A softboy will seem a lot more emotionally mature, but this is a way for him to appear attentive and to make you fall madly in love with him.
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5. He’s ‘not ready for a relationship yet’
The softboy will eventually decide to end your relationship . When he is done with you, he will probably quickly drop you. There is a big chance that he does this with a vague excuse. Examples of this are: ‘I need time for myself’, ‘I am not ready for a real relationship yet’. After this, he will no longer respond to your messages and move on to his next victim.
A softboy can be quite difficult to spot, since you would not expect a fuckboy to be hiding behind this nice facade. It can therefore be useful to have a critical girlfriend who looks at the messages objectively. She will not be blinded by his talk and can honestly let you know when she thinks you are dealing with a softboy.
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