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A relationship breakup can be an unpleasant event. Maybe you hoped that everything would turn out well, but unfortunately that didn’t work out. It may seem far away now, but it is possible to find yourself again after a breakup. After a breakup you can suffer from various unpleasant symptoms. We often see various forms of loneliness, disappointment, anxiety or depression, but other issues can also arise, such as identity problems.
Due to the breakup, you have lost some connection with the other person, something you may have worked on together for years. It is therefore not surprising that you feel a bit lost and “don’t know it all anymore”. However, it is important to work on it and ensure that you find yourself again, so that you can continue with life in good spirits. These 8 suggestions can help you get back on track.
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1. Give your emotions space
It is important to give your emotions space. These emotions can build up considerably during your relationship. These can all come to the surface after the break. So don’t be ashamed at all if you suddenly have to cry or get angry. It is good to give these emotions space and not bottle them up. Let it go. This makes it easier for you to put it behind you and become happy again .
2. Write down your thoughts
By writing down your thoughts you can get them out of your head. This then ensures that you no longer have to think about it. For example, consider keeping a diary, writing a letter to a good friend, or processing your emotions in a poem. By doing this you process your thoughts, giving you space to think about other things and find yourself again.
3. Set goals for yourself
By achieving goals you set, you can create victories for yourself. This ensures that you produce dopamine and get back into an optimistic mindset . Don’t set these goals too strict for yourself in the beginning, but make sure they are achievable. If you keep doing this, you will get better at it and it will become easier.
Once you’ve achieved some smaller goals, you can also set bigger goals for yourself – such as losing weight to a target weight or getting a promotion at work. But it is important to build this up in small steps, otherwise you will become demotivated again.
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4. Spend time with friends
Sometimes it is also necessary to be together with others. Due to your breakup, you have to rely on yourself a lot, which can cause you to miss social contact. By meeting up with friends, even though your mind may not be in it right now, you can break this social isolation. A good conversation with friends can also help you discover who you are. It can also help to take up a hobby. You will then be distracted for a few hours so that you don’t have to keep thinking about the breakup. It can also help you sort out your thoughts.
5. (Re)discover yourself
During your relationship you may have put yourself aside and focused more on your partner. You haven’t always had time to do what you enjoyed so much. However, now it’s time to look at yourself. What do you like?
For example, take up your old hobby from the past or discover a new hobby. Or have you been looking forward to a nice holiday for a long time, but it never happened? Now is the ideal time to do this. Reconsider what you find important in your life and what you would like to achieve and focus on that.
6. Take a break
Don’t immediately jump into a new relationship , but also give yourself time to process your breakup. A new relationship may distract you from your previous partner, but this will not allow you to process it. So take a break and only start a new relationship when you are really ready. In addition, now is a good time to think about what you are actually looking for in a future new partner.
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7. Go on a date alone
When we think of a date, everyone thinks of meeting someone else. However, you don’t have to be with a partner to go on a date. So don’t be ashamed to go on a date alone . Treat yourself to a nice movie or have a nice coffee and people watch. You can also go out for an extensive meal on Friday evening. You can still do these fun things when you’re alone.
By doing things alone, you get to know yourself in a new way. Plus, a big advantage of going out on your own is that you don’t have to take anyone into account. You are flexible and can decide to adjust your plans at any time.
8. Ask for advice
You are not the first to experience a break-up . If you no longer know what to do, you can also ask for help from other people (online). For example, you can talk to others on a forum, read articles or pick up a book by someone who describes his experiences. If you still cannot resolve it after this, it is also possible to talk to a psychologist – this is also possible anonymously and online. This will then help you process your relationship break-up .
A breakup is of course never a pleasant event. In fact, it can make you feel like your life has been turned upside down. It is also possible that it may take quite a while before you feel good about yourself again. These 8 ways ensure that you know how to find yourself again after a breakup.
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