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After six months of dating and countless nights together, you decide it’s time to move in together. You cancel the lease on your own home and move in with your new love. But from that moment on, not only does your marital status change from single to cohabiting, the relationship itself also changes. Because only then will you notice that you have different ideas about everything that has to do with the relationship.
You are by nature an independent person who likes to have your own space. You like to do things your own way without being dependent on others. Your partner, on the other hand, naturally needs more attention and likes to lean on others. That clashes with the way you like to see it. And that’s not the only thing you think differently about. That’s why you wonder: is there a match between our relationship values?
What are relationship values?
Relationship values are the values that determine how you behave in relationships with others. This could, for example, concern trust, respect, integrity and loyalty. These values help you have healthy and positive relationships with others. They can also determine how you respond to challenges and conflicts and therefore these values have a lot of influence on your behavior and attitude in a relationship.
The relationship values describe what things you like to see in a relationship. Not what you like to see in a partner, but especially what goes on between you and your partner. They are the things that make you happy when you are in a relationship. Your relationship values help you form a basis for how you – as a couple – want to live and communicate together.
If you have the same or similar relationship values as your partner, you are more likely to be able to live together in a harmonious way. In the event of conflicts you are more likely to be on the same page and therefore you can resolve them better. If you and your partner’s relationship values differ greatly, this can lead to tensions and arguments. And then the different relationship values can pose a problem for your relationship.
34 relationship values that can be important
What is important to you in a relationship? What are the things you value? These are the relationship values that must be present for you personally in a relationship for it to succeed. What should you think about? These are 34 relationship values that can be important pillars.
1. Respect
Respect is one of the most basic relationship values that you should strive for in your relationship. It is indispensable. It not only means that you respect each other, but also that you respect each other’s opinions, feelings and personal space. Only when you show respect for each other can you really feel a connection with each other.
2. Trust
Trust is the foundation of every successful relationship. To create trust, it is important that you are consistent in what you say and do and that you never cheat or lie to each other. If you fail to do this, trust is lost and it is difficult to regain it.
3. Integrity
Integrity means that you act honestly and are true to yourself, your partner and to the relationship. By acting on what is asked or expected of you, you show that you are reliable and that you can be counted on.
4. Honesty
Honesty is really crucial in a relationship, we all know that. Be honest about what is going on in your life, what is going wrong or what could be improved in the relationship. If you are not open with your partner, it becomes more difficult to resolve the issues, which can lead to frustration or conflict.
5. Communication
Communication is the oil that keeps the relationship machine running. Without good communication you cannot solve the problems and new problems will undoubtedly continue to arise. Communication in relationships is mainly about expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs to each other, in complete openness, so that both feel heard and understood.
6. Romance
Romantic moments can help strengthen the bond between partners, resulting in a stronger emotional connection.
7. Seeking Compromise
It can sometimes be difficult to reach agreement with a partner who has a different point of view. But in a relationship it is important to make compromises.
8. Appreciation
Showing appreciation to each other is perhaps one of the best ways to keep someone close to you. This shows that you care about each other, which gives a feeling of security and connection.
9. Love
For most people, love is the most essential relationship value there is. But love not only means that you love each other, but also that you are always there for each other in good times and bad times. It also means that you are willing to invest in your relationship by doing fun things together, showing affection and supporting the other person where necessary.
10. Loyalty
Loyalty helps you to trust each other. It ensures that you can really feel connected to each other. When we are faithful to each other , you know that you can count on each other and that you will be there for each other when needed.
11. Intimacy
Intimacy is a broad term for everything that has to do with connection. It means that we really listen to each other, with respect and trust. Intimacy also means that there is room to create an emotional connection.
12. Sex
When you ask people what they find important in a relationship, sex is often mentioned. That is why sex is an important relationship value. How often you want sex, how and in what form, these are all things that can be important to you in a relationship.
13. Spending time together
Nowadays it’s easier than ever to get distracted by social media or Netflix, but to truly stay connected you need to spend time together. These can be fun activities such as going out for dinner, but also simple things such as talking to each other during dinner or going for a walk.
14. Understanding
Showing understanding not only means that you listen to what someone says, but also that you try to understand the other person. This gives your partner space to express thoughts and feelings.
15. Support
One of the best ways to support your partner? This is by paying attention when your partner asks for it or when you notice that your partner could use some help. This may mean that you give advice on something where your opinion is important, but also that you provide emotional support.
16. Be open-minded
In a relationship it can be important to be open minded because we all have different needs and desires. By being open minded about your partner’s needs, you can strengthen your relationship through greater understanding of each other.
17. Take responsibility
Taking responsibility for your own actions and words in a relationship so that misunderstandings do not arise that can ruin the relationship.
18. Forgive and forget
The art of forgiveness and forgetting is important when it comes to conflict in a relationship . Sometimes it is difficult to forgive your partner for something they have done. But if you want to keep the relationship, you have to learn to forgive.
19. Laugh together
Laughter is good for the mind and body. But laughing with your partner is even better. Laughing together creates a real bond.
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20. Collaborate
Collaboration is part of every relationship, because it is simply not possible to solve problems alone. If problems arise in the relationship, discuss them together and look for solutions together.
21. Have fun
Having fun not only means that you have fun together when you do something fun together, but also that you take the time to have fun with your partner in everyday moments.
22. Active listening
This means doing more than just nodding your head briefly and saying “mmhm.” We’re talking about listening carefully to what the other person is saying and then asking questions to get more information. Active listening can help you gain a deeper understanding of someone’s perspective.
23. Growing together
True love goes beyond just being together. It is also about strengthening each other. This can be done by sharing experiences, providing feedback and helping each other with personal growth. If you do that for your partner, you will feel even more connected. It also ensures that you grow together – in the relationship and beyond.
24. Safety
Safety goes beyond being physically safe. It is also about the atmosphere of trust and security in which you feel comfortable to share your deepest emotions and desires. When you feel safe with someone, you will be much more open to communication and intimacy, which is essential for a healthy relationship.
25. Attention to each other
By paying attention to what your partner needs from you, you let him or her know that your partner is important to you.
26. Devotion
Invest more in your relationship? Then we are talking about dedication . It means that you do your best to take the relationship seriously and that you are willing to work for it. Commitment shows that you are putting in the effort to make the relationship work.
27. Caring
Caring means that you always want to be loving towards each other. You act with understanding and allow each other to make mistakes.
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28. Flexibility
Do you want a partner who is willing to adjust his or her own opinion if the situation requires it? Even if it is just to find a more constructive solution? Then flexibility is a relationship value that is important to you. Flexibility makes it possible to combine different backgrounds and perspectives.
29. Acceptance
Acceptance means that you are willing to accept your partner as a full person. Or in other words: you accept your partner as he or she is, including all the good and bad sides. Acceptance is important to appreciate each other’s unique qualities.
30. Equality
A fundamental value in modern relationships is equality. Recognize that both you and your partner have the same input, regardless of your different personalities, backgrounds or beliefs.
31. Lifestyle
To be happy with a partner, several similarities are necessary, one of which is lifestyle. If you like the peace and quiet of the countryside, while your partner wants to immerse himself in the energy of the big city, then the lifestyles differ. This is also the case when one person would like to build a family life and the other does not wish to have children.
32. Personal growth
By working together on your personal goals, you can grow together as partners and as individuals. Investing in yourself also gives the relationship an opportunity to grow.
33. Patience
Patience is very important when it comes to relationships because problems cannot always be solved immediately. Sometimes things take time to be resolved.
34. Religious beliefs
If your partner has a different religious background than you, this can be a deal breaker. In a relationship you expect that your partner also finds this relationship value important and is at least open to your views on religious topics.
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