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Picture this: You’re sitting at a table in the middle of a bustling crowd, surrounded by excited conversation and soft background music. You feel butterflies in your stomach as you prepare to go on a date with a man you met on a dating app. Is James, the man we’re talking about, the decent man who makes your heart beat faster and your soul sing?
After many, many bad experiences with bad men, you hope James is the man who treats you with respect and appreciates you for who you are. You hope he will listen to you and make you feel heard. Will he be honest and sincere? Will you feel safe in his presence?
26 Dating Tips for Women
Before you get completely carried away by the magic of the moment, it’s good to go back to basics. Dating starts before you even get to know someone and before you even meet them at a table in a café. So how can you make sure you find a good man in a maze of romance, full of unexpected twists and hidden pitfalls? We’ve collected X dating tips that can help you find that special man.
1. Invest in yourself
First of all, put yourself first. Take the time to discover yourself, pursue your passions, and grow personally. When you invest in yourself, you exude confidence and self-worth, which makes you more attractive to decent, clean men. A woman who is building her own life and is happy with herself and her life is a woman who is wanted by these men.
2. Trust your intuition
Your intuition is a powerful compass in dating. Listen to your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Trust yourself and don’t get carried away by fancy words or superficial charm. A decent man will respect you and your intuition will tell you that he won’t intentionally hurt you.
3. Pay attention to actions, not just words
Words can be beautiful and seductive, but actions speak louder. Pay attention to how a man acts and treats you. Does he respond quickly and show genuine interest? Or does he leave you hanging for days? A good man will be consistent in his behavior and will keep his promises. He will show you that he is trustworthy by his actions, not just his words.
4. Be selective on dating apps
On dating apps, it’s tempting to talk to a lot of guys and keep your options open. But to find a decent guy, it’s important to be selective. Don’t be fooled by a handsome profile picture on a blank profile. Take your time to carefully review profiles and look for shared values and interests. Choose quality over quantity and focus on men who are looking for a serious relationship.
Your time is valuable and that is why it is important to be selective about who you keep talking to. Be picky about the men you date. Just as you select only the best products when shopping, when dating you select only men who have qualities that match you. Don’t settle for less.
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5. Be honest in your profile description
It’s tempting to make yourself out to be better than you are. Most people do that on dating apps. But honesty lasts the longest. So be authentic in your profile text and describe yourself in a positive and unique way. Don’t exaggerate. That way you attract men who are really interested in who you are, and not in a fabricated version of yourself.
6. Choose quality over quantity
Your success on a dating app isn’t about the number of messages you receive . It’s about the quality of those messages. Take the time to respond to men who are genuinely trying to have an interesting conversation with you. Avoid the copy-paste guys. Go for deep conversations instead of superficial, quick flirts. By focusing on quality, you’ll automatically filter out the good guys.
7. Ask questions and listen actively
It is not difficult to get caught up in endless monologues about yourself. But that does not tell you anything about the man and whether he is decent. That is why you need to ask yourself some specific questions that will tell you more about his character. Ask these questions and actively listen to what he has to say. Some examples:
- What does respect mean to you and how do you show it in a relationship?
- How do you deal with conflicts or differences of opinion ?
- How do you deal with your partner’s emotions? Are you empathetic and understanding?
- What are your standards and values and how do you see them reflected in your daily life?
- What are your most important life experiences and how have they shaped you?
- How do you deal with stress and pressure in life?
- In what ways do you invest in personal growth and development?
- How important is fidelity and loyalty to you in a relationship?
- In what way(s) do you show affection and love to your partner?
- How do you deal with personal mistakes and take responsibility for your actions?
8. Avoid superficial conversations
When looking for a decent man, it’s important to avoid superficial conversations. Go beyond the standard “How are you?” and “What do you do for a living?” questions. Ask deeper questions that get to the core of someone’s personality. This will help you figure out if you’re really on the same page.
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9. Watch for red flags
It is essential not to ignore red flags . These red flags can prevent you from dating a man who will treat you the same as all the other bad guys before you. If a man is rude, disrespectful, or pushy, it is a clear sign that he is not the decent man you are looking for. Just as you would stop at a red light when driving, you should also stop and pay attention to these warning signs. Be prepared to quickly part ways with men who do not meet your standards.
10. Communicate your expectations
Be clear and honest about your intentions and what you are looking for in a relationship . Communicate your expectations to the men you speak to. This will help to avoid potential misunderstandings and attract men who are on the same wavelength as you. It also helps to indicate what you want (positive) and not so much what you do not want (negative).
11. Get to know him better before opening your heart
It’s tempting to get completely carried away by the romance, but it’s important to be patient and really get to know someone before you open your heart completely. Think of it like the unfolding of a beautiful flower. Each petal takes time to open up and reveal its true beauty. Take your time to discover the layers of their personality and make sure you’re a good match on different levels.
12. Keep your own life in balance
Dating is fun, meeting new men is fun too. But while you are doing that, it is important to keep your own life in balance, even when you are dating. Keep spending time with your friends, family and hobbies. Men who respect you will have no problem with that.
13. Pay attention to non-verbal cues
Communication is not only verbal, but also non-verbal. What does he say with his posture and behavior and not with words? Pay attention to his body language and the small signals he gives with it. Non-verbal signals can reveal a lot about someone’s intentions and character.
14. Give yourself time to get to know him
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a good relationship doesn’t stand on its own overnight. It needs a solid foundation. Take the time to really get to know men before you fully invest yourself. If that means sexual abstinence, then that’s something to consider. For a good man, that won’t be a problem. He’ll understand that trust takes time to grow.
15. Avoid free dating apps
When it comes to dating apps, it can be tempting to opt for the free options . However, using paid dating apps can have many advantages when it comes to finding a decent man.
Compare it to investing in quality instead of settling for something less valuable. Paid apps tend to attract more serious users who are willing to invest in finding a relationship. This increases the chance of meeting like-minded people who are also looking for a serious relationship.
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16. Ask him about his previous relationships
Just as you would check reviews before buying a product, it’s important to learn about the relationship history of the man you’re dating. Ask candid questions about his past relationships, how they ended, and what he learned from them. This will give you insight into his emotional maturity and willingness to grow in a new relationship.
17. Find out if he has a stable life
Before you give your heart to a man, it is wise to investigate whether he has a stable life. Look at his stability in different areas, such as career, finances and social relationships. Compare it to checking the structural condition of a house before you move in. A stable life provides a solid foundation on which you can build together.
18. Google his name (to rule out the possibility that he is a criminal).
In this digital age, a quick Google search can often provide you with valuable information. Before you fully surrender to his charms, it is wise to Google his name to discover any red flags.
19. Find references
Just as you would ask for references before hiring someone, you can also ask for references in the dating world. Talk to mutual friends, acquaintances, or even ex-partners (if possible and appropriate) to gain more insight into the man you are considering a relationship with. These references can provide valuable information about his character, trustworthiness, and previous relationship experiences. It’s an extra step to ensure you don’t make the wrong choice.
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20. Set boundaries
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries . Setting boundaries prevents you from getting into situations you don’t want to be in. They prevent you from chasing unrealistic expectations and creating an unhealthy balance. Most importantly, boundaries protect your mental health.
Although you may find it difficult to set your boundaries, it is also a test of the man. A decent man will recognize your boundaries and take them into account. He will not try to force you or make you feel uncomfortable.
21. Learn from the past, but stay open
Always consider your previous dating experiences, but don’t let the past stop you from being open to new possibilities. Not all men are the same. Every man is unique and deserves a fair chance. A decent man can stand out from your previous experiences and surprise you with his sincerity and dedication.
22. Be yourself and be proud of who you are
Authenticity is attractive. Be proud of who you are and let your true personality shine. Don’t use too many filters on your photos to polish every imperfection – show yourself as you are. Good men appreciate authenticity and they will love you for who you are.
23. Create a strong support network
Surround yourself with a strong support network of friends and family. They can offer you support and advice during the dating process. More people know more than one. And those who are not in the hustle and bustle of dating are more likely to notice red flags. Your support network can also help you make decisions.
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24. Be patient and don’t give up
Finding a respectful, kind man can take time, so be patient and don’t give up. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of wrong matches to find the right person. So you may have to deal with some disappointments along the way, but keep believing that the right person is out there for you. Stay true to yourself, don’t lower yourself to another level and above all, stay positive.
25. Trust yourself and your own decisions
Ultimately, the most important thing is to trust yourself and your own decisions. You know yourself best and you know what you need and want in a relationship. Don’t let yourself be influenced too much by the opinions of others, but follow your own intuition and feeling.
26. Don’t lose courage
Dating can be daunting at times, especially when you meet the wrong guys . But don’t give up. Like every woman, you deserve a decent man who is worthy of your love and care. Keep your spirits up and it’s only a matter of time before you meet him.
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