26 Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Partner

To maintain a strong relationship, both partners sometimes need to step up their game. Working hard doesn’t necessarily mean exhausting yourself. Or that you have to read dozens of relationship books . It’s about knowing the difference between talking, listening and communicating.

Talking, in itself, doesn’t help anyone get ahead. Good communication, on the other hand, does help a relationship. For example, to understand each other and overcome obstacles together. If the communication isn’t there, you may hear things you don’t really want to hear from your partner.

The impact of poor communication

It can cause the most loving couples serious tension, resentment or even the breakdown of their relationship: poor communication. Everyone is at risk of making a mistake when it comes to communication. For example, while you think you are making an innocent statement, it is not perceived that way at all. We often say to our partner: ‘but I didn’t mean it that way at all’. However, the damage has already been done.

The fact is that some of the things we say can hit us all hard. And if we’re not careful, these statements can lead to conflict. It’s not just about insults. Even the most innocent-seeming sentences can cause major problems in the long term.

ALSO READ: 43 Things Couples Argue About

26 things you should never say

In the heat of the moment, we all say something we shouldn’t. But once it’s out, you can’t take it back. That’s just how it works with the statements we make. These are 26 sentences you should never say to your partner. And one you certainly don’t want to hear from your partner.

1. I can’t count on you

When you tell your partner that you cannot count on him or her, you are signaling to your partner that you cannot see the good that they bring to the relationship.

2. I don’t want to talk about it

When you shut your partner up or cut off the conversation, you are essentially letting your partner know that they are not important to you. Are you in an emotional state? Then it is a good idea to set aside another time for your partner to talk about it.

3. I don’t love you

It may be tempting to say this to your partner in the middle of a heated argument. Even if you say ‘sorry’ afterwards, your partner will always have doubts. Whatever you say next will have a long-lasting impact on the bond and trust in the relationship.

ALSO READ: Gaslighting Examples: 54 Sentences and Statements from The Gaslighter

4. You shouldn’t feel this way

When you tell your partner that they shouldn’t feel a certain way, he or she will doubt themselves. And that is discouraging. No matter how much you think your partner’s feelings are wrong, never tell someone else how they should feel.

5. You shouldn’t eat that

Unless eating a certain food causes an allergic reaction in the other person, it is not your job to tell another person what they should and should not eat. This statement screams that you are trying to control your partner. And some may feel offended if their partner thinks they are too fat.

6. I want you to earn more

Even if you’re barely making ends meet, telling your partner that they don’t earn enough will only lead to resentment and relationship problems. In other words it means: ‘You’re not good enough for me’.

7. I wouldn’t do that if I were you

This expression not only seems controlling, but can even come across as threatening. Subconsciously you are actually saying that you do not trust their ability to make a choice.

8. Get over it

This derogatory sentence will probably lead to a big argument . No matter how unreasonable you think your partner is, find a kinder way to acknowledge their emotions.

ALSO READ: This One Disagreement Leads to Double The Chance of Divorce

9. We need to talk

Even if you really need to talk, this is not a good way to start. It always means that a difficult conversation will follow. The fear of the unknown makes it even worse.

10. You are just like my mom/dad

Chances are your partner won’t take this as a compliment. Comparisons with a family member will directly affect mood. And not in a positive way.

11. Don’t be so dramatic

If you feel like your partner is blowing small things out of proportion, the best way to express it is without using the word “drama.” What you see as drama may actually be your partner’s real and serious way of expressing their feelings.

12. This is all your fault

Placing all the blame on someone else is not the best way to solve problems. It is more important to look at solutions together, rather than holding one partner responsible.

13. You looked good then

While you may just say this kindly, don’t be surprised if your partner thinks you wish they still looked the way they did years ago. Or even worse: that you no longer find your partner attractive.

14. You never let me do what I want

Although it may seem like your partner is trying to punish you, it’s important to realize that you have responsibilities. The choices you make in life ensure that you can no longer do what you want.

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15. You should know how I feel

Don’t expect your partner to be an expert at mind reading. No matter how well your partner knows you, they probably can’t guess your exact emotions.

16. You have to…

Your partner is an individual. They don’t have to do something just because you think they should. Behaving like their parent or teacher won’t bring about the change you were hoping for anyway.

17. I’m bored

Just because you can’t think of ways to entertain yourself doesn’t mean it’s your partner’s problem. It’s not their job to make sure you have fun.

18. Hurry!

This sentence won’t do you much good. Your partner will feel excited and rush because you want him to. What do you think this does to the other person? And you know it; more haste less speed.

19. Do you think he/she is more attractive than me?

Providing the desired answer to this question is an impossible task. If your partner says ‘yes’, an argument will ensue. If they say ‘no’, thousands of other questions follow to find out whether they are telling the truth or not.

20. Don’t take it personally

It’s virtually impossible not to take your partner’s words and actions personally. In fact, how the other person takes it is not up to you at all. We have the right to feel what we feel and to discuss those emotions with our partners.

ALSO READ: At This Age People are Least Happy with Their Relationships

21. How much did you drink?

After a night out with friends, avoid interrogating your partner and asking how many drinks they’ve had. If your partner has the habit of drinking too much, that’s a different story.

22. I hate your family

If you have specific problems with your partner’s family members, discuss them first rather than condemning an entire family. This is one of the phrases that no one wants to hear in a relationship .

23. I hate your friends

Even if you’re not crazy about your partner’s friends, it’s best not to outright say you hate them. As long as those friends aren’t disrespectful or dangerous, it’s best to say nothing about them.

24. I don’t want to harp on about it, but…

If you know your partner won’t get around to something you need, bringing it up over and over again isn’t the best way to do it. Remind your partner how you feel when they don’t listen to your requests.

25. You talk too much

Telling your partner that they talk too much when they’re excited about something is a mean way to break off communication. Communication is an essential part of the relationship.

26. Answer when I call you

Sometimes your partner has other obligations that cannot be avoided. If they don’t answer the phone right away when you call them, you don’t have to see this as a direct avoidance.

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