Share This Article
A first date should be fun. Everyone agrees on that. You want to get to know each other, but also have a good time. But because it can sometimes be exciting to meet someone for the first time, there is more to it than a ‘normal’ meeting. Because when you are a bit nervous, you might start talking about subjects that you should not talk about on your first date.
Embarrassing statements you’ll regret later, topics that are downright turn-offs, and sentences no one wants to hear on a date: these are the dealbreakers no one wants to get burned by. So if you don’t want to scare your date off right away, don’t start telling them about your problems right away. So what should you talk about on your first date? Basically everything, except these 11 topics.
ALSO READ: How haptotherapy helped me recover from my burnout
1. Traumas from your childhood
Ultimately, you want to share everything with your future partner. But remember that there is a right time and place for everything. For example, a first date is not the right time to share all your childhood traumas. It is off-putting. And you don’t really want to share these personal experiences with a complete stranger.
If you are looking for someone to help you process your traumas, make an appointment with a psychologist. And talk to your date about fun topics and tell him or her the fun things about yourself.
2. Stories about your ex
Of course, you can tell that you have had a few relationships. That is completely normal. But don’t tell too many stories about your ex(es). Don’t mention them by name either. Leave the past behind and focus on the future. If you talk about your ex all evening, you quickly give the impression that you have not yet processed it . And then the chance of a second date is quickly lost. So: forget your ex and make plans for the future with your nice date.
ALSO READ: Overcoming Burnout: How to Rebuild Confidence in Your Recovery Journey
3. Marriage and cohabitation
Perhaps it is wise not to start talking about marriage and living together on the first date. For most people this is a difficult subject anyway. So avoid this subject if you do not know each other well and you do not want to come across as a desperate bachelor looking for true love and a home, tree and pet. Also do not talk too much about any previous marriages and divorces. Focus on the future.
4. Your desire to have children
If you want to have children , you can of course make that known. But on the first date, that is not a suitable topic. Because what if your date is not thinking about children at all? Then you will scare him or her off with this topic, while you may be a great match. Keep your desire to have children to yourself for a while and get to know each other better first. And then, after a few dates, calmly feel out whether that desire is mutual.
ALSO READ: My Journey to Recovery: How I Ultimately Overcame Burnout
5. Don’t talk about work all night
Your work is a big part of your life. And of course you can tell your date what exactly you do. It is also perfectly fine to talk passionately about your work. But remember that you are not looking for a new colleague, but a life partner. So stories about the many meetings, work stress and colleagues are better avoided on your first date. Instead, talk about what keeps you busy in life and more importantly: what your date likes to do.
6. Politics
Politics is a great topic to talk about. At least, if you want to start a discussion to freely philosophize about how things should be better. But if you don’t share the same point of view, your first date can end in a political discussion. And that’s not the romance you were hoping for. So leave politics aside for a while and focus on other things you want to know about your date. You can always have those discussions later.
ALSO READ: 4 Reasons To Indicate Your Limits
7. Sex
Although sex is not taboo and can be a fun topic to talk about, most women find talking about sex on a first date to be awkward and inappropriate. So guys, hold back a bit with your sexual jokes. Keep it civil and first test your date’s waters on this. Many men also find it unattractive when a woman talks too freely about her sexual preferences . Get to know each other in other areas first.
8. Your financial situation
Many men and women find it unattractive when you lay your entire financial situation on the table on a date. Whether you have money problems or are swimming in money: it is best to avoid this topic on your first date. Bragging too much about how much you earn is not sexy. And talking about how hard it is for you financially and how you are trying to make ends meet is also a no-go.
ALSO READ: Why Self-love Starts With Recognizing Your Limits
9. Don’t complain about everything and everyone
Do you know those people who grumble about everything and everyone? In everyday life, you would rather avoid them. So don’t do this yourself on your first date. Grumble that the food is bad, that the service is bad, that your boss is annoying, that your neighbors are making too much noise. Save your grumbling for your best friend and let cheerfulness prevail on your first date. It will also be much more fun for your date to listen to.
10. Your pet
Do you have a dog or a cat? And are you completely in love with them? Great fun of course, but not to tell on your first date. Not everyone finds it an attractive idea to have to share your house and bed with a dog or cat. You should also leave the photos of your sweet four-legged friend behind. If you click, they will get to know each other automatically.
11. Your ideal partner
Do you have a clear picture of what your ideal partner should look like? Don’t tell that to the person you’re with on the first date. It can scare him or her off, because no one can really live up to that perfect ideal image of you. So don’t make your date insecure by presenting an ideal image that he or she can’t identify with. Get to know each other without prejudice and maybe your image of your ideal partner will be completely different.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?