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There you are. Full of doubts. Signing up for a dating app seemed like a good idea. But now that the app asks you to fill out your dating profile, you start to feel a bit uncertain. Which photos should you post? Which ones not? What do you tell about yourself? If you’re like most people, you don’t know where to start. But rest assured: you’re not alone.
Creating a dating profile is not easy. You know that people will judge you based on what you share. That makes you vulnerable. And it is even harder to create a dating profile that scores. Because while anyone can put together a dating profile, only a few people know how to become more successful thanks to your dating profile. And that is what we are going to tell you more about.
Anatomy of a dating profile
If we start with the basics, it is clear that dating profiles consist of several parts. The photos are leading, your city and age play a role and the profile text comes after that. Now, depending on which app you use, you can share a bit more information about yourself, but these are the most important parts. And each of these parts has a purpose:
- Profile photo: first impression + physical attractiveness assessment
- Additional photos: confirmation of impression and physical attractiveness + lifestyle assessment
- Place of residence: assessment of physical distance
- Age: assessing age difference and life stage
- Profile text: personality assessment
- Additional information: general assessment
Of all these components, you have no control over some, such as your age and place of residence, while you do have control over the other components. These are the components of your profile that you can improve, such as your profile photo, additional photos and profile text.
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How to create a better dating profile?
The entire dating app ecosystem is built on quick first impressions. For most dating app users, this is the deciding factor. It determines whether or not they swipe right or send a message. What they see in your dating profile at a glance determines their next action. Will it be a swipe right? Or a quick rejection to the left?
According to research , it’s a matter of seconds. Men spend an average of just 6.7 seconds assessing a dating profile. Women spend an average of 11.1 seconds. Now, if you pull up a dating profile on your smartphone, you’ll discover how little you can actually see and read in this time. And we’re not talking about the first impression – which is shorter – but about the entire assessment of a dating profile.
If we look at first impressions in dating profiles alone, we call upon cognitive psychologists from Lincoln and Swansea University. They recently conducted research into first impressions and dating profiles. How much time do you think people need to form a first impression of a dating profile? The answer is one second . On average, the participants in the study did not need more time to make a choice based on appearance alone.
One second for the first impression, seven to eleven seconds for a full assessment. We don’t need to convince you how important the pictures are when you only have a few seconds. So let’s start with the pictures.
Tips and ideas for your profile pictures
Dating app users sometimes make a mess of it. For example, women are constantly confronted with bathroom selfies, men posing with fish and bare torsos (sometimes even without a face). On the other hand, men have to decipher the many group photos and guess what the woman looks like without all the beauty filters. Men and women make mistakes that they actually don’t have to make.
The good news is that someone else’s mistakes can help you stand out more and better. Lead by example. Even if you don’t have the looks of a cover model, these photo tips can increase your chances of a match.
1. Choose your very best profile picture
Everything depends on your profile picture – the first picture that other users see first. This is the picture that makes or breaks your profile. Because those who view your profile know nothing about you, your physical appearance has a strong influence on how they judge you. The first picture is therefore the picture with which you make the first impression . It is the picture that determines whether you are found attractive and nice.
The simple advice for a profile picture is a clear headshot. A genuine smile , one that makes your eyes sparkle, makes a good first impression. A slightly mysterious look without a smile works too. And a slight tilt of your head can also increase your attractiveness. There are many directions you can take with a profile picture. When in doubt, ask someone else to select your best photo.
A successful profile photo is eye-catching, sharp and shows who you are in one image. It should make it clear who it is with a quick glance at your profile. A clear image of what you look like – at least your face and preferably a bit more of your body. What is not suitable as a profile photo?
- No pub, party or group photo
- No accessories that cover your face
- No extremely edited photo with filters
- No collage
- Geen screenshot
- No photo of a photo
- No scanned photo
2. Take lots of pictures
Some people look at the camera and instantly have an Instagram hit. Any natural movement towards the camera results in a photo suitable for a magazine. These are the people who don’t have to work hard to find the perfect photo for their dating profile.
If you’re the type of person who never takes good pictures, then of course it will take a little more time. Take lots of pictures of yourself, but also ask others to take pictures of you more often. The more pictures you take of yourself, the more likely you are to have some dating profile-worthy shots.
3. Keep it recent
We get it. You’re still proud of that dated photo from four years ago, when you were lean and toned. But four years is too old. You’re expected to use a recent photo of yourself. If only to avoid being seen as a catfish . A recent photo may get you fewer matches, but it’s the one that won’t disappoint anyone.
After all, what good are dozens of matches attracted to a much younger and probably prettier version of yourself? You simply don’t want to surprise people with your appearance if it leads to a first date .
4. Increase the contrast
The last thing you want to do with your profile picture is to degrade yourself to an extra in your own photo. Your profile picture is the way to stand out and you don’t do that by letting yourself blend into the background. By increasing the contrast you can bring yourself a bit more to the foreground. You can change the contrast of a photo yourself with an app. Or if you have a modern smartphone, you can also do it in the photo settings.
Scientists tested it and found that photos with high contrast are found more attractive than photos with low contrast. These photos with contrasts, for example dark and light, are easier processed by the human brain due to the reduced complexity.
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5. Go for high quality
It is not done to upload a blurry photo to your profile. In today’s smartphone world, where the average smartphone has a better resolution than a digital camera, there is no excuse to present yourself with a blurry or grainy photo. If your profile visitors think that 1999 wants his photo back, you are immediately at a disadvantage. What happens then? You are swiped left in the blink of an eye.
6. Go for a calm background
The same study showed that singles prefer a calm background. A busy background is distracting. It takes the focus away from you. Backgrounds with lots of colors and shapes suck the subject out of the foreground. If you want more matches , you take that into account. The calmer, the better. The scientists advise users of dating apps to use a solid background. And this too can easily be adjusted with an editing app.
7. Don’t forget the selfie
Selfies are sometimes called the beginning of the end of intelligent civilization. But on a dating app, you can always use them to your advantage. While it’s not a good idea to only post selfies, a lack of selfies isn’t a good idea either. According to research, 86 percent of singles are more likely to message someone who has a selfie as one of their photos . If you don’t have a selfie in your dating profile yet, you might want to consider this:
- Selfies are great conversation starters
- Selfies suggest that you are happy with yourself
- Selfies are easy to take
- You can take selfies yourself
- Selfies show that you are confident
8. Don’t post group photos
Everyone is done with group photos. They hardly add anything to your dating profile. You can keep photos of your trips with friends. But these nostalgic images are not suitable as a profile photo – maybe not even as an extra photo. In any case, avoid any photos that do not clearly show who you are. You do not want people to doubt your appearance and which of the ten you are.
According to researchers, this situation – in which the visitor of your profile has to decipher who you are – creates too much cognitive load. In a big word, this indicates that the human brain cannot process this. If you see too many things at once, you would rather look away than keep looking at them. The visitor of your profile must be able to identify who you are within a millisecond, otherwise they will quickly move on to the next candidate.
That said, interesting group photos can be used as one of the extra photos. Group photos are desirable if they show others having a good time in your company. According to other research, these photos give a kind of confirmation that you are loved.
9. Pay attention to the composition
Composition can make or break your profile picture. According to research, our brains have a clear preference for compositions that include the upper (third) of the body. This is the area from the top of your stomach to above your head. When taking photos, this means not too far away (whole body), but also not too close (selfie).
Most dating apps, if not all, offer the possibility to add more than one photo. Where the profile photo invites visitors to hang around on your profile a bit longer, the additional photos ensure that you get the loot. For the additional photos you can be a bit more creative so that you can show who you are even better.
10. Take advantage of the ‘ugly friend’ effect
If you are going to post a photo with other people in it, it helps if they are less attractive than you. This is also known as the ‘ugly friend’ effect: when you are seen with less attractive people, your own attractiveness increases.
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11. Use the color red
Whether you are a man or a woman, red is a color that can give you an advantage. Many people choose security and wear clothes in neutral colors. Red is not neutral. By choosing this striking color you will immediately stand out among all the gray mice. Research proves it . Women find men who wear red more attractive, more sexual and higher in social status. And men think no differently. Women who wear red are more attractive and more desirable .
12. Pose with a dog
While we’re on the subject of photo hacks, this advice can’t be left out. Men who pose with dogs get more likes. Owning a dog, or pretending to own one, can help you become more attractive to women, especially if a committed relationship is your goal.
Women see men with dogs as better candidates for a serious relationship , but less good options for a short-term relationship or hookup. Why does posing with a dog help?
- They make you seem happier
- They show that you have responsibility
- They show that you can love
- They confirm that you dare to make a long-term commitment
- They are perfect for icebreakers and opening lines
13. Choose an attractive setting
Your photos are all about you, but the image that the visitor of your profile gets is not only dependent on how you look. When your photo appears, you are judged on everything that is visible. What is visible in the background, what is next to you, but also what you are doing.
When taking the photo, pay attention to the overall setting to complete the image. For example, do not choose a background with a bathroom mirror or a messy bedroom, but a garden with a beautiful blossom tree.
3 pro tips for your photos
- Women find a man more attractive when they see other women smiling at him.
- You are considered more important through the so-called ‘centre-stage’ effect, where you select photos in which you are in the middle .
- Dynamic videos in your dating profile can help foster connection with the viewer if a date happens.
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Tips and ideas for your profile text
Despite the fact that pictures can say more than a thousand words, pictures alone are usually not enough on a dating app. Imagine a dating app with absolutely nothing but pictures, no letters or numbers. You wouldn’t know their age, distance, or even their name. Would you still be able to make a good choice? Probably not.
The written word is important because it can provide crucial information that cannot be derived from a photo. Intelligence, humor, assertiveness, self-confidence: you name it. Photos will not help you emphasize these qualities. A good profile text will.
17. Fill in something
Something is always better than nothing when it comes to profile texts. A super smart text is of course even better, but a random profile text is still better than no text. This was proven in a study in which two dating profiles were compared. One had no profile text, the other did. The results showed that profiles with profile texts structurally get more likes than profiles with blank profile texts.
18. Keep it simple and sexy
People prefer simple content and (unconsciously) avoid complicated information. This is why emojis have become so important in modern forms of communication. With a small image you can say more than a whole sentence, emojis are a simple – but above all fast – way to digitally show your emotions. Moreover, they add some color to your profile and can help you save space. Take advantage of them
Easy-to-understand language also makes you smarter and more likeable . This is because people are naturally drawn to words that are easy to remember and pronounce. So don’t make your profile text simplistic, just simple.
19. Check it for spelling and grammatical errors
If there’s one thing most singles don’t want to see in a dating profile, it’s bad grammar . Spelling mistakes, typos, and lack of punctuation—people hate them. They’re a nuisance. In fact, a recent study found that 10 percent of women would never date a bad speller.
Nobody expects you to have every sentence in your profile text perfect. Nobody writes perfectly. An occasional typo is not bad. But making structural mistakes is. Research from Tilburg University shows that typos in a dating profile are seen as a sign of sloppiness. But language errors – such as the one with that mix-up – are even worse. These are namely judged as a sign of lower intelligence .
Random capitalization, spaces for periods, and sentences that have no endings: for most dating app users, these are official turn-offs. If writing isn’t your thing, get help. A quick check in Word for errors can’t be that hard, can it?
20. Keep it positive
As tempting as it is to complain and whine about the people who approach you, you are not helping anyone by saying what you absolutely do not want to see. Negativity is like poison to your dating profile. It is contagious. Everyone wants to stay away from it because negativity is unattractive.
The only thing you will achieve is that you will scare off potential matches, even if they do not feel addressed. However, the people you do end up attracting are often the ones you want to avoid. So don’t say what you don’t want, but make clear what you do want.
21. Avoid the clichés
As funny as it may seem to include that one Breaking Bad quote in your profile, chances are you’re not the only one using it. It’s not unique. Far from it. Quotes are generally not appropriate for dating profiles unless you can make a special point of it.
Another common mistake is using platitudes in dating profiles, a hackneyed phrase that is the equivalent of “saying nothing.” Do you like to lounge around, watch TV shows, and hang out with friends and family on the weekends? Guess what : everyone does. These are meaningless statements that say nothing about who you are.
22. Add some humor
Successful dating profiles contain humor. It is the secret ingredient that allows you to show your personality. Research also confirms that humor is attractive. Adding humor to your profile text therefore gives you an edge , a head start .
However, don’t mention that you’re funny, because that’s not funny. Show it with your profile text. A funny profile text is the best and most credible proof of a good sense of humor. And let’s be honest: is there anyone for whom a ‘good sense of humor’ doesn’t score well?
This music lover wants to write the next verse with someone else.
Math teacher looking for someone to add to his life. Share the love, multiply the fun.
Aspiring writer who wants to write his next chapter with someone else.
23. Make it authentic
While avoiding the typical clichés, you should of course have something interesting to say. How do you do that? By mentioning specific and original details. That makes your story more authentic and interesting. It is better to ‘portray’ who you are than to tell who you are. Do you like to travel? Then take these profile texts as an example:
‘Live life to the fullest’ is my motto, let’s just say I don’t like to sit still
Next up = Miami beach. Swipe to experience this adventure with me
along the East Side Gallery in Berlin
along the Strade del Vino in Tuscany for the best wine
to the beats of Martin Garrix in Ushuaïa Ibiza by night
Want to know more about me?
No one really wants to know that you love to travel. They do want to know that you are super nervous during boarding and almost wet your pants during take-off. But all that is quickly forgotten once you take your seat at your VIP table and let the champagne flow freely. In other words, it is better to describe what you like to do than to tell what you like to do.
Tell your own story. That makes your profile text original . Another example to make clear how to see this. Compare these two quotes:
1. I have a strong personality.
2. Sweat was running down my forehead. Every step was one too many as I ran the last few miles of the marathon. My body resisted. But my mind wanted to keep going. Giving up was not an option.
24. Introduce your best qualities
Men and women are naturally attracted to certain good and bad qualities. Use this to your advantage when writing your profile text . Don’t try to appeal to the masses, but to the ones you want to reach. Ultimately, you’re looking for someone who understands you, someone who wants to explore your quirks. The more specific your profile is, the better you’ll be able to find someone who appeals to that.
Play on the qualities that are desirable. As a man, you can mention your bravery and courage or your determination. Not that you get high scores on Call of Duty and are the record holder for ‘burping’ among your friends. Women, on the other hand, can play on the classic qualities of a woman such as caring, sensitivity and vulnerability.
Don’t make the mistake of telling how trustworthy, loyal and honest you are. These are the clichés you should avoid. Only mention the qualities that make you different and ‘better’ than others, such as your addictive drive for success or your crazy career path.
25. Use the 70:30 rule
Where most dating apps don’t give you much space to present yourself, traditional dating sites offer you a bit more space. This space is useful if you naturally like to tell a story. But the more you tell, the more there is to turn off. For example, it is not the intention to write a long text that is only about yourself. So stick to this rule: 70% about yourself, 30% about what you are looking for.
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26. Use a call to action
Everyone is familiar with it. But not everyone knows that there is a name for it: the call-to-action. These are calls to readers (or viewers) to take action. Think for example of the ‘Buy now’ mentions in advertisements or order buttons that you find in webshops, often conspicuously present in a color that attracts attention. A few examples:
- Click here for discount
- Subscribe to the newsletter
- Buy now for only €9.95
- Join the club now
Such sentences have one purpose. They want you to do something. The sentences want to persuade you to take action. They call on you to perform an action.
The call to action works. Any marketer can confirm that. And you can use that in your dating profile, where you are the product you are trying to sell. It comes down to saying something in your profile text that persuades the visitor of your profile to perform a desired action. This could be a swipe to the right, adding you as a favorite or sending a message.
“Am I your match? Swipe right
27. Show, don’t tell
Show that you are a catch, but not that you think you are a catch. There is a big difference between bragging about yourself and mentioning your best qualities. The way you share this in your text determines the image that others get of you.
For example, don’t tell people that you’re the best photographer in the Netherlands, but add a technical feat to your photos. Don’t brag about your wonderful taste in music, but link your Spotify account to your profile. This technique will take you further and deliver the best results, according to research .
This is just the beginning
These tips, tricks and handy examples can help make your dating profile irresistible. And that is necessary, because your dating profile determines whether you get matches. But you are not there yet. It is just the beginning. Because as soon as there is a match, there has to be talking. Messages are exchanged and sentences are assessed. Do you already know how to go from a conversation on a dating app to a date? How to ask someone out on a date? We can tell you more about that too:
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