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One of our deepest human needs is to be respected. Everyone needs appreciation, recognition and respect. You not only want to be seen by others, but also heard and understood. And when it comes to your partner, you want her to take you seriously.
It is a difficult truth that love alone is often not enough to make a relationship work. There is much more to it than just love. After all, you can also love someone without really understanding each other. And if you don’t understand, appreciate or respect each other, it is difficult to maintain the relationship.
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8 Signs She Doesn’t Respect You
Imagine this: you work hard to put bread on the table, but when you come home, all you hear is complaining about your “low” salary. You feel offended because she treats you like a little child and she constantly goes against your opinion. It seems like she is constantly showing disrespect , but what are the real signs that she doesn’t respect you? How do you know if you are being treated disrespectfully? These are examples and signs that she doesn’t respect you.
1. She likes to belittle you
All her friends and relatives are happy to visit you. And even though you try so hard to please everyone, she makes fun of you personally, causing everyone to laugh at you. If she does this once: no problem. But if she makes a habit of belittling you in front of others, then this is a clear sign of a lack of respect.
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2. She talks about you behind your back
Through mutual friends, you hear that you make a mess at home and never clean anything up. Or even worse, how poorly you perform in the bedroom. If she shares personal details about you with others behind your back, this is a sign that she does not respect you. Especially if these personal details are negative in nature.
3. She tends to complain about you
No matter what you do, she can’t seem to be satisfied or happy. It’s like nothing you do is good enough for her. No matter how hard you work, how hard you try to listen to what she has to say, it’s not enough. She wants you to change and doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. She could also do this:
- She calls you ‘stupid’ when you make your own choices.
- She doesn’t take you seriously when you talk about your feelings.
- She tells you how something should be done.
- She doesn’t recognize your needs.
4. She hurts you on purpose
In every relationship, no matter how good or happy it is, there comes a time when someone gets hurt. It happens unintentionally, through something you say without thinking about it. Or you do something without thinking about the consequences. That’s because no one is perfect and making “mistakes” is human. But some people do it intentionally and that’s a sign that they don’t respect you. Hurting someone you supposedly care about on purpose? That’s extremely disrespectful.
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5. She doesn’t listen to you
With your qualities, characteristics and life experience, you would expect her to take every piece of advice you give to heart. But she does the opposite. She hears you, but does not listen to what you really have to say. In other words: she does nothing for you. And if your partner does this, then this is really a sign that she does not have enough respect for you.
6. She keeps secrets from you
At least in a relationship you are expected to be open and honest with each other. You don’t have to be aware of every text message or conversation, but you should know the most important things about each other from the basics. However, if she keeps secrets from you about her personal life and you find out through someone else, then this is a sign not to be ignored.
7. She crosses your boundaries
In order for a relationship between two different people to succeed, it is necessary that you get to know each other’s boundaries, but also respect them. Whether in the bedroom or outside. It’s the subtle signs of disrespectful behavior that you may not see as disrespect at the moment.
You agree to do something fun together , but because of a double agenda, the appointment with her friends takes precedence. And you hate it so much when someone leaves you hanging. Not respecting your time, feelings, intelligence and even personal belongings are clear signs that you have no respect for you.
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8. She openly flirts with others
The fact that you are in a relationship should be enough to say goodbye to flirting with others . If she is doing it openly, or in front of you, then she is showing little respect for your feelings. Whether she is doing it deliberately to get back at you for something you said, or because she is genuinely interested in others, if she is doing this then she has no respect for you.
Even in the best and happiest relationships, there will be times when one or both partners feel disrespected. And that in and of itself doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker or a reason to break up . Because if you think back on every relationship you’ve had, it’s always happened at some point. So the key is that you have to be able to bring it up. Can you discuss it with her in a constructive way?
When she doesn’t show you respect, you feel misunderstood and probably quite powerless. It can be tempting to bury your head in the sand and dismiss all the signs as a ‘mood’. But this doesn’t solve the problem. It’s time to talk about it: not aggressively or defensively and certainly not accusingly, but in a calm and quiet way. For example, like this:
- Don’t get offended.
- Stay calm and collected.
- Discuss it with a confidant.
- Confront her at the right time (not during or after an argument).
- Tell them you feel disrespected.
- Give examples (without pointing fingers).
- Listen to what she has to say about it.
- Decide whether you are satisfied with this answer.
- Be prepared to end the relationship.
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