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Wouldn’t it be great if the perfect match miraculously showed up at your doorstep? Right when you started looking for the one? And that person also had a good mood, a smile on their face and a pizza box in their hand? Unfortunately, that’s not how most people get to know their perfect match. There’s more to it, a lot more.
There is an old and well-known proverb that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. If there is one thing this proverb applies to, it is finding the perfect match. It takes a lot of matches to find that one match. And even if you think you have found ‘the one’, that is no guarantee that it is really the one .
Ultimately, a lot can happen between matching on a dating app and meeting for the first time. For example, you might think it could definitely work out after seeing the photos, until you discover that your match thinks the earth is flat. Or you discover that your new match is n’t single at all . In short, there are turn-offs and dealbreakers that can throw a spanner in the works. And that’s why it’s good to get to know your match better before you arrange a date.
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9 Ways to Get to Know Your Match Better
There is a very good reason why only 2 percent of online matches lead to a date. And that reason is simple. You can’t go on a date with every match to see if the chemistry is there. Nobody has the time for that. That’s why filtering potential candidates starts on the app: before matching and after matching.
Matching on a dating app is all about getting to know each other. Will this person be a good fit for me? Do our lifestyles match? And last but not least: is this person really as attractive as they look in their photos? You can only find out if you get to know your match better. Here are nine ways to do that.
1. Start with the basics
In the beginning, it’s best to keep things simple. You don’t have to go straight to the point and ask about the things that turn you off. If your match shares information about themselves in their bio, you can talk about that first and see where the conversation goes. Or if you see something interesting in one of the photos, start the conversation with that. If you think you’ve found something you have in common, then elaborate on that.
- Study the bio
- Analyze the photos
- Listen to voice notes
- Take in all the details
- Think about what you want and need to know
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2. Use the in-app features
For an easy conversation starter, use in-app features. Dating apps have built-in features and extensive integrations with other platforms to make starting conversations as easy as possible. For example, check out your match’s Spotify playlist or latest Instagram post.
- Scrutinize social media profiles
- See what additional information you can find
3. Ask questions
Questions are essential in a conversation with someone you want to get to know better. Questions about personality, dreams, future plans and maybe even some flirty questions : they are necessary to break down someone’s wall. It is the best way to show interest in who your match is as a person and that goes beyond what your match looks like. You can also find out a lot about someone by the answer they give and how they word it. If you need questions to ask your match:
- 161 Questions to Get to Know Someone Better
- 99 funny and fun questions
- 100 Best and Funniest Date Questions
It’s important to ask the right questions after you’ve matched with someone, because the answers will help you determine if you’re a “good enough” fit for them and vice versa. There’s no point in keeping the match if there’s minimal chance that you’ll click . Online dating is hard enough. By asking the right questions, you can save yourself some time and hopefully a few awkward first dates .
4. Talk about things that are important to you
As tempting as it is to flirt all the time, it’s not the best way to get to know someone. Ultimately, you have to decide if someone is right for you, and that can only happen when you talk about things that are important to you. From family and career to daily life and future plans: is there a match there too?
It may be a bit boring to have such conversations, but they are necessary to find out if someone is right for you. If these conversations show that a relationship could not work, then it is better to find out as early as possible.
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5. Be open
When you are open about who you are and what you feel, you are signaling that you are confidential about everything that is said in the conversation. It also invites your match to open up to you. Your match will get to know you on a deeper level, while you get to know your match better. Being vulnerable and open builds trust. And that is a very good basis for a future relationship.
6. Share your social media
If you haven’t seen your match’s TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook profile yet, ask for it. Share yours, and ask for theirs. You can learn a lot about someone’s likes, interests, and social status just by looking at these profiles. How many followers does your match have? Which pages and people do they follow? Are there any stories that showcase your match better than their dating profile?
7. Do some detective work
Now that you know a little more about who your match is, you’ve probably figured out their full name . With this knowledge, you can learn even more. Search the name in brackets on Google and see what comes up. Stalking is not the intention. And we’re not trying to solve a crime. The search is solely to ensure that you’re not dating a notorious con artist or convicted sex offender. Safety first , right?
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8. Open a video call
By now you’ve figured out whether you and your match get along. The next step is a video call . Moving images accompanied by your match’s voice are a great way to get to know someone better. How do you interact with each other? Do you finish each other’s sentences? Or does your match have a terrible dialect?
With a video call, you get to hear what the other person sounds like, how they talk, and whether the conversation flows as smoothly as it would via text. More importantly, the video doesn’t just confirm that your match is who you saw in the photos . With a video call, you also get a better idea of what they look like.
9. Ask your match out on a date
Finally, once all the steps have been completed, there is one more thing left to do to get to know your match better. That is a real, physical meeting. If you feel comfortable with the idea of meeting, or even excited about it, then the time has come to ask your match out on a date .
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