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Interpreting your partner’s behavior positively, keeping yourself in check, communicating openly, avoiding conflict, helping each other: these are the things you do to keep a relationship healthy. But these are also the things you don’t do if you chronically don’t get enough sleep.
Are you starting to become extremely annoyed with your partner? Do you no longer feel like talking to your loved one? And does “lover” even sound a bit exaggerated compared to what you feel for your partner now? Before you come to the conclusion that you are in a relationship slump : check how much sleep you get, because according to various studies, a lack of sleep could be the cause.
Not enough sleep can ruin your relationship
Sleep plays an important role in how we experience and regulate our emotions. Little sleep makes us irritable, short-tempered and more indifferent than normal. We become more emotionally unstable, which means we tolerate less and are more prone to mood swings. And who are you taking that out on? Right, usually it’s your partner who gets the short end of the stick – the one closest to you.
According to the Brain Foundation , adults should get at least 7 hours of sleep per day up to a maximum of 9 hours per day. Anything less than that increases the risk of various neuropsychiatric and physical disorders. And if it is chronic sleep deprivation, you may also see this reflected in your relationship. Research proves it.
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Sleepless nights, more complaints?
A study of 43 couples by Ohio State University found that couples who sleep less than seven hours a night are more likely to argue in a hostile and negative way. But if one partner gets enough sleep, arguments are more likely to be constructive and ultimately end in reconciliation.
In another study from the University of California, psychologists studied the nighttime sleep patterns and daily relationship behavior of couples. They especially wanted to know how sleep affects relationship conflicts and discovered that on nights when couples sleep worse, they argue more often the next day .
Sleep deprivation not only causes more conflicts, it also changes the way they are fought. Once there is conflict, behaviors that psychologists know are toxic to relationships emerge . So more bickering is not the only side effect of a sleepless night. It can also lead to more hostility toward your partner.
Small problems seem bigger
“When we don’t get enough sleep, we’re more likely to overreact to situations that wouldn’t normally startle us,” clinical psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine specialist Jennifer L. Martin previously told Time Magazine . “This can lead to more conflict and less satisfying relationships.”
Martin: “If you’ve ever seen a 2-year-old who skipped a nap, you can see a version of how we all respond to sleep deprivation in terms of our emotions,” says Martin. “Small problems seem bigger. Our responses are amplified.”
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What sleep deprivation does to you
Some studies show that people are more likely to feel sad, depressed, or anxious when they don’t sleep well or when they are sleep deprived. But there are not only emotional consequences, a lack of sleep also makes you physically less attractive. The bags under your eyes, sore and tired eyes, an unhealthy skin color: it can also be noticed by others.
A 2017 study published in Royal Society Publishing found that sleep-deprived people were rated as less healthy and less attractive than people who had a good night’s sleep. Study participants were asked to rate photos of people who had been sleep deprived for two days and people who had slept well. The results showed that sleep-deprived people not only look less healthy and less attractive, but also that people are less likely to socialize with people who look tired.
Dozens, if not hundreds, of studies confirm the disadvantages of chronic sleep deprivation and provide good reason to avoid sleep deprivation. A severe lack of sleep can make you less optimistic and less sociable .
Meanwhile, you become worse at understanding and expressing emotions and it has been shown that a lack of sleep makes you more irritable. And this alone should be reason enough to make sleep a priority, right? Your relationship will be grateful for it.
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