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So, you’ve gotten to the point where you’re wondering, “Should I text him first?” Because when you wake up, you’re disappointed that you didn’t get a text from him. And you know he woke up before you did. But then it happens again the next day, and the day after that.
It bothers you, because your contact is really nice. And he also answers all your messages. How come he never sends you a text message of his own accord? All you have to do to have a nice conversation with him is send a text message. But that is exactly what bothers you. Because he too should send a text message of his own accord once in a while — at least that is what you think.
If this sounds familiar, don’t panic yet. There are several reasons why he might not be texting on his own. And not all of them are equally annoying.
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6 Reasons He Never Texts First
Men are a special breed when it comes to texting. Men text differently than women. We’ll tell you why he never texts first, but always responds. And in most cases, it means you’re not doing anything wrong. Sometimes, or even often, it’s just him.
1. He is insecure about your feelings for him
Men also sometimes feel insecure about the relationship and some have good reasons for that. Although the contact is always nice, there is still a feeling of insecurity in him. Because you are the first to text, that feeling is taken away. It is a kind of confirmation that you do like him. Sometimes it can take a while before he realizes that.
Every first moment of contact is one of joy. It is the confirmation he needs. If that realization finally comes to him, he will suddenly decide to text you. But give him some time and let your man know that you like him just as much as he likes you. In other words: give him the confirmation he is looking for.
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2. He is insecure about his own feelings
Conversely, it could also be that he is unsure about his feelings. He doesn’t know exactly what to do with you. He likes you in itself, but is it nice enough? He hasn’t decided yet. Maybe he wants to keep in touch, but not go any further than that. Maybe he doesn’t want to give you false hope. Maybe he wants to be intimate with you, but not a relationship. If he is unsure about his feelings for you, these are all reasons why he doesn’t text first, but always replies.
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3. It is the custom
You always text first, he thinks. Maybe he just expects you to text him, because it happened naturally. If you can distance yourself from this, you will notice that he will really take the initiative himself. Although the first few days that it happens may make him a bit insecure. He may suddenly start to wonder if anything has changed in your feelings.
So there is a chance that he will start to behave in a slightly different way, at least as far as you can see through the app. But the tone of his apps will change and he might ask you questions about the lack of messages. Either way, give it some time, even if it is a whole day. You have to give him the space to come to you too.
That doesn’t mean you should never text first. It does mean that you should wait for him to take the initiative every now and then. That can’t hurt, of course. He’ll probably tell you pretty quickly that he was just waiting for you to text him first.
4. He is busy
Multitasking is not a strong suit for men, even when it comes to the simplest things like texting and doing other things at the same time. So if your partner has something urgent to do, you probably won’t hear from him as much as you’d like, simply because he can’t get his mind around it. While the average woman will find a moment to send a quick text, the average man would rather focus on what he’s doing.
In this case, you might wonder where his priorities lie , but we advise you not to think about it too much. In any case, it is a pretty valid reason why he never sends a text message first, because he always answers. Texting is also possible after work hours, although for urgent matters it is useful if he responds faster.
5. He’s a bent z’n side chick
Are you officially still not together? It is possible that he is still exploring the market. He is therefore texting different women and you are one of them. Who he has contact with is mainly determined by who sends him a text and who doesn’t. Don’t get us wrong, this doesn’t mean he is not interested in you . He just has to find a way to divide his time between ‘all the side-chicks’.
If you get to the point where it ends up in a relationship or something like that, then he will have to do something about those side chicks of course. Contact with them has to disappear, even if we are only talking about texts. If you are still dating yourself, then you may also be in contact with multiple people via the app. Depending on how serious you are, you can solve this with a good conversation, we think.
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6. He doesn’t like texting
This happens much more often than you can imagine. There are enough men who are more into phone calls or personal conversations than into sending messages via a phone. It is therefore not so bad that he does not send an app very often on his own initiative. What is important is that the audio messages , video calls, phone calls and personal conversations are done with a lot of enthusiasm and attention.
If he indicates that he doesn’t like texting, but compensates for that with intimate contact and interest at other times, then his story is true. It is possible that he is a digital illiterate, someone who is a bit clumsy with his mobile phone. Or at least that he prefers personal contact.
So go on dates together, see each other in person as much as possible, and video call when you’re free instead of texting. Don’t try to force him to change, but just find other ways to keep in touch. Is there something important you need to know? Then call him. Or ask him to set a separate ringtone for your phone number so he knows it’s important when he gets a text from you.
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