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Are you in a long distance relationship? But do you have the feeling that it is no longer as nice as before? Or that problems are starting to arise? It may be because you don’t see each other in person very often or because contact is sometimes a bit difficult. Whatever the situation, it’s time to do something about it.
There is nothing wrong with a long-distance relationship. However, this form of relationship is not for everyone. It is a unique relationship with its own obstacles and challenges. There are several reasons why a long-distance relationship usually doesn’t work.
6 reasons why long distance relationships don’t work
We have listed a number of reasons that can ensure that a long-distance relationship does not work for you. These are signs that the relationship is in dire straits and that you need to find a solution to save the relationship.
1. Digital contact only
A major reason why this type of relationship fails is that people get tired of speaking mainly online, on the phone or through text messages. If you’ve been sitting behind a screen at work all day, you don’t always feel like doing that in the evening to see your loved one. The fact that you don’t always see each other in person and do fun things together breaks many people in a long-distance relationship.
2. Poor communication
Another important point is that if you have a disagreement or argument, you should resolve it over the phone or through some digital means of communication. This is not always easy to do. Sometimes messages are misunderstood and it is difficult or impossible to resolve the dispute properly . In a relationship where you really see each other, there are sometimes arguments. But then you can try to resolve this in person – you don’t have to do this over the phone.
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3. You grow apart faster
When you have a long-distance relationship, it also happens that people gradually grow apart . This also occurs in regular relationships where you see each other in person, but in a long-distance relationship it is not always clear that you are growing apart. Sometimes you take on other activities and interests because you no longer do anything together.
You cannot really experience the daily life of the other person and only hear about it from a distance. In a long-distance relationship, you don’t even know the normal things someone does in a day. Or the things that keep him or her busy during the day. Things you do know when you are in a relationship where you are physically together.
4. Higher ups and lower downs
If you don’t see each other in real life that often, it will be a highlight of your long-distance relationship when you do. Does your lover live abroad and do you only see each other in real life twice a year? Then you live very much towards that moment. This is a highlight. But when you have to say goodbye to each other again, you fall into a kind of black hole or it makes you very down. The long-distance relationship therefore often has major ups and downs. This is true in every relationship. But if the changes come in so hard, it will not have a positive effect on the relationship.
5. Lack of intimacy
If you are in a long-distance relationship, this naturally also causes problems in terms of intimacy . You can only be intimate to a certain extent and there is hardly any real physical contact if you only see and speak to each other from a distance. This can become problematic if you really need physical contact and it is not possible at that moment. Physical intimacy can of course take place if you meet in real life.
In addition, this is not all you have to deal with. Because you want to know much more about each other and do all kinds of fun things together. With some bad luck, a meeting will be disappointing or at some point you will find yourself looking out for each other more than you expected. Even if the contact at a distance is perfect, it can still be disappointing in real life.
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6. Different plans for the future
A common problem with long-distance relationships is that people have different goals in mind and see the future in different ways. You don’t always realize this immediately in such a relationship and sometimes it is already too late. It is then too late to solve the problem or coordinate future plans. If you both want something different, you will really have to talk about it to find a middle ground.
If you really want to move forward together, then you will really have to think about important life topics. For example, think about where you will live once you decide to persevere. This can cause quite a lot of problems if you have to move almost to the other end of the world.
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Certainly not doomed to always fail
A long-distance relationship is not always doomed to failure. Be sure to take that into account as well. If you are both committed to making the relationship a success, then it certainly has no chance.
Is it a pleasant relationship in which you are both satisfied and have everything you could wish for? Then a long distance relationship can really be a success. It is a different kind of relationship than the one where you see each other almost every day, but that certainly does not mean that it cannot be successful.
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