‘First Dates More Nerve-Wracking than Public Speaking and Job Interviews’

Would you rather give a speech in front of 100 people than show up for a first date? Or would you find a dramatic lack of funds less stressful than a first meeting? Guess what : you’re not alone.

First dates are on a whole different level than a normal, first meeting with another human being. What should be a fun experience, is experienced by a large part of the singles as an overwhelming mix of nerves, doubts and fear. But how stressful are these first dates really?

Dating site eHarmony teamed up with Mel Schilling, relationship expert from Married at First Sight, to conduct a study into the stress singles experience on first dates. They surveyed 2,000 people and found that there’s almost nothing more nerve-wracking than a first date. At least for the majority of singles.

The results of the survey show that almost two-thirds of singles (64%) are nervous about their first date. And that’s not even a little bit, because 61% of respondents find a first date more stressful than public speaking. Of all participants, 59% find first dates more stressful than a job interview and 58% find them more nerve-wracking than money problems.

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The stress peak

When the date is visible in the agenda, the nerves slowly start to come. A pounding heart, dry mouth and fear sweat on the back. On average, the anxiety reaches a peak just under 42 hours before the date, according to the research. For 15% of the respondents, the last hour before the first date is the worst.

Where does this sudden stress come from? Nearly half of respondents (47%) cite a lack of self-confidence as the culprit. Meanwhile, fear of rejection (27%), physical appearance (19%) and the feeling of ‘ not being used to dating anymore ‘ (19%) also top the list of stress-inducing concerns.

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Drink for the nerves?

When it comes to battling nervousness , singles opt for a variety of tactics. A third opt for a pre-date ritual such as listening to music (16%) or exercising (8%). Others, however, opt for less healthy alternatives, such as drinking alcohol (8%) or avoiding food (7%).

Since a nervous drink might not be the best option, eHarmony and Mel have teamed up to create ten dating mantras that can give you a boost before a date. They may not completely eliminate your dating anxiety , but if they help in any way, that’s a bonus. And you know what they say about mantras: they work best when you repeat them often.

1. I deserve a loving, committed, playful relationship.
2. I’m ready for love, in all its messy glory.
3. I have let go of my old dating patterns.
4. My past mistakes don’t define me, they strengthen me.
5. Bad dates make great stories.
6. I am worth so much more than a ‘hi, how are you?’
7. Stop painting red flags green.
8. My values ​​come from people I love, they are important.
9. The right person will see my worth.
10. I’m here to find a partner, not a project.

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