8 Tips to Look Beyond Appearance

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. We all know the saying. And it’s all based on a quick assessment. Even quicker than the blink of an eye, because according to research, we only need a few milliseconds to judge someone else. That’s right, that happens before you even have a chance to say anything.

We all know that looks matter. In fact, most people judge others based on their physical appearance alone. A lot of assumptions are made based on your physical appearance—from how trustworthy you are to whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. It reveals things about your health, like your likelihood of developing certain diseases, or even whether you’re successful or not. But that first impression… is just an impression.

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8 tips to look beyond appearance

What most of us don’t understand is how much looks matter in relationships. For most people, it’s hard to ignore looks when judging someone. But looks alone aren’t enough to tell who a person really is. They’re superficial and don’t tell you anything about their character, communication skills, goals, maturity , and sense of humor. So… why not look beyond looks?

While it’s an appealing thought to look beyond what you see, it’s not always easy. After all, your eyes aren’t trained to see what isn’t there. These 8 tips can help you see more of someone than just their appearance.

1. Be open-minded

Everyone has a certain image of a beautiful or handsome person. But have you ever thought about why you find those qualities so attractive? Beauty standards are completely subjective. These standards change depending on your upbringing and culture. And even on a societal level, our definition of beauty is very different today than it was 500 years ago, research shows .

By being open-minded, you will see that beauty comes in all different shapes, sizes, and skin tones. There is no standard of beauty . People will always have different preferences and find different qualities attractive. There are no ugly people, only people who are not your type. By realizing this, your superficial view of appearance will quickly change.

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2. Realize that the appearance will change

It is a fact that everyone will eventually get wrinkles. It does not matter how often you dye your hair or how often you use botox: the effects of aging can never be completely hidden. Do you only enter into relationships based on appearance? Then time will always catch up. After all, appearance is temporary.

Besides, getting older is not a bad thing, it does not mean you are less beautiful. Remember this: the outside is what makes someone attractive, the inside is the reason you stay with someone.

3. Don’t judge

There is a natural tendency to judge people by their appearance, because it is the first thing you see. But let us also make it clear that appearance is not everything. The more you get to know someone, the more you realize that people with an unattractive appearance are actually very attractive on the inside. Often people are more interesting than you would think.

Everyone has their own story, opinion and view of the world. It is a shame to always immediately put people in a box. And that is why the saying exists: ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’.

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4. Don’t let the media influence you too much

You don’t often realize how much influence the media has on the way we think about certain things. Think of the commercials that demand your attention or the so-called perfection of social media. A commercial for a make-up product makes you believe that you are not good enough. Social media posts from famous influencers give you the idea that everyone is perfect. Until you start dating and you realize that there are almost no perfect people who can live up to this image.

5. Stop comparing

No one person sets the standard of beauty. It is a subjective matter. Different people have different definitions of beauty. Life is not like a beauty contest where you have to impress the judges to walk out the door as a winner. Everyone has something they are good at and plenty of other things they are bad at. No one is perfect and there will always be something that one person has that another does not.

You have to accept this trade-off if you want to be in a relationship with someone. You can wait forever for the perfect person, but they don’t exist. The only thing that matters is how someone makes you feel – regardless of what they look like.

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6. Evaluate your priorities

Realizing that you may be too superficial when it comes to the outward appearance of others is a good start. The first step to solving a problem is realizing that it exists. You need some self-knowledge to figure out exactly what you are looking for in a partner . And appearance is – when you get to the heart of the matter – only secondary.

A person’s personality, character, and behavior are far more resilient than their appearance. Are you looking for someone who is outgoing, driven, creative, or respectful? Evaluate your priorities and you’ll find that it doesn’t matter if they’re not blonde, as long as they treat others with respect.

7. Get to know others for real

How often has someone surprised you after you’ve talked to them? If someone has unkempt hair and a sloppy outfit, you might get the impression that they are lazy and disorganized. Until that same person tells you that they have a group of volunteers cleaning up the homes of people in need. When you get to know them better, you really know what’s going on. The most important thing is to always make an effort to really get to know people better before you judge them.

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8. Try to dig deeper

The people you meet are much more than what they seem to be. It is easy to pigeonhole people based on a first conversation, but it usually takes much more to understand them. During a first meeting, you only see the top layer of people. You do not know what they have experienced in the past, what they dream of or what their ambitions are for the future. You can only find out by talking, listening and digging.

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