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Imagine this: you have arranged to meet a match for a terrace date . You are excited , because after two weeks of exchanging messages it was finally time to meet in person. As you sit down at a table on the still empty terrace, you are called: it is your date who has already taken a seat at another table. “How could you have missed that”, you think. Until it suddenly becomes clear that your match is a midget , or a ‘small person’. Awkward ?
You think, “I wish I had asked about height…” But because you don’t want to be rude, and certainly not superficial, you take a seat and linger longer than you’d like. Although this scenario is made up, singles experience these experiences every week. From matches that are ten years older in real life to minutes of silence during the ‘conversation’; these are typical instances of the misery that is dating.
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The misery called dating
If you think you’re the only one who’s a victim of this recurring date woe, rest assured: it happens to quite a few Dutch singles, according to recent research by dating app Lexa. Last month, the dating app conducted research among 1,040 Dutch singles between the ages of 18 and 49 who are open to dating.
One of the questions the singles were asked to answer was how long they stay on a date. If it’s fun, it makes sense to stay. But if it’s not? How long should you stay? It turns out that many singles stay longer than they actually want to – out of politeness. As many as a third of the respondents do it, while they would have liked to be home long ago.
Why on earth do singles do that? According to the research, they want to give the other person a little longer to make a good impression. At least, that’s what a third of Dutch singles who dated after the lockdown say.
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Top 5 awkward dates
Some dates are ‘not what you’re looking for’, but still fun. Others are not your type, but also not fun. These are the dates that you know at a glance are not going to work out, but you also know that it’s going to be a long afternoon/evening. Sometimes you learn from it, but more often it becomes a funny story to tell your friends with some shame later. The participants in Lexa ‘s research also shared their date woes and based on their experiences this is the Dutch top 5 ‘awkward’ date experiences:
- The other said almost nothing during the date – 20%
- The other only talked about himself – 19%
- The other person looked really different than expected – 18%
- The other physically forced himself on the single – 13%
- The other only talked about his ex – 12%
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What’s not awkward?
Because we all seem to know very well what we don’t want, the participants were also asked about what they do like to see on a first date. What many find most important is that the other person shows interest. More than half (52%) say that showing interest scores exceptionally well on a first date.
What singles also like is to be able to laugh with their date, with 45% of respondents saying that having a sense of humor is a big plus. To make the date complete, without any sense of misery, it helps if their date has a positive attitude (36%) and feels comfortable (34%).
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