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In recent years, the whole discussion about racial differences, differences in color, and religious differences has been stirred up again. It is a subject that will never completely disappear from society. This does not alter the fact that it is increasingly common to see interracial relationships on the streets; two people who are of different races and are in a relationship with each other. In some cases, this results in children who have characteristics of both races and grow between two cultures.
While one person finds this an enrichment, another sees it as a problem. Or at least as a challenge. In this article we will therefore tell you everything about the characteristics of interracial relationships, the findings in the Netherlands, and what the obstacles are. Because it is not always easy to maintain an interracial relationship? That’s an understatement. Although, of course, true love will overcome many of those obstacles.
What is an interracial relationship?
An interracial relationship is a relationship between two partners from different racial backgrounds. It is mainly a term used in the racially divided United States. In the Netherlands people often speak of a ‘mixed relationship’ or a mixed marriage.
In addition to differences in color, there may be differences in religion, ethnicity or nationality, or a different economic or cultural environment. These differences in an interracial relationship are often caused by the fact that the racial differences also immediately entail other social differences.
If the two people decide to marry, it is often referred to as a mixed marriage, while any resulting children are also popularly referred to as ‘half-bloods’.
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Interracial marriages were prohibited
Interracial marriages were prohibited for a long time, also in the Netherlands. When we think of interracial marriage bans, we often quickly think of the United States and the period of slavery or of South Africa, where apartheid drove people of different colors apart.
But the Netherlands has also had its periods of interracial marriage bans, for example in the colonies of Suriname and the Dutch East Indies – the former Indonesia. Mixed marriages between Jews and non-Jews were also prohibited during the Second World War, but also during the Dutch Republic, the period between 1588 and 1795; all from very different motives.
In current times it is unthinkable that interracial marriages are prohibited by law, but there are still opponents of interracial relationships. This can happen especially in cultures where parents have a say in their children’s choice of partner.
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Chance of succeeding
Yet interracial relationships are also a way to bring different cultures closer. The Central Bureau of Statistics (CBS) even refers to the fact that interracial marriages are seen in surveys as a way to strive for ‘successful integration’.
In the Netherlands, there are more and more marriages between people from different cultures, but most young Turkish and Moroccan Dutch people marry a partner with the same background . In 2018, this was the case for 85% of Moroccans born in the Netherlands. For Turkish Dutch people this is even 89%. CBS has almost no data on Antillean and Surinamese Dutch people – this group hardly marries and mainly lives together.
Statistics Netherlands did look at the partners with whom they live and it shows that Antilleans and Surinamese are more likely to have a relationship with native Dutch people than Turks or Moroccans. Although the percentage of interracial relationships is still relatively low among the Turkish and Moroccan group, the number of mixed relationships is increasing. People get married later, the groups have children later, and the level of education rises.
Although there are more and more relationships between different groups, mixed relationships still appear to be above average vulnerable. The most vulnerable relationships are those between a native woman and a male partner with a Turkish or Moroccan background. About 40% of these couples are still together after 12 years, which also means that more than half of the relationships fail. Four in 10 long-term relationships end in divorce, which is in line with the national average in the Netherlands.
If we look at cohabitation, 70% of people still live together after 12 years. That percentage is lower among Surinamese and Antilleans; of those groups, slightly more than half (Surinamese) and slightly less than half (Antilleans) are still together after 12 years.
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5 obstacles and challenges
Interracial relationships are exciting because due to the different backgrounds of the partners, there are many challenges that both partners have to overcome. For example, cultural differences between partners can lead to misunderstandings, especially if the cultures differ greatly and one culture is very dominant. Couples may have difficulty with the other’s customs, which can lead to irritation. We have listed the five most common obstacles and challenges for you below.
1. Acceptance by environment
One of the main stumbling blocks in interracial relationships is acceptance by the environment – often from family and friends. People who each have a different appearance are checked more often and acceptance abroad is often a lot less than in the Netherlands. While in the Netherlands it is already very common to see a dark and a light partner, this is much less the case in other parts of the world.
2. Religious differences
In the case of religiously mixed marriages, it may not be possible to get married in church or the marriage may not be recognized. This is also the case with other faiths. In some cases, someone may be required to convert to the other’s religion before there is acceptance.
Differences in religion can lead to serious relationship problems , between the partners themselves, but also if one or both families attach importance to religion. The fact that religiously mixed marriages are not desirable, especially in the past, is evident from the proverb: “Two faiths on one pillow, the devil sleeps between them.” As a modern variant of this, ‘Two cultures on one pillow’ is sometimes used.
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3. Language problems
Language problems can also lead to misunderstandings. This is especially the case if the two partners were each born in different countries and have little or no familiarity with each other’s native language. This can lead to misunderstandings, but also to adjustment problems in the new country of residence or even to discrimination.
4. Education of children
Sooner or later the question may arise as to which cultural practices any children are raised. Language and religion are an important part of this, but other norms, values and customs also play a role.
5. Interaction with (in-law) family
In cultures from less developed countries, the family is often dominant. For example, in some cultures it is still common for in-laws to live with the couple or for family to visit often, while in other cultures more value is placed on personal freedom. This can cause serious friction between both partners.
Interracial relationships often have to overcome several stumbling blocks. After all, when you marry someone, you marry everything that makes them who they are, including that person’s culture and race. Although interracial relationships can come with additional challenges, you can face those challenges together and emerge stronger as a couple.
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