Share This Article
In March of last year, when the coronavirus paralyzed society, the love lives of singles also came to a standstill. For many, it was a strange sensation. No more meeting up with friends, one and a half meters of distance and closed catering establishments. And that happened at just the wrong time, because they expected to meet their life partner in 2020 – and perhaps even start a family. When the coronavirus reached Dutch soil, the plans of singles began to crumble.
Almost a year has passed and things haven’t gotten much better. Dating is even harder than it was in 2020 and if we could, we would all like to hibernate – until we can live and date “normally” again. But although it seems almost impossible now, there will come a time when the world will open up again. The time when we say goodbye to the measures and can enjoy the things we love again.
For singles, this also means a return to the beloved and hated world of dating. And since everyone is out of shape by now, this can be quite a challenge. The thought of starting to date again is terrifying when you feel like you can’t do it anymore. There’s even a name for it: Fear Of Dating Again , also abbreviated as FODA.
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
What is FODA?
FODA stands for the fear of dating again. While this fear can also apply after a divorce, all singles can now suffer from it. No wonder, after everyone has spent a year at home and hardly met up with other singles. Talking to others, chatting and video calling via the internet is very different from the real thing. There are even studies that show that – as a result of the pandemic – we are no longer so good at face-to-face conversations.
According to dating app Hinge, FODA is a term we’ll be hearing a lot more of in 2021. Because if we’re being realistic, we’re all a little nervous about getting back into dating. Not just because our seduction skills are a little rusty, but also because of the general fear of exposing ourselves to new people again.
Meeting with or without a face mask on the third date ? Wondering if a hand has been disinfected before you hold hands? Is a kiss with this person a risk to my health? Who knows how difficult it will be to get back to normal.
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
How can you overcome fear?
Fears are there to be overcome? If it’s up to Hinge’s Logan Ury, yes. The dating app’s director of relationship science is offering advice to singles on the fear of dating again. “Months of lockdown have left us all feeling a bit like fish out of water,” Ury tells Metro . “But you have to go for it, you have nothing to lose.”
It’s normal to feel nervous. Your partner is probably feeling the same way. So when you go back on a date, tell them. “That should immediately ease the mood,” says Ury. Clear and open communication is always a great starting point for any relationship. “Sometimes just reminding them that the date isn’t just about you can help calm the nerves,” Logan adds.
“As much as you try to impress your date, you’re also there to see if you really like the other person. So when you feel yourself getting nervous, turn your attention to the other person. See if you can find three things you like about them – hopefully that will help.”
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?