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Are you thinking about discussing an open relationship with your partner? Or are you wondering what an open relationship actually means? To determine whether it is something for you, it is important that you realize that relationships between people are never the same. No one is the same, no relationship is identical, which means everyone has different wants and needs. There are steady love relationships, friends with benefits relationships and there are also open relationships.
While some people share their entire lives with one and the same partner, others choose to have only casual sex partners without any form of love. Tastes differ and so does the type of relationship you want. An open relationship is just one of the options you have, but it is an interesting option. Have you ever been curious about open relationships? We’ll tell you more about it.
What is an open relationship?
In a permanent relationship such as most Dutch people have, there is monogamy . There is no sex with people other than the partner. This type of relationship is the standard in many Western countries. But there are also other types of relationships, of which the open relationship is one.
An open relationship is a relationship in which you and your partner agree that you can have sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people, in addition to your own relationship.
In an open relationship you have a relationship with one person, but you have agreed that relationships with other people are also allowed. This can be a sexual relationship, as in most cases, but also a romantic relationship. Some couples choose to only have sexual relationships with others, while others also allow romantic relationships. You may also have more freedom than your partner, depending on the agreements you have made.
It’s important to remember that open relationships aren’t for everyone. It can be a challenging and complex choice with far-reaching consequences if things don’t go well. That is why it is important that you and your partner feel comfortable with the agreements you have made. Moreover, it is not the case that open relationships are better or worse than monogamous relationships – it is about what works for you.
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11 disadvantages of an open relationship
The idea of ​​freedom and adventure can be very tempting. But before you take the step and discuss an open relationship with your partner, it’s important to consider the pros and cons. Because in addition to the advantages that this form of relationship offers, it also comes with a number of disadvantages. So let’s start with the disadvantages first.
Disadvantage 1: you can lose your partner
It is possible that your partner falls in love with someone else. This risk is present in every relationship, but more in an open relationship than in a normal relationship. That is not surprising, if you consider that your partner probably has sex with someone else because there is attraction.
Disadvantage 2: You can become extremely jealous
Open relationships require strong emotional control. Sharing your partner with others can very easily trigger jealous feelings . It can be difficult to see or hear that your partner is being intimate with someone else.
Disadvantage 3: You may feel uncomfortable sharing
In an open relationship there is a lack of exclusivity . The idea of ​​exclusivity may be important to you and the lack of it may leave you feeling dissatisfied or uncomfortable.
Disadvantage 4: your connection can be lost
Open relationships can lead to a loss of intimacy. Sharing your partner can lead to less intimacy and the loss of the emotional connection between you and your partner.
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Disadvantage 5: you can start to distrust each other
A lack of trust can arise. Especially if no clear agreements have been made.
Disadvantage 6: there is a risk of sexually transmitted diseases
Multiple sexual partners can increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. As long as you trust each other to practice safe sexual behavior, this may not be a problem. But if this trust is not there, you are more likely to contract an STD.
Disadvantage 7: it is difficult to set boundaries
It can be difficult to set boundaries in an open relationship. What is allowed and what is not allowed? Especially when it comes to the number of partners or the type of relationships allowed.
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Disadvantage 8: you have to deal with social stigmas
Have you already thought about how those around you will react to it? Open relationships are not always accepted in society, which can make it difficult to do it publicly or talk about it openly.
Disadvantage 9: you can get competition
While your partner has constant contact with others, you are home alone most of the time. How would you deal with that? Finding suitable partners for yourself can be difficult and failure to do so can lead to feelings of frustration.
Disadvantage 10: It can hurt emotionally
It can be painful to see your partner completely absorbed in contacts with others. Especially if you don’t get the same attention from your partner.
Disadvantage 11: it can make you insecure
There is always the possibility that one of them will fall in love. Just the thought can make you insecure about yourself. By allowing your partner freedom in sexual contacts with others, you may become insecure and lose self-confidence.
10 benefits of an open relationship
An open relationship can be a challenging and unconventional choice, but for some people it can be a great way to explore their sexual and emotional needs and strengthen their relationship. Are you also that type? These are the benefits of an open relationship.
Advantage 1: you don’t have to be monogamous
An open relationship is a solution for anyone who does not believe in monogamy. This may be a result of past experiences or a matter of principle – monogamy is not for everyone. In an open relationship you can maintain sexual contacts with others while remaining emotionally tied to your permanent partner.
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Advantage 2: you don’t have to miss anything
Suppose you happen to meet someone with whom you immediately feel a strong physical attraction. In a monogamous relationship it is a no-go to go beyond a normal conversation. But in an open relationship you can go as far as you want – as long as you discuss it with your partner. This intriguing part of an open relationship is exciting and brings out the adventurous within you.
Benefit 3: you experience more freedom
Both you and your partner can explore your own sexual and emotional needs without feeling limited by the relationship.
Benefit 4: you are more independent
In an open relationship, you and your partner have the opportunity to make your own choices and live your own lives. You don’t have to feel limited by the relationship.
Benefit 5: You can meet new people
In an open relationship you have more opportunities to meet new people. You’ll be more open to it and exploring other relationships can lead to building new friendships.
Benefit 6: There can be less pressure on the relationship
You are not each other’s only source of sexual and emotional satisfaction. You can rely on others when necessary, which can reduce the pressure on the relationship itself.
Advantage 7: you have more variety sexually
Do you want more variety in sexual experiences? Exploring different sex partners can give you more satisfaction. They can also ensure that you can grow sexually in your current relationship .
Benefit 8: it gives you new perspectives
Exploring relationships with others can tell you a lot about who you are and what you want. It can give you new perspectives and insights about yourself and your relationships.
Benefit 9: more transparency
Open relationships require a lot of openness and honesty. If this works well, it can lead to more trust in each other and more transparency.
Benefit 10: You can improve your communication skills
Open relationships require open conversations. If you manage to have an open relationship with your partner, then the communication between you and your partner is probably better than with other couples.
Set rules
An open relationship can only function if agreements are made. These rules and agreements are necessary to ensure that you both feel comfortable and safe. These rules and agreements can vary from couple to couple, depending on your specific situation and needs. They are mainly intended to determine wishes and boundaries. These are some examples of rules and agreements that often occur in open relationships:
1. Honesty and open communication
This is probably the most important rule in an open relationship. You must offer to be open and honest about your feelings, desires and experiences with other people.
2. Safety and health
Sex with multiple people is a risk. That is why it is important to inform each other about sexual contacts and, above all, that all sexual activities are done safely. For example, we are talking about the use of condoms and testing for STDs .
3. Consent
Consent is very important in open relationships, because permission is needed from each other to enter into relationships with others.
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4. Respect
In an open relationship it is important to respect each other’s feelings and wishes. That also means not doing anything that could endanger the relationship.
5. Boundaries
Clear boundaries ensure that no misunderstandings can arise. Although this can never be completely determined, you can make rules about what is and is not acceptable in the relationship. For example, think of:
- what you can do with others
- how often you can meet up with others
- where you meet up with others
- whether you can meet with men, women or both
- whether you can meet up with someone more often
- what you tell each other and what you don’t
Open relationship or divorce?
An open relationship is never the solution to a relationship that is not working. It only works if the connection between you and your partner is extremely strong. For it to succeed, a strong foundation based on respect, honesty and loyalty is needed. Opening up a difficult relationship to third parties is a guarantee of failure. If you’re torn between having an open relationship and divorce, it’s important to think about what works best for you and your partner.
What problems there are
If your relationship problems revolve primarily around unmet sexual or romantic needs, an open relationship may be the solution. Although this seems easy, deeper problems can still cause more relationship problems.
Your willingness
Both you and your partner must be willing to have an open relationship. If either of you is not comfortable with this, it can lead to jealousy, suspicion and insecurity. Obviously, this will not make the relationship any better.
What’s more important
Divorce can have a major impact on your life and that of your partner. This applies even more when children are involved. What feels better to you? Divorce or open the relationship to others? It is important to consider both options.
Is an open relationship right for you? If you are unsure whether an open relationship suits your needs and wishes, weighing the pros and cons will help you make the choice.
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