26 Things to Say When You’re in an Argument (and Don’t Want To)

Suddenly you realize it. You’re arguing with your loved one and you don’t even remember what it was originally about. One minute you’re asked to fold laundry and five minutes later you’re having an argument about your selfishness. Huh? Relationships can be confusing – especially when you argue with your partner regularly.

Some days you have a disagreement about the same problem you’ve been trying to solve for the past three years. On other days, an even bigger problem is solved within a day and without arguments. How is this possible? Why does it get out of hand sometimes and not other times?

ALSO READ: 26 Classic Causes of Common Relationship Problems

Negative relationship patterns

In most relationships where arguments occur regularly, both partners fall back into negative relationship patterns . For example, that is the pattern in which you prepare for potential conflicts. This makes you defend yourself faster and attack even faster, while that is not at all beneficial for the relationship. Both defense and attack do not bring you any closer to a solution. What does help is looking for cooperation and reaching a compromise.

Before a conversation turns into a shouting match, you have the opportunity to steer the conversation toward healthy discussion . It doesn’t take much. Sometimes one sentence is enough to light the fuse. And it is wise to say that sentence before it is too late.

ALSO READ: 12 Things You Should Never Do in a Relationship

26 things to say when you’re in an argument

Relationship conflicts just happen. Big conflicts and small arguments: they are never fun, but they are quite normal. If you do n’t want to make it into a ‘real’ argument , we’ve put together a list of phrases that might help you. These are 26 things to say when you’re in an argument.

1. I’m sorry I…
2. You’re right.
3. What can I do now to make you happy?
4. How do you see this situation?
5. Why did this upset you? I want to understand.
6. I think you said…did I understand that correctly?
7. I agree with what you said, but I also wanted to tell my side of the story.
8. I shouldn’t have done that.
9. How do you feel now?
10. Can we talk about it more later?
11. I understand your point.
12. Should we agree on this?
13. I would like to explain why I feel this way.
14. I understand how you feel about it.
15. Another way to look at this is…
16. Maybe you’re right about that part…
17. I would like to tell you how I see it from my perspective.
18. I would actually like to focus on the things we agree on.
19. I’ll have to think about that for a moment.
20. Can we agree to disagree on this?
21. If I understand you correctly, then…?
22. I shouldn’t have said that.
23. I may have overreacted a bit because…
24. How can we find a compromise on this?
25. I want to understand what happened so we can talk about it.
26. Should we sleep on it?

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