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Online dating has never been more popular. It’s easy to see why, as dating apps are both effective and efficient. Plus, there’s never been a way to meet so many singles in just a few minutes.
While most dating app experiences are seamless and fun, not all dating experiences are. Given the scale of singles dating on dating apps, it would be naive to think that all dates are flawless. Most dates are enjoyable, while some can be dangerous.
Dating people you don’t know is and will always be a risk. No matter how many features dating apps develop to detect scammers and how many precautions you take yourself: it can be unsafe. That’s why we explain what you can do to improve your safety while dating.
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On the dating app
Dating, in any form, can be dangerous. But there are important steps you can take to explore dating apps safely.
1. Create a secure password
Nowadays, you can often quickly log in with Facebook login and other links to social media. But if that is not possible, the dating app asks if you want to register with your email address and password. Of course, it is important to choose a strong password , because access to your dating account also gives access to all personal data that you have entered.
Go for a combination of uppercase, lowercase, numbers, and other characters. Or if you want to go even further, come up with a really long password that you don’t use anywhere else.
2. Create a dating email address
If you’re like most people, you have an email address that includes your first and last name. Since this immediately exposes your identity, it’s a good idea to create a new email address that you use exclusively for dating apps. This way, you can completely isolate your dating email address from your regular email. If there’s ever a data breach on a dating app , your regular email address is safe.
3. Choose a reliable app
When you start dating someone you’ve never met before, you’re taking a risk. It can be risky no matter where you meet. Online dating is the favorite way for millions of people around the world to meet new people. But among those millions of people are people you’d rather avoid. From romance scammers to con artists and criminals, these are the people who give dating apps a bad name—the people you want to avoid.
In order not to fall victim to deception, blackmail or something else, you are well advised to go for a well-known and reliable dating app. In general, we can say that the dating apps that earn the most also spend the most on security measures. It is best to avoid new and unknown apps, because they usually do not have the experience, resources and systems to keep out malicious people.
4. Use new photos for your dating profile
Were you planning on taking your photos from Instagram or Facebook? If you care about your safety, you won’t. That’s why it’s easy to do a reverse image search with Google. If your dating profile has a photo that’s also on your Instagram or Facebook account, it’s easier for someone to find you on social media. Unless you’re comfortable with that, it’s a good idea to take new photos for your dating profile.
5. Avoid matching with ‘suspicious’ profiles
If the person you match with has no bio, no social media profiles, and only one really good photo, all the alarm bells are ringing. It could very well be a fake account – someone pretending to be someone else. And even if it isn’t a fake account, you have to wonder why they haven’t posted more photos.
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6. Don’t link your social media profiles
When you use social media, you are often given the option to link your social media profiles to your dating profile . While it is a great way to show more of yourself, it also has its downsides. When you link your social media profiles to your dating profile, you are giving away too much information about yourself – often before you even match.
During the chat contact
When you’re talking to a potential partner online, safety precautions are probably not the first thing on your mind, understandably. That’s why we remind you not to share too much about yourself, even if someone else might. Because while most interactions are harmless, sharing the wrong information can put you at risk.
7. Keep your identity secret
If you want to stay safe, it is imperative that you keep your personal information secret. This is especially important if you live in a small town and have a name that is quite unique. If your name is so unique that others can easily locate you, use your first name, nickname or another non-recognizable name. The main thing is that others cannot easily look up your home address.
Keep all information about your address, employer, phone number and other personal details secret from the other person at first. And of course: never share your financial details with someone you only know through a dating app.
8. Don’t give out your number too quickly
If you are looking for a suitable date, you will meet many people who will be interested. Because not every contact leads to a date, on the contrary, it is important that you do not share your phone number with everyone. Only give your phone number to the person you actually want to meet.
9. Watch for contradictions
If the person you are talking to first says they have a brother and then two days later flatly denies it, then you know something is wrong. Has there been a lie before? Such imperfections in the other person’s story indicate that you may be being misled. If you notice that the other person is lying about things that no one ever lies about, be extremely cautious.
10. Keep conversations going on the dating site
A common tactic for scammers is to move the conversation to another chat platform, such as WhatsApp or Messenger, as quickly as possible. Even if the other person has a valid reason for wanting to do this – perhaps they don’t log in often or perhaps their subscription is expiring. Whatever the explanation, it’s better to keep your conversations within the dating app for your safety, as these conversations are actively monitored.
Ideally, you should keep the conversation on the dating app until you have met the other person and know that they are the person you saw in their profile pictures. Dating apps have sophisticated programs to detect scammers and fraudsters, chat apps do not perform these checks.
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11. Take your time
Dating is not a race, it is a marathon. So never let yourself be pushed or rushed into meeting someone. Date on your terms and only when you want to. Give yourself time to get to know the other person, because that is the only way to discover if someone is potentially dangerous.
12. Report unwanted behavior
Every dating app offers the option to report a user for unwanted behavior. So do that if you encounter unwanted behavior . Not only for your own safety while dating, but for the safety of others. If you encounter one or more of the following things, the dating app would like you to report it:
- Racist, intimidating, insulting comments
- Unwanted sexual comments
- Requests for financial assistance
- Sending spam messages
- Suspicion that another person is a minor
- Offering products or services
- Suspect it’s a fake profile
During and before the date
Now that you’ve gotten to the point where the first date is in the planning stages, the real work begins. But before you go out unprepared, it’s smart to read the following tips on staying safe.
13. Do some research first
If you’re considering a date, it’s a good time to do some research. Who exactly are you dealing with? Start by searching their name (and last name) on Google. See what results come up when you search for their name, and don’t limit your search to the first page. If they have public social media profiles, check them out. Someone’s online presence may not be a window into their soul, but checking out what they post can give you a glimpse into their personality.
If you can’t find any social media profiles, try an image search. Take a screenshot of a few profile photos and then search for those photos in a search engine, such as Google Images or TinEye .
14. Video chat before meeting in person
Once you’ve found someone you’d like to meet, consider scheduling a video chat with them before you meet in person for the first time. Thanks to the video chat feature on WhatsApp and often built into the dating app itself, you can easily find out if your match is who they say they are in their profile. If they’re very resistant to a video chat or immediately rule it out, that could be a sign that something’s not right.
15. Tell a friend who you are meeting
Even if you don’t like sharing your dating life with your surroundings, it’s the safest choice to do so. At least, when it comes to meeting people you haven’t met before. Take a screenshot of your date’s profile and send it to a friend. Let your friend know where and when you’re having the date.
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16. Keep your friend informed
If you’re going to continue your date somewhere else than you originally planned, let your friends back home know. Text your friend to share the new location. Even if everything goes according to plan and there’s nothing to worry about, it can be helpful to give an update halfway through the date and when you get home.
17. Meet in a public place
Let me make it clear right away: a home date is not safe enough for a first date. Not at your home and not at the other person’s home. Acceptable locations that are safe enough for a first date are the café, restaurant, bar, coffee shop and other places where many people gather. Avoid meetings in remote areas, public parks with lots of woods and other isolated locations.
18. Come with your own transport
In other words, don’t rely on your date for transportation. When you provide your own transportation, you can leave whenever you want. You are not dependent on anyone. You are when you travel with your date.
19. Make sure the battery is fully charged
In case of emergency, you probably immediately grab your phone to call someone. But then your phone has to work. So make sure your phone is fully charged when you leave the house to go to the date location. Consider taking your charger or a power bank with you.
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20. Don’t drink (too much)
There is nothing wrong with having a few drinks on a date. We all do that when we are having a good time. To ensure that it remains a pleasant encounter, it is a good idea to minimize the number of drinks. Try to keep your boundaries in mind and do not drink more just because your date is drinking too. The same goes for drugs, which is certainly not a good idea on a first date (or in general).
21. Trust your instincts
If you feel like something is wrong, it usually is. So trust your instincts and leave the date when you get that feeling. Don’t worry about it being weird or rude. When it comes to your safety, politeness doesn’t matter.
22. Enlist the help of bystanders
If it happens – and let’s hope not – that you feel uncomfortable in a situation, seek help immediately. Start a conversation with a bystander or involve someone else in the situation, such as a bartender or waiter. Even if you think it might be a bit over the top: it’s better to be safe than sorry .
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