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Dating: some people love it, others prefer never to do it at all. In any case, it is a very exciting undertaking. When you meet someone you like, you want to make a good (first) impression on that person. And that often brings a lot of nerves.
What should you do and what should you absolutely not do? And how do you find out whether the other person has feelings for you? After how many dates is it possible to transition to a serious relationship ? We’re going to tell you all about it.
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An uncertain period
Dating is always an uncertain period. For everyone. That is because two people are still figuring out how much they like each other and whether they can imagine a future together. After a few dates, that is not always possible, although it is also possible that you know this for sure after a few moments together.
The mythical love at first sight doesn’t happen as often as you might hope, so it’s useful to know a little more about dating. In this uncertain period, it’s nice to know some handy tips and how to best behave or position yourself towards your date.
Tips for a successful date
To have a successful (first) date, make it a lot easier for yourself by taking the following things into account:
- Meet in a public place, so that you can both leave if it turns out to be nothing.
- Do something you both enjoy, because dreading the date can make you dread the person too.
- Keep it light, don’t immediately reveal your deepest secrets or problems because that might scare the other person off.
- That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show that you have depth as a person; just make sure you have a good balance.
Other things to keep in mind
In addition, it is important to treat others as you would like to be treated. Make sure you put someone at ease, because you probably like that too. If you have a certain kind of humor or are sarcastic, let that be known. Be yourself, but be careful.
If you suddenly make a very crude joke without moving a muscle in your face, it can go very wrong if someone is not prepared for it. Step by step showing who you are and getting to know the other person in this way, ensures that you become curious about each other and that the interest in each other increases.
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When do you know if there is more in it?
If you had a nice date together, try to gauge whether there is a follow-up date in it for the other. Do you both agree almost immediately that this seems nice? Then it is clear that the first date was good for both parties. And with a kiss on the first date, the chance of a second date is of course greater.
Does someone have doubts, does he or she seem more absent or does he or she literally say that it might not be such a good idea? Then leave it for what it is. There are more fish in the sea: as cliché as that sounds.
If someone wants to be around you and get to know you better, then it is worth putting in the effort. If not, it is better for both of you to continue your search.
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The best strategy
Did you both get excited after the date? Then there is a good chance that you will get along well and that you will certainly find a nice idea for your next date. From then on, try not to worry too much, because it seems like you’re getting along well enough and can be yourselves. That is also very important.
Meet up a few more times and do things you like (or have never done before). In this way, you get to know each other better and discover where things can go.
Asking the big question
After many dates, you may start to wonder how serious things are between you. That makes sense, because that moment has to come at some point. It can then go two ways: either you decide to continue together or you drop out and actually no longer see each other.
Because you probably prefer to know what to expect in advance, it is wise to gauge whether or not the other person is looking for something permanent or serious. Do you both think it would be fun to have a serious relationship? Then it is to be expected that after a while you will both want to take it a step further.
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Ways to confirm the relationship
In general, people no longer ask each other the question literally: “Do you want to date me?” It often happens between nose and lips that it is discussed what exactly you are of each other. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask it literally.
During the first three months of dating, it is often still somewhat casual and it is mainly about having fun. Don’t try to embarrass someone else by asking after a few weeks what he or she feels about you. After those three months you often meet each other’s friends or even family and you know that things are getting more serious.
If you see each other about twice a week, after three months you will have had about 24 dates, although you no longer really speak of “dates”. From that moment on, it is allowed to discuss how you envision the future together. The final number? That is 24, but then we are talking about an average.
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follow your feelings
Even though this is what the average dating person does, it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for everyone. Always follow your feelings and remember that you are the only one who knows what is good for you. Does it feel like you need to take it easy for a while? Then take your time for that.
It is not an option to start a happy relationship if you have to force certain things. Then indicate your limits. And does it feel like after just a few dates you have to shout from the rooftops that you think someone is great? Then do what makes you happy and discover how that works out for you. Every moment is a learning moment, so making mistakes is actually not possible.
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