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Wouldn’t it be great if everyone wore a pin that said “Single” or “Occupied”? It would instantly clarify things. Whether it’s the Starbucks barista who keeps you caffeinated every morning or the flirty coworker from across the aisle, it’s hard to show interest if you’re not sure if the other person is single.
Now, you might think it’s as simple as asking one question: “Are you single?” But that’s easier said than done. Asking a complete stranger if they’re single is actually quite difficult. While it might save you a lot of time and energy, it puts you in a vulnerable position. And if there’s one thing people want to avoid, it’s that.
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8 Steps to Find Out if Someone is Single
Although we don’t have the time to provide everyone in the Netherlands with such a pin, we can help you find out if someone is single. We have collected eight ways for you with which you can find out – directly and indirectly – if someone is single.
1. Look it up online
Google is not yet ready to answer your question whether someone is single, but a search on their name will get you a long way. What you should mainly look for are their social media profiles. Checking social media is an innocent and easy way to find out whether someone is in a relationship or not . It is probably a step you have already taken yourself. What to look for:
- See if the person frequently appears in photos with one person.
- Read the captions.
- See who gets tagged in posts.
- Check who is commenting on the posts.
- Check the relationship status on Facebook under ‘Info’.
- Check the life events on Facebook.
2. Pay attention to the details
When people are in a relationship, you can see it in the little things. Does a man sometimes come with a small grocery cart and other times with a tough man’s car? Then that could mean that he sometimes borrows his girlfriend’s car, for example when his is at the garage. Or if you see a woman doing the shopping, look at what she puts in her basket to see what she buys. If it’s only one-person meals, then there’s a good chance that she lives alone and is therefore probably single. And of course: also check whether the other person is wearing a wedding ring.
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3. Ask around
Don’t want to ask directly if someone is single? Then casually and between the lines ask someone he or she knows. Maybe you have mutual friends, know a colleague or someone else who can provide you with more information. This gives you the opportunity to find out if the person you have a crush on could be a good fit for you.
“Is he single? I saw him with that woman and I wasn’t sure…”
4. Pay attention to personal space
Those who are already in a relationship tend to distance themselves from the opposite sex. They make sure that other men and women do not enter their personal space. Sometimes they want to avoid being picked up while they are taken , sometimes it is to not make their partner jealous. If you notice that someone – unlike the rest of the group – distances themselves from the members of the opposite sex, this could mean that they are not single.
5. Wait for it
People in relationships often refer to their partners in the conversations they have. “Oh how cool, my girlfriend has that too!” Why do they do that? Men and women refer to their girlfriends to make it clear to others that they are not available. And by doing so, they want to avoid getting rejected . So if you’re not sure if someone is single, it’s probably best to just wait for them to say something about their relationship status. Talking to someone more often will help you figure it out.
There is no set time when they will bring up their significant other, but it usually happens within the first five conversations you have. Ask the right questions, like who they went on vacation with, to get an answer to your question faster.
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6. Start over data
Bringing up the topic of dating doesn’t have to be awkward. Share something about your own experiences to invite the other person to do the same. It could be a bizarre date experience or a complaint about the current dating scene: pretend to be curious about the other person’s experiences while getting an answer to the question of whether they’re single.
“Have you ever been on a date like this?”
7. Ask about the partner
Instead of asking if someone is single, you can also turn it around: ask about the partner. Because if there is no partner, then you also have the answer. You could refer to a hypothetical partner in the things you say to see how the other person reacts to it. It is an indirect way to find out if the other person is single.
“I don’t think your friend is going to like that!”
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8. Ask it
Asking the question directly is the easiest way to find out if someone is single. Why not make it easy on yourself and get the answer to the burning question firsthand? It may make you a bit vulnerable, because you are indirectly indicating that you may be interested, but it will save you a lot of time. And last but not least: it will prevent you from coming to the wrong conclusion after a lot of research.
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