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From not-so-funny opening lines to the best dating sites with personality tests , we write a wealth of fun stuff about the challenging dating phase. What it means when someone doesn’t respond to your messages right away, why playing hard to get isn’t always the right strategy, and how long you should wait to have sex. Everything about dating and relationships is examined to provide you with the answers to your questions. And that’s exactly what most people on this site are looking for: answers to questions.
Although singles are not averse to some tips and tricks for dating apps, they do not represent the majority of our visitors. Most visitors are already in a relationship and are looking for advice about a relationship problem. Despite the fact that more than three quarters of the articles on this website have nothing to do with relationship problems, there is a growing demand for help with relationship problems.
The answer to your “unique” problem
If we haven’t written about it yet, we will receive an email asking how to solve the problem. And more often than not, it concerns a “unique” situation that no one knows what to do with. At least, that’s what they think. Only, more often than not, it’s not that unique.
The problems that most people seek advice for all have the same theme: only the details differ. One of the two treats the other like dirt: what can you do about it? One has cheated, the other still wants to save the relationship : is that smart? Another wants to end the relationship , but doesn’t know how. Each and every one of them are universal themes. Although the names and people differ, they are virtually identical.
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The 5 best relationship books
What we can conclude from this is that there are a number of universal themes that recur in or are the origin of all relationship problems. Fortunately, there are a number of wise writers who have described these themes with pen and paper, to give everyone insight into how these problems arise, how to recognize them and what you can do about them. These people have described this in their relationship books, so that you can help yourself to solve the problems.
There’s just one problem: there’s a lot of stigma around buying a relationship book. Because suppose someone, such as your partner, discovers that you are reading a book about relationships: that clearly says that you are not satisfied, it seems. But rest assured, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Not even if you are lying by the pool during your sun holiday on the Costa Brava.
No one is omniscient when it comes to relationships. And while some people think they don’t need such a book, everyone can learn a lot from it. So it’s perfectly normal to read a relationship book. But which books should you buy? We’ve made a selection of the best relationship books that everyone should have in their bookcase or e-reader.
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The Five Love Languages
At number one is Dr. Gary Chapman’s “top-rated” relationship book: The Five Love Languages. In his years as a relationship therapist, Dr. Gary Chapman noticed that couples had similar complaints about their relationships. One partner would say something like, “I feel like he doesn’t love me.” The other would protest, “I don’t know what else to do! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing.”
Dr. Recognizing a pattern, Chapman searched his years of notes. When someone says they “feel like their partner doesn’t love them,” what do they really want? Surprisingly, the answers to all their questions fell into five categories and revealed a unique approach to loving another.
While the first version of ‘The Five Love Languages’ was published in 1992, the book still flaunts itself in the top lists of the relationship category. More than 25 years later, this revolutionary concept has improved millions of relationships around the world. The premise is simple: different people with different personalities express love in different ways.
Chapman called these ways of expressing and receiving love the “ 5 Love Languages .” They are words of encouragement, giving the best part of our time, gifts, helpfulness, and physical touch. Everyone has at least one language that they prefer over the others… and this is where it gets interesting. This relationship book shows you how to recognize and discover your partner’s primary love language. Combine the five love languages to ensure that your partner feels your love, in the way that your partner wants to be loved.
Hold me
The New York Times has named Emotionally Focused Therapy one of the best forms of relationship therapy , and for good reason. The stories, ideas, and exercises explained in Hold Me Tight are based on the science and wisdom of EFT, the effective model created by Dr. Johnson itself was developed.
In the bestseller Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson argues that love relationships are an attachment bond (similar to the relationship you have with your parents). This book is a classic because it offers a new way to see and shape your relationship from a different perspective. Johnson realized that love relationships were largely driven by unconscious emotions and desires.
Hold Me Tight presents a shortened version of EFT: a kind of summary of the most popular form of relationship therapy. The book guides you through seven conversations that are decisive in a loving relationship and explains how you can shape these moments to create a safe and lasting bond. Cases and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life. Recognize the emotional patterns that arise when you are hurt and experience relationship problems and use the conversations you can have to break through these patterns.
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Addicted to love
Who isn’t addicted to love ? If we are to believe Jan Geurtz, then almost all of us are. In the Dutch bestseller “Addicted to Love” Geurtz explains that the way most people long for love is not necessary at all. According to him, the search for love and recognition stems from an incorrect view of the phenomenon of love. And the cause can be found in your mind.
According to Geurtz, the urge for recognition and love does not help, it is counterproductive: it reinforces insecurity and dependency. This is how an addiction to love, recognition and the safety of a relationship arises. In Addicted to Love, Geurtz explains how you can get a different perspective on this and how you can learn a lot about your own mind. With humor and practical examples, he shows a way out of the vicious circle of love.
This spiritual and intelligent love book by Jan Geurtz meant the breakthrough for the writer. It puts his finger on the sore spot in many relationships and that is why this relationship and self-help book has been a best-selling title since 2009. With this book you can discover yourself, how you are limiting your own happiness and are actually already busy creating future problems. But Geurtz also has a solution for that, which he explains step by step in Addicted to Love.
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Love is a verb
Easy to read, recognizable examples: that is what characterizes Love is a Verb. As a well-known bestseller in the relationship category, it is a book that provides insight into the Flemish foundations of a love relationship. Sexologist Alfons Vansteenwegen from KU Leuven tells you that you can work on a relationship and how to do it. Love is a verb was created after 25 years of intensive work with more than a thousand couples. Vansteenwegen presents what he has learned in all those conversations in a clear and concise manner in this relationship book.
In this book, Vansteenwegen focuses mainly on partners who live together. The goal: relationship improvement. To this end, he offers a number of useful views and shows, using many recognizable daily examples, how you can improve everything. The book does not delve deeply into one aspect of a relationship, but in general almost all aspects of a relationship. Step by step he discusses different parts of the relationship, the problems and solutions.
The result is a survey work that has been on the shelves of the relationship corner since 1988. With checklists and step-by-step plans, you are given the tools to grab hold of your relationship and never let go.
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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
When it comes to relationship books, this book by John Gray cannot be left out: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Although this title was first published in 1992, it is still a classic that both men and women can learn a lot from.
Based on the concept that men and women live on different ‘planets’, this book helps you understand that men and women think, communicate, feel and love differently. Gray does this not only by highlighting these differences with the opposite sex, but also by offering solutions for how men and women can meet in the middle. Despite the catchy title with the nice metaphor, this book is about a serious problem in many male/female relationships: a lack of effective communication.
Rather than placing blame on one person or one gender, this book delves into the differences between the way men and women communicate. For example, according to Gray, men will continue to give until they are satisfied with what they have done. This could be emotions, money, effort, or work. Women, however, usually give in the hope that the man will return the favor. And this is a mismatch in the way that giving is done.
The title is now a well-known expression in Dutch and that indicates how popular this book is (or has been). Since its publication, this book has sold millions of copies worldwide.
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