Share This Article
Drama excites. There is nothing more exciting than an intensely passionate relationship that starts and ends, sometimes in the same day. It is a series of attraction and repulsion , also known as push and pull. This is the type of relationship where one day you realize that you can neither live with nor without each other.
Some people seem to be made for this type of relationship. They need some commotion in every aspect of their lives to thrive. Including in their relationships. A day without spectacle is not lived, they think. Others are not made for it and have – consciously and unconsciously – taken a seat on someone else’s emotional rollercoaster. They may not want any drama at all, but have committed themselves to someone who is ‘addicted to drama’. And these are the ones who will do everything in their power to avoid drama in their next relationship.
If you share this experience, you have probably learned from your mistakes . A stormy relationship teaches you a lot about how relationships work, but at some point you are done with it. The dreamy view of relationships disappears and as you get older, you look more for stability. You have come to realize that a relationship full of drama is not sustainable. And it is certainly not healthy .
ALSO READ: 35 Playful Dates to Keep Your Relationship Alive
Drama in relationships
When we talk about drama in relationships , we are mainly talking about emotional difficulty. It is an emotional state that one or both people in the relationship find themselves in. This state creates an uncomfortable feeling, partly because it involves manipulation, conflict and/or control.
In most cases, the personal and internal conflicts are reenacted on a ‘larger stage’ with a partner as opponent. It gives the false impression that something is really going on at that moment, while in fact something has happened that has happened many times before.
ALSO READ: One-Sided Relationship? 22 Signs It’s Coming from One Side
11 Rules to Follow
While some may think that having a drama-free relationship is impossible, it can be achieved. It’s not unique. People date and have relationships without drama. So it really is possible. If you share Mary J. Blige’s thoughts and want no more drama in your next relationship, follow these rules.
1. Don’t play games
Playing hard to get, keeping your true feelings to yourself and delaying messages so you don’t seem desperate: these are classic mind games that people play during the dating phase. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. The problem with all these games is that they can backfire and cause unintended drama. While you think they are helping your chances, they actually do the opposite. They put you in a turbulent and uncertain situation.
2. Don’t try to ‘fix’ anyone
There is a reason why so many people want to become psychologists. They all have a desire to help others. Or better yet, to fix them. If you have that desire, then training to be a psychologist could be a healthy outlet to fulfill that need. Getting into a relationship with someone you want to “fix” is not. Any relationship based on that is doomed to fail.
3. Communicate openly and clearly
In the dating phase, everyone is cautious. You don’t want to say anything that might scare the other person off. You hesitate to say what you really mean. And you take too much account of what the other person thinks of you. It’s normal to wait and see in a new relationship. But if you’re too reserved, you’re not clear about what you want and expect. And that can cause drama in the relationship.
4. Pay attention to certain personality traits
How much drama someone attracts and causes has a lot to do with personality traits. If you learn to recognize these traits, you will know better who to avoid. For example, the typical drama queen – and drama king too – has a number of personality traits that are collectively called the ” histrionic personality disorder .” Characteristics of this drama-prone personality include:
- Lots of flirting
- Constantly seeking attention
- Like to be the center of attention
- Rapidly changing and superficial emotional behavior
- Using appearance
- Showing exaggerated emotions (theatrical)
- Easy to influence
ALSO READ: Is He The One? Not If He Does These 25 Things
5. Meet the family
It may not be entirely fair to judge someone by their family. But if someone has had bad role models, they are more likely to display the same behavior themselves. Someone who was not raised with love may (possibly) have difficulty giving love themselves. There is also a genetic element that plays a role, because someone with emotionally unstable parents is more likely to be like that themselves . Getting to know the family can give you a better idea of who you are dealing with and whether this person will be able to live without drama.
6. Be honest
Of course, honesty is essential in a drama-free relationship. Deception will sooner or later lead to drama in relationships. Drama that can be avoided by simply being honest from the start. Not hiding anything from each other, not twisting the truth and no white lies. If you want a drama-free relationship, you will prioritize honesty.
7. Pay attention to patterns
If drama in your relationships is the rule rather than the exception, it’s time to take a closer look at the patterns . Chances are you’re stuck in a very specific pattern. These patterns don’t just happen. They don’t happen by accident. They’re self-created, for example, by your own insecurities and experiences. You can minimize drama in your relationship by first working on the underlying causes.
ALSO READ: Couples Have More in Common Than We Think’
8. Adjust your expectations
When you start dating someone, it is good to lower your expectations from the beginning. High expectations lead to greater disappointment. Don’t expect the person you are dating to act like the perfect partner right away. It takes time to get to know each other’s needs.
9. Be aware of yourself
A relationship full of drama is rarely one-sided. Usually, both parties are both perpetrator and victim. This means that it is not always someone else’s fault. It could also be you, for example if you know that you are susceptible to emotional games. Or if you have just gotten out of a relationship with someone who was needy and your emotional reserves are depleted. If you are not ready to date, relationship problems are almost a guarantee.
10. Seek maturity
Maturity is an important quality if you want to avoid drama. We are not talking about biological maturity, but emotional or psychological maturity . Someone who is emotionally mature has a stable identity. This person knows who they are and what they want from life. This gives a clear sense of self-worth and direction.
Someone who is emotionally immature does not have that or has less and therefore unintentionally ends up in dramatic situations. Why? Because this person is not yet able to communicate about needs, boundaries and desires.
ALSO READ: 114 Best Date Ideas for First, Second and More Dates
11. Set boundaries
One of the best ways to avoid drama is to set clear boundaries. Where those boundaries should be? That’s up to you. Think about setting boundaries for mind games, emotional unavailability, and manipulative tactics . Boundaries depend entirely on the circumstances and your confidence in taking on challenges. But if someone crosses your boundaries, at least you know drama is lurking.
P.S. Are you already following Gistinger.com on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter?