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It is exciting, intense and gives a wonderful feeling: that colleague you have been daydreaming about for months turns out to also have feelings for you. And while you never noticed, you not only fantasized about your colleague, it also happened the other way around.
It’s not even surprising that this happens to you. Because it happens non-stop; a superficial interaction with a colleague goes beyond ‘friendly’. What started as an innocent conversation about the quarterly figures ended in a flirtatious conversation that afterwards makes you think: “..did I really say that?”
Because when you share the same carpet day after day with someone who also has the same interests, the boundaries blur. A workplace flirtation can therefore be both dangerous and exciting. Exciting because you are secretly navigating between lust and love, dangerous because it can damage your career.
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Prevent it from damaging your career
Although a relationship with a colleague is not prohibited, it can cause some awkward faces. Especially if you keep quiet about it to other colleagues and your loved one is not only your partner, but also your subordinate, you can count on a lot of fuss. In fact, it could be grounds to fire you.
No one wants to be fired early. Here are 11 ways a relationship with your coworker can be disastrous for your career.
1. Your love life as a topic of gossip among colleagues
Gossip happens in every company and in every department. Men talk about the nice ass of the woman in department X , women about the bad clothing choices of the men in department Y. Do you know what both men and women gossip about? Flirting at work.
As soon as you start a relationship with someone at work, the rumor spreads like wildfire in no time. The eyes that are constantly on you when you speak to your partner: these can cause problems in the relationship.
2. It can lead to absenteeism
Everything is fine when you are madly in love with each other. However, this rush of dopamine is only a temporary phase. At some point, the love hormones will come down until they reach a stable level again. You may find out after a few months that it was just a fling .
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It turns into a big argument and you never want to meet each other again. But when you work together, it’s hard to avoid that person. This can lead to you calling in sick to work because you can’t handle being confronted with this person anymore.
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3. You can lose your job
Even if the relationship is going well and a breakup is not at all an issue, there are still dangers. This can happen if the company you work for has a code of conduct for workplace relationships . It sets out rules that you must comply with as a couple, often combined with a reporting obligation to a confidential counselor. And if you don’t follow these rules, you could lose your job.
4. The relationship may have legal consequences
The problematic cases of a relationship with a colleague often only manifest themselves once the relationship has ended. That’s when one or both of them start slinging mud. In some cases this can lead to difficult consequences. For example, your ex can file a complaint against you for sexual harassment; only to get revenge .
5. It can ruin your current relationship
Let’s face it: not all workplace relationships are between two single employees. Some people who start a relationship at work start with a secret affair . They maintain (sexual) contact with a colleague in complete secrecy, behind their partner’s back. As you guessed it, cheating on a coworker can ruin the once-happy relationship.
6. It can create a hostile work environment
In the case of a hierarchical relationship between you and your beloved colleague, the relationship can create situations that negatively impact your work environment. Your colleagues may not be too happy with the idea that you are in a relationship with your manager.
They may get the feeling that you are being favored or that what was said in confidence at work is discussed during pillow talk . As a result of their distrust, they can make it extra difficult for you by being hostile.
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7. It can damage your reputation
A relationship with a coworker makes you vulnerable. While you’re trying to act as professional as possible, your significant other gives you a kiss on the cheek. “Oops, it won’t happen again.” And yet, you get hugs and kisses every now and then. All these small actions and well-meaning forms of affection can change your reputation at work and you may even be labeled as one of those love birds who can’t separate work and private life.
8. It is never possible to completely separate business and private life
Ask anyone who works together and also lives with a colleague. Personal matters can affect the professional interaction between you and your partner. Conflicts that arise in the private sphere are fought out at work. Confrontations at home lead to completely ignoring each other at work, while you should actually be working together. No matter how hard you try, it can never be completely separated.
9. You may miss out on a promotion
Relationships between two employees who are equal in position are often not a problem. They often are if one of them is a direct subordinate to the other. And if you want to be promoted to become a manager, this may not be possible at all according to the rules within the company where you work.
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10. Your objectivity is at stake
For those in positions of power, it is important to separate a relationship with a subordinate from the day-to-day running of the company. Because if it seems like you are favoring your partner, then there is no end in sight and everyone will question your objectivity. So before you go into a performance review with your significant other, remember that others will question that raise.
11. One person’s success can cause jealousy in another
Suppose that it is allowed according to the rules to have a relationship with a subordinate, then the promotion of one of the two could still cause problems. Not at work, but within the relationship. The one who is not promoted could become jealous: “Why you and not me?” While you work the same hours and show the same passion, one succeeds and the other does not. And if you are in a relationship with each other, this could lead to disagreements.
A relationship with your colleague: it comes with an interesting dynamic that you have to take into account. So first ask yourself a number of crucial questions before you draw concrete conclusions about your flirting with a colleague. Is this really what you want? What consequences does it have for your career? And are you willing to suffer the consequences, in the name of love?
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