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We judge people in a moment. During a spontaneous meeting in a bar, a job interview or a first date: you don’t need more than a second to get a first impression of who you have in front of you. That’s why everyone says that ‘the first impression counts’.
Research shows that these first impressions are generally influenced most by nonverbal communication and body language. For example, in one study, scientists found that clothing, hairstyles, accessories and other aspects of a person’s appearance have a smaller impact on first impressions than body language and nonverbal communication. In other words, what you do with your body and face is more important than how your body and face look.
Research from other scientists supports the idea that facial expressions and body language have the strongest effects on first impressions . For example, they have found that people who express their emotions more strongly in a nonverbal way, such as with facial expressions and body language, are more liked than less expressive people.
Of course, social psychology studies also say that being attractive helps. But being physically attractive is more than just a pretty face. Your body language either decreases or increases that physical attractiveness.
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6 Body Language Turn-Offs
Poor hygiene, for example, is a nonverbal cue that reduces your attractiveness. A nice scent increases your attractiveness. There are many more nonverbal cues that contribute to the first impression you make. And some of those cues can be downright turn-offs on a date. Here are 6 body language turn-offs you want to avoid.
1. Facial expressions
Many of the worst nonverbal signals you can give are part of your facial expressions. An excess of negative facial expressions, such as angry or sad looks and frowning, do not help you make a better impression. Conversely, positive facial impressions do, with the smile being the undisputed number one.
2. Voice sounds
Speaking too loudly, using a whiny tone, or talking nasally (through your nose) can instantly turn others off. Your tone of voice is a nonverbal cue that can turn others off. So are the sounds you make when you’re not speaking, like snorting and clearing your throat. These can all be turn-offs. So it’s not just what comes out of your mouth on a first date, it’s how it comes out.
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3. Eye contact
Too much or too little: Eye contact is a body language problem when you don’t do it in the right amount. Looking away when someone is talking to you shows a lack of interest. Staring at the floor makes you absent. And if you stare at someone, it can be too intense – and even a little creepy .
4. Posture
Crossing your arms, slouching your shoulders, and awkward positioning can all be turn-offs. They can give the impression that you’re trying to keep your distance, protect yourself, and lack confidence. And while you may be engaged in the date, your body is telling you otherwise.
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5. Personal space
A first date is a test. You don’t know how far you can go, because you don’t know each other well yet. So it’s important to think about how close or far away you are from someone. The space between you and your date makes the conversation more intimate or distant. If you break the other person’s intimate zone (0 to 45 cm) too early, it can be a real turn-off.
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6. Touch
An unwanted touch is an immediate turn-off. A kiss, a hug or a hand on the back may seem like the logical next step, but it is not if the other person does not expect and appreciate it. A touch is a powerful gesture with serious consequences if it is unwanted. Too soon, too much is a guarantee for disappointment.
Speaking of touching, touching yourself can also be a turn-off. Constantly touching your face, keeping your hands in your pockets, and wringing your hands are all turn-offs on a date, unless you meet someone who is blinded by love.
A large part of communication is hidden below the surface. What is said, as you have read, is only a small part of communication. Or better said, it is often not about what is said, but what is not said: non-verbal communication. The tip of the iceberg that people sometimes talk about, also applies to body language – as the name suggests, the language we speak with our body.
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