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You are sweet, kind and reliable; you are Mr. Nice. You are told it as if it is a compliment, while you yourself believe it to be a curse. Because even though women say they want to date a sweet and genuine man , their actions and choices tell a different story.
Our culture is full of examples of the not-so-nice men who walk away with the prize, call them the bad boys of our society. And thanks to these examples you have come to believe it: ‘nice guys always finish last’. But is that also true?
The most important ingredient
New research from Michigan State University, published in the Journal of Research in Personality, shows that as Mr. Nice quite a bit Mr. Right could be. According to research, having a loving partner is the most important ingredient of a satisfying relationship.
The researchers studied 2,578 heterosexual couples who had been married for 20 years. They discovered that shared interests are not the most important element for a satisfying relationship, contrary to what many people and dating apps believe. Having a partner who is conscientious and kind seems to have the most influence on happy relationships.
“People spend a lot of time trying to find a like-minded partner, but our research says that might not be the best thing to do,” Michigan State University professor Bill Chopik said in a statement . “Instead, maybe people should be asking different questions: ‘Are they a nice person?’ ‘Do they have a lot of anxiety?’ Those things matter more than the fact that two people are introverted and therefore meant to be together.”
The study found that finding a partner with similar personality traits isn’t the most important aspect of dating. Shared interests are great for starting a conversation , but in the long run, they don’t make much difference to the quality of a relationship. Which begs the question: Should dating apps rethink how they match singles based on interests?