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Due to an awkward mix of nerves and insecurity, it’s easy to ruin a date. You say things you shouldn’t, you laugh too loudly (or not at all), and despite all the preparation, you fail to ask a single question. Dating is fun, unless you manage to turn every first date into a complete disaster.
The reality is that almost no one escapes it. Dating is a guarantee of failed attempts and disastrous encounters. That’s part of it. It can be fun, but it can also be horrible, disappointing and worthless. And it doesn’t even have to be your fault.
If you want to avoid a disastrous date, there are a few things that are within your control. How much you drink, whether you are on time, and what questions you ask are things that are within your control. To prevent you from ruining your dates even more, here are eleven golden rules to follow.
1. Work on your personal hygiene
Several studies have shown that personal hygiene can be one of the biggest turn-offs on a date . A sloppy appearance, bad breath, and an unkempt appearance: it is a deal breaker for men and women . Poor personal hygiene is fatal to your chances. Appearance may not be everything, but the least you can do before a first date is take a shower, put on clean clothes, do your hair, and brush your teeth.
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2. Treat everyone with respect
There are a few unwritten rules of etiquette that you should not break on a first date. One of those rules is to treat everyone with respect, whether it is your date or the person serving you. Be your best self on the first date: polite, friendly and well-mannered.
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3. Leave your phone in your pocket
If you use your phone on a date, it gives the impression that you are not prioritizing the date enough. It seems like you are just not that interested. The same is true if you just leave your phone on the table and quickly check the notifications. Leave your phone alone.
4. Stay safe
Safety is the number one priority when dating, especially for women. If you want to avoid an unsafe date, follow these dating safety tips . Tell a friend where you’re going, don’t get into the other person’s car, and meet in a public place. These are some simple steps you can take to avoid getting into an awkward situation.
5. Prepare yourself
The person you are meeting deserves to be treated seriously. Prepare for the date by re-reading the dating profile and bio . Look at the photos again and go over the conversation again. The latter is especially important to make sure you are asking relevant questions and not asking questions that have already been answered.
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6. Arrive on time
Not too late and preferably a little too early. Being on time is one of the basic aspects on which you are judged during a date. What you don’t want is for the person you are meeting to be uncertain for ten minutes about your presence or absence. If you have a habit of being late for appointments, take some extra time to travel to the location. And remember: it is always better to be too early than too late.
- App earlier in the day to confirm the date.
- Confirm your departure from home with an app.
- Say that you will contact them if you can’t make it (and ask them to do the same).
- Do not wait longer than 15 minutes at the date location.
7. Choose the right setting
Since dating is exciting enough, it helps to meet somewhere you feel comfortable. Make sure it’s somewhere you feel at home and preferably somewhere that’s not too crowded. You’ll feel more relaxed and that will prevent most of the disastrous dates.
8. Drink met mate
Alcohol makes you less shy in social situations, which is why it is also called a ‘social lubricant’. But on a first date, it is not wise to reach for the bottle . Besides the fact that you become loose-lipped if you have one too many, it does not leave the best first impression.
9. Have something to say
A date is 80 percent conversation. And a conversation is not a conversation if it is one-sided. It takes a dialogue to call it a date. Not being able or willing to say anything is also a mortal sin for many on a date. If you want to avoid the most awkward situation on a date – that is the conversation coming to a standstill – then make sure you have a few topics of conversation.
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10. Keep your hands to yourself
First dates are between people who don’t know each other or barely know each other. With this in mind, it’s best to avoid getting physical. Even if you think you ’re getting consent, there’s a chance your date might not enjoy it. Not everyone enjoys touching and body contact. In other words: don’t touch if you’re not 100% sure it’s wanted.
11. Don’t take anyone with you
It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but there’s no room for three people on a date. An official date is one-on-one, no guests allowed. The only exceptions are double dates – when you meet up with two other people – and polyamorous couples .
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