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When you met your partner, everything was perfect. Your new lover was sweet and attentive and you were very happy to have found this special person. But one day – somewhere around the 1-year milestone – certain things suddenly started to annoy you.
From one day to the next you suddenly saw all the things your partner was doing. Things that were starting to irritate you more and more. It started with little things like always turning the television up louder than necessary or never putting away the dishes after dinner and immediately crashing on the couch. These small annoyances gradually grew into bigger problems. Now you might think it’s all on you. And that’s why you wonder: what annoys other people in relationships?
Annoyances in relationships
As humans we can’t help it: things irritate us. This is not special or unique. It is a human response to what someone else does and how someone else is. Usually it is an outlet that has nothing to do with the person or situation. These annoyances occur frequently in relationships, mainly because you see and hear a lot from the person with whom you share your daily life.
Sometimes your partner’s behavior is in contrast to what we expect and that is why we find it uncomfortable or annoying. You may also have a personal aversion to certain behavior, such as when your partner takes on the role of victim. It may also be that your partner’s behavior reminds you of something you have experienced before and that you do not look back on positively.
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21 biggest annoyances in relationships
People can get annoyed with their partner for various reasons. Sometimes it’s just a matter of different personalities and opinions clashing. Other times, the annoyance can arise from long-term problems such as mutual miscommunication, neglect or a lack of respect. These are the 21 biggest annoyances in relationships.
1. Not having time for each other
With a busy life, it’s easy to lose your partner out of the picture when you’re doing things that are more of a priority. From sports and other hobbies to evenings with friends and work: the lack of quality time can be something that annoys you. If you really care about the relationship, you should take the time to see each other – and not just at dinner.
- You’re never home in the evening
- You don’t have time for a date night
2. Secrets from each other
We want to trust our partners and if we hide something from them, they feel cheated . Even when it comes to small things, hiding it from your partner can be an annoyance. That’s why it’s important to be open and honest about everything that’s happening in your life so that the two of you can work on the issues you face.
- Don’t tell them you had a high phone bill
- Don’t say anything about a broken vase
3. Having unrealistic expectations
You may expect your partner to do everything perfectly, but is that possible? Just admit the fact that no one is perfect . Even though you are annoyed by the things your partner does ‘wrong’, your partner is probably committed to being the best partner for you. Therefore, try to be realistic in what you expect from each other and communicate clearly what you need in the relationship to prevent unrealistic expectations from arising.
- Asking your partner to clean the windows, complaining about the result
- You are dissatisfied with your partner’s cooking skills
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4. Forgetting appointments
You can let your partner know that it wasn’t on purpose. You can also apologize every time. But if this happens regularly, it can lead to irritations within the relationship. Therefore, try to keep an agenda with all the appointments you have made so that you never forget anything and there are no arguments about missed appointments.
- You don’t show up
- You’re going to be late
5. Arguing over nothing
It’s important to address problems when they arise, but constantly arguing about every little thing can lead to bigger problems that are difficult to resolve. Therefore, try to stay positive and focus on what is going well instead of just on what is going wrong: this is how you prevent conflicts and remain loving towards each other.
- You start a discussion about an opened jar of peanut butter
- Your partner forgot to change the litter box
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6. Jealousy
Jealousy can come from insecurity or fear of loss, but it can easily become problematic if it goes out of control . The person who is the victim of jealousy does not experience it as love and rather as uncomfortable. Try to talk openly about your feelings with your partner and don’t be afraid to discuss your insecurities.
- You ask ten times a week if your partner doesn’t have another
- You regularly express your suspicions about an affair
7. Not communicating well
Good communication is the key to a successful relationship. If this is not there, miscommunication occurs. And that can annoy people in relationships. Try to be honest about what you feel and want so that your partner understands why you do certain things.
- You think your partner would do something without asking
- You assume that your partner understands without you saying so
8. Checking too much
Want to text all evening when your partner is away or check where your partner is at random times? Your partner may feel controlled if you keep track of all activities and conversations or don’t let them socialize with other people. It’s a major source of annoyance, even though it shouldn’t be necessary.
- You secretly check the phone while your partner showers
- You regularly call to check where your partner is
9. Blaming others
It’s not your fault, so does it have to be your partner’s fault? As a partner you can be annoyed by this, because blaming is not fair in a relationship. If you have a problem, try to find a solution together instead of blaming the other person.
- You blame your partner for a leaky roof
- Your partner is blamed for something you did wrong together
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10. Disrespecting each other
Belittling, putting down or shaming your partner in front of your friends is a major annoyance that occurs in some relationships. It is unhealthy behavior . Respect for each other should always be present, no matter how big or small the situation is. Always be polite to each other and if you disagree with something your partner is doing, try to remain calm and express your point of view in a respectful manner.
- You minimize your partner’s feelings
- You prescribe what your partner can do
11. Making too many demands
Your partner may feel limited if you keep asking for things that your partner cannot give. Demanding behavior towards a partner is a source of annoyance. Therefore, try to have realistic expectations and respect the boundaries your partner sets to ensure that you both remain happy and satisfied in the relationship.
- You want your partner to massage your neck every day
- You always want your clothes to be ironed
12. Showing too little interest in each other
No questions about how your partner’s day was or what your partner thinks about something: showing little interest is something that annoys people in their relationships. If you are interested in what is happening with your partner, you let them know that you care about them and that they are important to you.
- You don’t ask questions about your partner’s work
- You’re not curious about something your partner has done
13. Criticizing instead of expressing love
Criticizing is also a source of irritation in relationships . You may just want to help by giving feedback, but being constantly critical of your partner can lead to feelings of rejection. Therefore, try to give positive feedback and let them know how much they mean to you by complimenting them when they have done what was right.
- You keep complaining about the wrinkles in your clothes
- You whine about it being a mess again
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14. Not supporting each other in difficult times
Not offering support, especially when it’s needed, is reason enough to get annoyed with your partner. It is not only about what your partner does, but also about what your partner fails to do. Not offering support is one of those things that can irritate you. Be there for each other when difficult things happen and be willing to compromise when you have different points of view.
- You distance yourself when your partner is sad
- You ignore your partner’s feelings
15. Unhealthy habits
Drinking too much, gaming 24/7 and drug use: these are the classic sources of irritation in many relationships. If these unhealthy habits occur within the relationship, it is important to talk about them openly with each other.
- You smoke a pack of cigarettes every day
- You lie on the couch every Sunday with a bad hangover
16. Selfish behavior
If you always only think about yourself, this can lead to dissatisfaction in the relationship. Selfish behavior has no place in a healthy relationship. Make sure you set common goals and work together to achieve these goals.
- You put your own goals above the shared goals
- You only want to watch your own television series together
17. Money problems
Financial habits are a common source of frustration in relationships. This is the case, for example, if you spend large amounts without consultation , forget to pay bills or do not contribute enough to the joint assets.
- You’ll never make ends meet with your salary
- You have a habit of impulsive purchases
18. Trust issues
Not trusting each other is also a major source of annoyance in relationships. Trust is the foundation of every relationship and if this trust is lacking, it can lead to mistrust and misunderstandings between partners. Be open about what’s going on between the two of you and discuss where the mistrust comes from.
- You keep thinking that your partner is cheating
- You suspect that your partner is hiding things from you
19. Smartphone use
From posting thirst traps on social media to sitting on the smartphone all evening: the smartphone is a source of irritation in relationships. The ultimate goal should be for you to spend more time together and for technology to help you do this. On the other hand, the same technology can also ensure that there is more distance between you.
- You’re only on your phone when you’re home
- You are addicted to social media
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20. Poor listening
If two people do not listen carefully to each other, this can lead to misunderstandings and problems within the relationship. Listen carefully to each other and try to understand each other’s points of view to avoid such problems.
- You hear your partner, but immediately forget about it
- You don’t listen carefully to what your partner says
21. Forgetting responsibilities
If there are obligations you need to fulfill, such as making payments or completing tasks, it’s important to remember them. This prevents your partner from becoming angry or disappointed. Make sure you meet all your obligations on time and be open about what is expected of you.
- You forget to take a package to the parcel point
- You forget that you had to stay home for a mechanic
Annoyances in relationships can range from unhealthy habits to poor listening to each other. Some are justified and reason enough to irritate you with your partner, other annoyances are entirely your own. However, most of the time, people are annoyed with their partner because they have different ideas about how to solve certain problems, or they have different priorities and goals.
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