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The use of swipe-friendly dating apps has become increasingly popular in recent years. In the Netherlands alone, there are already thousands of people who use dating sites or apps on their smartphones. For them, online dating is an easy and accessible way to meet new people . Simple, fast and relatively safe. Perfect if you don’t meet many people in everyday life or if you have little time due to a busy life.
Anyone reading this will quickly think that online dating is pretty easy. And for a lot of people, online dating works very well. After all, the internet is full of success stories of people who found the love of their life online. But unfortunately, online dating doesn’t work for everyone.
Maybe you’ve tried it yourself, but it never really worked for you. Maybe you’ve been on one date, multiple dates, or no date at all: there are multiple reasons why online dating doesn’t work for you.
The reasons why online dating has not worked for you are listed below, so that you can find out why you have not yet found a nice match on the internet. In addition, we also give a number of tips to make online dating a success.
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Why isn’t it working for me?
Online dating can be a very easy way to find a great match, but it is not for everyone. For example, it can be very confusing, overwhelming due to the large selection and create uncertainty. There can therefore be a large number of reasons why online dating does not work for you. Below we discuss the most common reasons why online dating does not work.
1. Too much choice
One of the main reasons why online dating can be less effective for you is because you simply have too many choices. Various studies have shown that having too many choices can lead to stress . You are afraid of choosing the wrong one, which means you don’t make a choice. Because there are so many people on dating sites, you always have the unconscious fear that you are not choosing the right person. At some point, you end up in a paradox of choosing, where the right choice no longer seems to exist.
2. Unrealistic expectations
A second reason why online dating may not work for you is because you (unconsciously) create unrealistic expectations about a potential partner. This can also be because there are so many beautiful choices. Because of this large choice, you want to find the very best partner. You are much less quickly satisfied and are waiting for your perfect dream man or woman to come along.
You expect that you can find the ideal person on online dating who meets all your wishes and requirements. But then you try it and you find out that all the people on dating sites are also ‘just’ people. And just like in real life, they can’t meet all your wishes. So try not to be too critical, but go on a date with an open mind. Who knows, someone might surprise you and turn out to be the perfect match for you, while you didn’t think so at first.
The sky-high expectations can also arise because we form an illusionary image of someone. Dating sites only show the best and often edited photos and everyone puts their best foot forward. You then get an enormously positive image of someone, before you have even met this person in real life. All these perceptions pile up, which creates unrealistically high expectations that no one can actually meet.
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3. You don’t have a good profile
One of the biggest reasons why you haven’t been successful with online dating can be because you haven’t written a good profile. For example, if you’re active on a dating site for highly educated people , you’re expected to write a good profile text. Potential matches aren’t waiting for someone with a simple blah-blah text full of spelling mistakes.
Therefore, make sure you have a nice, spontaneous text that describes who you are. In addition, it is also important to choose a nice profile picture . Choose a recent, cheerful photo, to increase the chance of a nice match.
4. You don’t open up
Maybe you started online dating because you think you are ready for a partner. But are you really ready for it? Through online dating you will also have to open yourself up to others. You will achieve very little with superficiality.
Not opening up to online dating can also be because you are ashamed of doing it. You often hear that people are a bit ashamed of having gotten into a relationship through online dating. However, this shame is completely unjustified, since millions of people around the world use this way of dating.
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5. You’re using the wrong dating site
If you have not been able to find a partner through online dating, one of the reasons may be that you have registered with the wrong dating site. There are dozens or even hundreds of them that want to make you a member. This can also cause stress when choosing a dating site itself.
Therefore, try to read up on the different dating sites in advance . Some are for a specific target group such as a certain age category, for serious relationships, for short-term relationships or for higher educated people. Which type of dating site suits you? And what kind of person are you looking for?
For example, are you looking for a serious relationship for the long term? Then you will often be better off choosing a professional dating site such as Parship , instead of an app such as Tinder .
6. You are too shy
If you are very shy, there is also a big chance that online dating will not work for you. If you are the type that waits for someone to send you a message, then you will often have to wait a long time. With online dating it is very important that you also show initiative yourself. The offer is so big on dating sites, that you have to do your best to stand out and stand out from the crowd.
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Tips for making online dating a success
Do you still want to give online dating a chance and try to find a nice match? Then there are a number of tips that can help you. First of all, it is extremely important to pay attention to writing your profile text. Spend more time on it than you would like. Write from your own vulnerability, about yourself and your interests. Only in this way can you find someone who really suits you.
In addition, it is also important not to have too high expectations. Not of online dating in general, but also of the people you meet. Do not immediately expect a magical date with your dream man or woman. Expect a bad date and hope for a click. Try to go into it with an open mind and let everything come to you. Show initiative, go on dates, meet new people and who knows, you might eventually (but hopefully very soon) meet the one.
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