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You finally found a match that you click with. It clicked so well, in fact, that three days after the first conversation you proposed to meet. And as you had hoped, you even got a ‘yes!’ in response. Great , but what should you do?
You don’t know exactly what you want to do for your first date, but it has to be something special. After some deliberation, you come up with the perfect date: you buy tickets for a zipline – a spectacular ride on a zip line followed by an alcoholic refreshment. When you then propose, it turns out that all the planning was for nothing. Your match is afraid of heights and doesn’t drink alcohol. What now?
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Date plans
Planning a first date can be stressful at times. You want your date to have a fun and special time, but you also want to do something that you can both enjoy. That’s why it’s important to think a little more carefully about the special afternoon or evening. You want to come up with something original that is unique to you and your date, instead of the classic dinner that everyone has done before. On the other hand, you don’t want your date to be too unique, which could ruin everything. We’ll tell you more about planning a first date.
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7 basic rules
Planning a date requires information . From yourself and your match. Here are seven basic rules for planning a suitable date.
1. Start from yourself and your date
The most important thing when planning a first date is to consider yourself and your date. If you plan something that the other person isn’t interested in, or doesn’t fit into their budget, the date will be less fun—or won’t happen at all. That’s why it’s important to know your and your match’s interests and budget before you start planning. Then base the date around a shared interest.
So planning a first date starts before you even ask for a first date. In the conversation that leads up to it, you should discover what the other person’s passions, interests, and hobbies are, while also sharing your own. Combining both interests makes it a lot easier to come up with a good date idea that is fun and relevant to both of you.
If you both like action, you could go to an escape room. Or if you prefer quiet activities, you could go to a nature park. In the meantime, try to keep in mind what fits within the budget, so that no one is uncomfortable later on because of a high bill that has to be shared. Some things you could ask:
- What kind of date would you like?
- What food or drink would you like to try?
- Do you have something in mind?
- Are there certain things you absolutely do not want to do on a date?
- What does an ideal date look like for you?
- Would you rather do something outside or inside?
- What kind of things do you like to do?
- Do you feel like doing something adventurous or would you rather take it a bit easier?
- Are you more of a city or nature person?
- What activities do you think would be fun to do?
2. Keep it simple
A first date is not the time to try new things. No one wants to wait in line for an hour at a popular bar or drive around in circles for an hour to find a parking spot. Keep things simple on the first date to avoid such situations. Leave the elaborate date plans on the shelf for a future encounter.
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3. Enable conversation
When you think about a location, remember that it should be possible to have a quiet conversation. The cinema, which is a popular idea, does not allow for this. Cinema dates are not ideal if you want to have a conversation because of the enforced silence. How are you going to flirt and laugh if the people sitting behind you keep giving you a corrective tap on the shoulder? Therefore, choose a date that offers the opportunity to talk normally.
4. Don’t spend too much
There is no need to spend insane amounts of money on a first date just to impress your match . That is usually not the best way to start a relationship. It can scare the other person off and at the same time, you are sending the wrong message. Are you trying to win or buy your match’s heart?
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5. Make a backup
Planning a date requires checking. Are you going out for dinner? Check if there is space on the day and time you want to dine. Do you need to make a reservation or is that not necessary? Are there enough parking spaces nearby? What do you do if it turns out that everything is taken? Do you have a backup plan? What do you do if the date is a success and you want to extend it with a walk? Is that possible in the area? As you can see, there is more to planning a date than you might think. Prepare yourself by thinking about this:
- Opening hours of the location you are going to visit
- Parking spaces at the location or public transport accessibility
- To book
- Menu
- Dress style for what you are going to do
- Transportation to the location
- Travel time
- Alternative transportation for when you go drinking
- Ideas for extending the date
- Balance on your account
6. Plan the greeting and farewell
Plan ahead to avoid awkward moments. Think about how you want to greet the other person: with a kiss on the cheek, a handshake, or a hug. At the end of the date, there is another critical moment: will you say goodbye with a kiss, a hug, or no physical contact at all? Although you can’t plan all of this, you can face these situations with more confidence if you have thought about it.
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7. Come up with a date idea
When it comes to the date itself, you have a thousand and one date ideas to choose from. From relaxed to busy, from standard to creative, and from safe to risky, date ideas come in all shapes and sizes. Here are a few dates you can plan:
- Going to a museum together
- Picnic in the park
- Walk through the city or village
- Activities such as mini golf, laser gaming or bowling
- Visit the exhibition
- Try something new together, like a sports activity
- Visit local market
- Making something creative together, like painting
- Enjoy a drink on the terrace
- Together to the beach for a swim
- Visit local farm
- Tourist attraction nearby
First dates are always exciting. A good preparation – including a plan – makes it all a bit more bearable. By planning you avoid awkward situations, you gain more confidence and the tension decreases because you know what to expect.
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