Share This Article
Being picky when looking for a partner is not such a crazy idea. Because there is a chance that you will spend a long period of your life with your new partner. However, there is a difference between being picky so that you can avoid bad partners and being picky so that you will never be taken out of the single life. Because if you are too picky, you may end up alone.
Being picky is also a form of self-protection. While you may really want a relationship, the feelings that come with intimacy can make you wary of revealing yourself too quickly, which can lead to extreme pickiness. Also, having too many options , especially in the online dating world, can ultimately backfire. And that can lead to extreme pickiness. But how do you know if you’re being too picky?
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
When are you picky?
If you are looking for a new partner, it is logical that you are picky. It is also likely that when you are looking for a date, that you have a kind of checklist that you want to tick off. A good conversation , an equal sense of humor, and of course your partner must also look good: these are all criteria that your new partner must meet.
However, it is important that you are not too selective in your search. You can set the bar unrealistically high and reject people who are just really nice. Nobody is perfect and that is why you sometimes have to compromise. And let’s be honest: if someone were to judge you, you would not come out perfect either.
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
7 Signs You’re Too Picky
To save you from this mistake, we have 7 signs that you are really too picky. If you are too picky, you will probably recognize yourself in the following signals:
1. You tend to be single most of the time
Because almost no one can live up to your sky-high standards, you tend to spend a lot of time alone instead of getting into a relationship. But you are not alone in this. Many people struggle with the same issue and ultimately prefer to remain single than to share a relationship with someone they are not fully convinced of.
2. You focus on the little things
Whether it’s superficial preferences like hair color or the types of movies someone likes, you focus too much on the little things that you don’t like . In fact, they’re the things you’d even change in a potential partner. Even though you know deep down that these aren’t the crucial qualities that make or break relationships, you struggle to accept them. In fact, you’re so oversensitive that you turn down dates because of them.
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
3. You find something you don’t like about everyone
And this basically means eliminating potential partners after just one meeting, without giving them a fair chance. Your mind is extremely good at looking for small details and finding flaws, big and small, in anyone. You even want to change your friends for their imperfections so that they conform to your ideal. You exaggerate things and transform trivialities into disillusionments. For you, that one reason not to like someone outweighs the 99 reasons to do so.
4. You rarely feel a strong connection
You therefore get bored very quickly on dates. You rarely feel a spark, simply because your standards are too high for others to meet. You expect perfection or at least that the other person comes close to perfection. After a date or introduction, you overanalyze the other person, which immediately flattens them out as a potential partner.
5. You have strict standards that you do not deviate from
You only date people who are your “type.” You have a picture in your head of the perfect person, where you already know exactly what the eyes, nose, and other facial features should look like. Your ideal date should be a kind of replica of the person you have in mind. Having a certain type can actually give you a certain sense of direction, because it tells you what to look for. However, you will have to be a little more flexible in terms of your strict requirements. It is realistic that your date has those beautiful blue eyes, but that he or she does not have the perfect nose.
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
6. You push people away and dump them effortlessly
From a human perspective, you don’t really want to, but you still find that you have very little trouble showing people the door and dumping them. You know that people shouldn’t be treated like dirt, but you still shut people out very quickly. And the more you do that, the easier it becomes to break off contact, to ghost , and the harder it is to get interested in someone. No one ever seems good enough and that gives you, at least in your opinion, free rein to get rid of someone. As if it’s nothing.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
7. You believe that attraction should be instant
You strongly believe that there has to be an instant spark when you first see someone. You expect to be blown away by someone, because that is the only way to make your date perfect. Unfortunately, not every first date is the same as on the silver screen of a Hollywood movie. Attraction can also build up gradually. You can also fall more and more for someone, just as someone can fall for you little by little. Or did you think that every date who sits at your table immediately falls head over heels for you?
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?