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New relationships are as fragile as a house of cards. One wrong move and the carefully constructed structure falls apart. Like houses of cards, new relationships are notorious for lacking a foundation. There is no stability yet. And it is uncertain whether the house will remain standing. That is why people say that you should not rush into a new relationship. But why do they say that?
New relationships
A new relationship is extremely exciting. The happy hormones are coursing through your body and a euphoric feeling dominates your daily life. In the first few weeks of the budding relationship, everything is turned upside down. Your work is no longer important and eating is almost impossible. The only thing you can think about is your new love, while you ignore everything around you. And therein lies the danger.
In the early stages of a new relationship, it is common for your rational mind to take a vacation for a while. You don’t think beyond planning the next meeting with your new lover. Romance is the only thing on your mind. But before you start planning the wedding, it is wise to take it easy.
More haste less speed
Rushing a new relationship is rarely a good thing. Instinctively, you probably know that yourself. But at the same time, you have those intense feelings and you don’t want it to diminish. In fact, if it were up to you, you would see each other more often. That’s why you ask yourself whether or not you should put the brakes on.
Should you let things cool down a bit and take it easy? Isn’t it all going a bit too fast ? And does your new relationship have a greater chance of success if you were to take a step back now?
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11 Reasons Not to Rush a New Relationship
The honeymoon phase of a relationship is wonderful. Everything is a delight. The first time you go out to dinner together is the best meal you’ve ever had. The first “I love you” lifts you off the earth. And the first time you have sex is the best sex you’ve ever had. You enjoy every minute of it.
The fiery, vibrant feeling you get from your new love is not forever. It is temporary. No matter how much in love you are, eventually you will come back down to earth and everything in your life will come back into balance. What will be left of your feelings and the relationship? Here are eleven reasons not to rush any relationship.
1. You don’t miss the signals
While you never imagined there would be anything you didn’t like, you’re starting to notice things. Put-downs, sickening questions, and maybe even possessive behavior . How could you have missed the signs?
If you rush into a relationship, you may miss some critical signs of unhealthy relationship patterns . The present you are living in is not the future you previously envisioned for yourself. If only you had paid more attention, you think.
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2. You have more time to reveal yourself
When you first meet someone, you are usually not completely yourself. You are the best version of yourself. This is not just true for you – it is true for everyone, including your new lover. That is why it is a wise choice to take it slow. Doing this gives both you and the other person time to show your true colors.
3. It may be more lust than love
Lust and love can seem very similar in the early stages. So the obsession with your new love does not have to be the result of extreme feelings of love. Lust can also cause those desires. One way to find out if the new relationship is based on lust is to ask yourself this question:
“Am I really interested in learning all the details about this person or is it more about satisfying my desire?”
The difference between lust and love is that lust is often short-lived and more focused on physical desires, while love is more focused on emotional connection and is more long-lasting. Think of lust as a short fuse that burns out quickly and love as a candle that burns for days. A relationship based on lust is not wrong or bad. It really only is if you think it is true love .
4. You will be more satisfied with the relationship later
At least, if you take it slow in the bedroom. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples are more satisfied with their relationship if they wait to have sex. The couples who wait longer to have sex also communicate better in the long run than those who get between the sheets sooner.
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5. You learn the real intentions
Delaying sex has another advantage that applies to women in particular. It gives women the opportunity to test the other person’s intentions. For women – men experience this much less – it can be very hurtful when someone pretends that a serious relationship is in the offing, only to back out when the first time is a fact. By not rushing into a new relationship, and also making this known, women can scare off those who only want sex .
6. It could be a rebound
For some people, new relationships can fill a void left by a breakup. These are called rebound relationships, when someone rushes into a new relationship without properly processing the previous one. It is as if they feel a void that they want to fill with someone else. As you can probably guess, these rebound relationships rarely stand the test of time. Such relationships and their unfortunate consequences can be avoided by not rushing into any relationship.
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7. You avoid getting swept up in it
It’s flattering to know that someone is crazy about you. Everyone has a soft spot for that. After all, who doesn’t love hearing how great you are every day, even on your worst days? The problem with this is that you can be tempted to say the same thing even when you’re not feeling it. You can start to act in a way that’s not true to yourself and your feelings. And when you finally realize that, it’s not so easy to leave your partner .
8. You can protect yourself
Many relationships fail before they even begin to get serious. Investing less of yourself in the relationship and gradually building up your emotional investment is one way to avoid getting hurt unnecessarily. If you take it slow and don’t rush the relationship, the emotional damage will be less if it doesn’t work out.
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9. You create a healthy balance
It’s normal to want to spend as much time together as possible. Love is addictive. Especially in the beginning of a relationship. It’s just a bad habit if it makes you neglect the other people in your life. If you ditch your friends and family when you find a new love, they might not be there for you when the relationship is over . And that’s exactly when you need their love and support.
To enjoy a relationship for a long time, a healthy balance is needed. A balance between the time you spend on the relationship and the time you invest in the other people in your life.
10. It’s worth the wait
If you have worked hard to get something, you tend to appreciate it more once you have it. Think about it. The reward is always better if you have worked harder for it. For example, someone who wins the jackpot values the wealth less than someone who has saved the money with blood, sweat and tears. And so the reward is greater if you have had to walk a long path to get to that point in the relationship.
11. You keep the desire
If you had all the money on earth, money would lose its value. If you spend eight hours a day checking cookies on a conveyor belt, you lose your desire for cookies. What we are saying is that if you see each other too much, the desire for each other disappears. It may feel good at the time, but it is rarely good for the future of the relationship.
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